one more time for sting

Baseball Hath Returned...

2008-04-03T22:48:00.002-05:00

And with that being said, no better way to bring in the new season with hysterical rants about how crappy an evening at the old Ted was.

1. Parking lot which was previously $5.00 to park doubled to $10.00. When inquired, I was responded with "inflation's a bitch." Might as well pay the additional two bucks, and park at the sanctioned park parking.

2. Weather somehow went from mild high sixties the evening prior to foggy, damp low fifties for tonight. Made for quite possibly one of the colder, uncomfortable games I've been to; I could mention the previous year's home opener, but at least I was prepared for that one, with a blanket and heavy coat.

3. Corky "The Cable Guy" Miller in the lineup. Why he gets the nod over Brayan Pena is beyond me, both are nowhere near as Brian McCann are, but at least Pena switch-hits, and hits with authority (granted, usually a groundball) with either side.

4. "And the starting pitcher... Number 32, Mike Hampton!" And then we see Jeff Bennett running out of the bullpen. Now, since I was at the game, and not in front of a television set, I had no earthly idea to why this was occurring, but naturally, my first instinct was "Oh great, Hampton's hurt himself for this season while warming up." I ended up hearing about something in regards to him not responding well to the frigid weather or something or other, but the bottom line is that because of his inability to play, the Turner Field faithful was treated to a wonderful evening of bullpen roulette. Just what the Braves need, with the Mets coming into town, to have a tired, not-yet-seasoned bullpen.

With most baseball fans, I have laughed at the unfortunate irony and suffering of Mike Hampton throughout the last two years, but truth be told, I've always been a supporter of him, and looked forward to the day that he would suit up and pitch for the Braves yet again. Ironically, I was present at the park during his last game, where he was toasted by Chan Ho Park and the Padres in 2005. And with each of the last two years, seeing Mike Hampton listed in Spring Training, only for something to occur, which would eliminate him from the roster, I would always be disappointed.

But this, this most certainly has to take the cake. I will have to agree with all the others this time around, and just not even consider Mike Hampton's existence. He's not the X-factor of the Braves success hopes, nor is he someone who can be relied upon later in the season to come out of nowhere and get some wins. He embodies false hopes and promises that fall through. I am tired of the Mike Hampton injury streak, and I'd rather he not play at this point. I don't want him to even come back later in the season and suddenly deliver 7-8 key wins, but the Braves still fall short of the postseason - why, because I don't want him to have the opportunity to essentially audition for his next team, where he would probably be magically healthy and return to at least a 14-15 game winner for some other team than the Braves. Call me spiteful, but it's kinda how I feel.

5. Bullpen woes, part deux. At least when the Braves went into the season with Chris Reitsma listed as closer with guys like Macay McBride, Chad Paronto, Mike Remlinger, and Ken Ray as the primary bridge builders, we KNEW we were going to suck. Perhaps it's because I actually read about spring training, and participate at Talking Chop, I feel more hope and sense more potential from this year's bullpen that has done nothing but make me feel like I'm going to develop an ulcer at 25.

Granted, it's only the fourth game of the season, and I'm fully aware of the whole "It's a long season" mentality, but the mood of the evening is frustration, and I am voicing it now. Peter Moylan is a prime example of how someone started off so horrendously, but as the year went on, he became more reliable. This year, Peter Moylan is responsible for giving up a walk-off homerun to Nationals Star-Risen Ryan Zimmerman at their home opener, and has allowed runs to score on him in his other outing. Blaine Boyer is on the cusp of becoming this year's Macay McBride, and Jeff Bennett, Manny Acosta, and Chris Resop have shown nothing but mediocrity if not worse. I groaned when I learned that the Braves had acquired Will Ohman, and I still feel bowel movements when seeing him come out of the bullpen.

6. Bobby Cox's managerial skills. In the 10th inning, Bobby Cox brought in RHP Chris Resop; fair enough, he's scraping the bottom of the bullpen here. He walked a guy, and let another get on base while WP'ing the first guy to third. And then Cox does something strange, he relieves Matt Diaz, moves the pitcher Resop to left field, and brings in LOOGY Royce Ring, to deal with Adam LaRoche.

It was like watching a perfectly executed plan occur, the way LaRoche's eyes lit up at the levity of the situation. It was almost incredulously insulting the way Bobby Cox knew of LaRoche's inability to possibly slap the ball opposite field to the guy in left field. And probably as instructed, Ring got LaRoche to strike out awkwardly at some really bad outside pitches, probably so he could try; nobody could resist taking a shot at an inexperienced fielder.

Unfortunately, Cox might've been better leaving Ring in to deal with the Braves killer of the moment, Xavier Nady.

Which brings us to #7. Losing the series to the Pittsburgh Pirates. There are certain teams that I can accept defeat from. Division Rivals, bullies from the American League. But the f-ing Pirates?

No.

That just makes me mad.

158 games left to go.

Welcome back to the baseball season, home of volatile mood swings, paranoia, hostility, disgust, jubilation, and anything else that could be otherwise considered crazy. Ain't it great?

End of the Season, for real

2007-10-29T06:43:00.000-05:00

Thankfully, the slew of 12:15 a.m. ending games is over, as the Boston Red Sox completed the sweep of the Cinderella Colorado Rockies. At the same time, I'm glad that baseball games that end too late, and while it's chilly outside are over, it is, as always, sad to know that another baseball season has officially, really, come to an end. Strategically, MLB does everything it can to prolong the interest in the sport during the off-season, with its painfully slow gradual release of all the award winners, the Scott Boras adventures, as he shifts superstars to various teams all while making ludicrous amounts of money for them as well as himself, and then the inevitable checking in by pitchers and catchers, then the position players into their respective Florida or Arizona spring training facilities. For the time being, I'm going to sit back and relax a little bit, and try and focus on other sports.

Speaking of which, the Redskins got annihilated by the New England Patriots, and the greatest football player ever in the history of football, Tom Brady. So despite the fact that Brady threw for his 28th, 29th, and 30th touchdown passes, the fact that they beat the Redskins cements that the, and you heard it here first, New England Patriots will NOT make the Super Bowl. With the constant running of the score, and the blatant attempts for Brady and Moss to pad stats, someone's going to get pissed, and someone's going to get injured. Probably when the Patriots play the Baltimore Ravens. The ultimate test, is to simply put Bill Belichick on the cover of Madden 2008.

So despite my stat-tracking, and predictions of predictability and probability, the one guy who wins the MVP and two crappy gay hybrid cars, is the one guy whom I forgot to, and then failed to mention because I was too lazy to go back and change it, Mike Lowell. Really now, I would've mentioned his respectable average and run-production, and I even already had his picture uploaded to my folder of player pictures - but at the point in which I realized that I didn't add him, the game was already underway, and I was too lazy to go back and add him, as well as look up his World Series stats.

But Lowell deserved the award, as he came up big last night, and capped it all off with a home run. Drew and Manny fizzled out, and despite my jockeying for Ellsbury, his production just wasn't dramatic enough, and I thought for certain that the award was going to go to Papelbon after he earned his third World Series save, and this one after 1.2 innings of work in consecutive nights, but it was no surprise to me when Lowell showed up on the podium. He hit well in every game, and drove in runs, and did his job exceptionally, as a #5 hitter.

I'm glad the World Series is over, but I'm sad the baseball season is really finished now.

Despite this blog being heavily in favor of baseball, I will make my damnedest attempt to keep blogging about sports in general throughout the off-season. I still have a couple of baseball-related topics I'd like to cover, but hopefully, I will make some concious attempts to write about other things, like the fruitless flight of the Atlanta Hawks, or be another whiny argument about how I could improve the BCS and college football. Either way, it's going to be a long off-season.

New England Saturation

2007-10-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

You heard this here first - if the Washington Redskins beat the New England Patriots, I'm putting all my money on the Patriots to make the Super Bowl.

Cases in point - In 1996, the Washington Redskins beat the New England Patriots, 27-22. The Redskins squandered a 7-1 record, and missed the playoffs while the Patriots stomped on glass slipper of the Natrone Means and the Cinderella Jacksonville Jaguars, and went to the Super Bowl, where they got beat by the Green Bay Packers.

In 2003, the Patriots lost to the Redskins in week 4, 20-17. They then proceeded to win like the next one hundred games, including a Super Bowl victory, and rode their win streak to another Super Bowl victory in 2004.

Like I said, you heard it here first. Redskins win, Patriots succeed later on.

Well, it's been confirmed - the MVP of the World Series is getting a Malibu. And not just any Malibu, but a Hybrid Malibu. They took a gay car, and applied the gayness of hybrids to it, thus making it even gayer. And because the trade off of going from a Corvette the previous year to a fucking Malibu, GM decided to give away a second car to the MVP, which is Hybrid Yukon, or whatever other giant American Fuck-You-Mobile SUVs is on their lineup. Because of the sheer fact that pretty much everyone on the Red Sox roster is pretty much already rollin', the cars should go to Jacoby Ellsbury, who looks like he doesn't even have his learner's permit yet. I'm sure he has yet to get his set of exotics, seeing as how he's still making rookie money, but with the way he played last night, an inevitable payday is on the horizon. Besides, the kid just won everyone a free taco, which makes him an MVP in my book.

So let's look at those still in the running for the two pieces of shit cars:

STILL the Front Runner

J.D. Drew, Right Field
5/11, .455 avg., 2 RBI, 2 2B

Likely Candidate based on Popularity

David Ortiz, Designated Hitter / First Base
4/12, .333 avg., 3 RBI, 3 2B

Still putting up Good Stats, but no Chance in Hell

Julio Lugo, Shortstop
4/10, .400 avg., 1 RBI, 1 2B

The Rightful Winner

Jacoby Ellsbury, Outfield
5/12, .417 avg., 3 RBI, 3 2B, 1 SB that won America a free taco

Snuck into the Running

Dustin Pedroia, Second Base
5/14, .357 avg., 4 RBI, 1 HR, 1 2B

Very Likely because he is the Ace Pitcher

Josh Beckett, Starting Pitcher
7.0 IP, 1.29 ERA, 9 Ks

The Closer is always a Candidate

Jonathan Papelbon, Closer
2.2 IP, 0.00 ERA, 2 Ks, 2 Saves

Like I said - none of these guys need two more cars, let alone crappy ones. One more to go, and then we can bid this baseball season adieu

Free Cars that Nobody will Want

2007-10-26T09:15:00.000-05:00

In recent history, Most Valuable Players in sports championship games/series have been awarded with automobiles, along with a commemorative trophy. No better way to appeal these cars to the common man, by giving them to men who could really care less about having another car in their garage to go with their Ferraris, Mercedes, BMWs, and whatever exotic cars professional athletes with multi-million dollar salaries purchase.

Cases in point - Hines Ward, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Deion Branch all have Cadillacs to go along with their respective Super Bowl MVP award honors. And pictured above is last year's World Series MVP, St. Louis Cardinals shortstop, David Eckstein, and his brand-spanking new Chevrolet Corvette. Afterwards, Eckstein admitted to not knowing how to drive a stick-shift, and that he gave it to his brother. He probably also couldn't reach the pedals either, but let's not go there.

But the thing is, David Eckstein played his ass off, and rightfully earned Most Valuable Player honors. And for that distinction, he was given a 2007 Z06 Corvette. A car that is, for the lack of a better term, fast as shit. All the Caddys the Super Bowl MVPs win are either also fast as shit, or at least relatively pimpin'.

With the way the World Series are going now, and the trends of marketing occurring in between innings, it is safe to say that there stands a good chance that the inevitable MVP of the 2007 World Series is going to win a 2008 Chevrolet Malibu.

A MALIBU. A Chevy FUCKING Malibu.

If I were a potential MVP candidate, and the series were already locked up, I would do something totally stupid like drop a pop fly, or lay down a sac bunt with two outs to totally blow my chances to win this car, just so I could avoid further IRS tax scrutiny. A Caddy, I'd love, a Corvette, would I never deny. But a Malibu? Just what is MLB trying to say?

So let's take a look at the possible Malibu winners here...

The Front Runner

J.D. Drew, RF
4/7, .571 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B

But Likely Winner

Manny Ramirez, LF
4/8, .500 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B

Candidate based on popularity

David Ortiz, DH
3/8, .375 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B (2)

Unlikely, but good stats

Julio Lugo, SS
3/7, .428 AVG, RBI

Very Likely because pitchers are eligible for this MVP

Josh Beckett, SP
7.0 IP, 1.29 ERA, 9 Ks

The Relief Pitcher who gets some huge clutch outs

Hideki Okajima, RP
2.1 IP, 0.00 ERA, 4 Ks, 1 Hold

The Closer always is considered

Jonathan Papelbon, RP-CL
1.1 IP, 0.00 ERA, 2 Ks, 1 Save

Out of all these guys, I couldn't see Manny Ramirez in a Malibu. David Ortiz couldn't fit into a Malibu, and Lugo would just lower it, put some mis-matched rims, body panels, and a huge exhaust on it. Drew and Beckett, being the good-ol' boys they really are, would probably give it to a cousin or something. Papelbon is just a plain weirdo, and could take it, but that pretty much leaves Okajima. He'd probably enjoy it, because it would cap off a relatively glowing rookie season, and since he's going to get shafted out of the Rookie of the Year honors by a teammate, it'd be nice for him to have something. That, and Japanese people are enamored by American shit - no doubt a Malibu would be the equivalent of drinking his first Budweiser.

But let's be realistic here - if America got to choose the MVP for the World Series, we all know who it's going to:

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez Jacoby Ellsbury.

For winning all of us fat out-of-shape sweat-hog motherfuckers a free Taco Bell taco.

Indians Wi--I mean, lose...

2007-10-22T01:32:00.001-05:00

Well, it was a good run for the Fighting Injuns, who despite it all, decided to outsource their talent into obliteration as what was up until tonight such a perfect game plan went awry. But deep down inside, I wasn't sure who I was rooting for, because there was a small, majority part of me that wanted to be a fair-weathered fan and have an excuse to wear my Boston Red Sox paraphenilia, despite my not-quite as glowing feelings for them since actually having gone to Boston, and having real Red Sox fans in my own backyard - just that mentality that it's good to be on the winning side, for a change... that is, until the Red Sox get p0wned by the Colorado Rockies, and their pretty much flawless attack from every aspect of the game. But anyway, since the ride is now over, here it is...

Eventually, when I get back from Las Vegas, I will go on and post the "What should've been" images for the remaining for victories that the Cleveland Indians will not have.

It's been a good run, and I'm kind of sad to see it end. If the Rockies win, I will be content that such a Cinderella story came to fruition, but at this point, I kind of really don't care.

Atlanta's future WNBA team

2007-10-17T14:21:00.001-05:00

As much as I hate to interrupt the march of the Indians, but this cannot wait.

Apparently, the City of Atlanta is in line to receive a WNBA team, since you all know, the WNBA still exists and occurs each summer, apparently. But anyway, someone on the Atlanta-area Craig's List put up an open question to the people:

What should Atlanta's WNBA team be named?

See for yourself. Who knows how long that link will remain valid, seeing as it's on Craig's List...

Indians Win! SIX down, five to go

2007-10-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

All morning long, the media said "Red Sox lose." No mention of "Cleveland wins," or "Colorado Rockies advance to first World Series ever." Often, I say that I dislike sports media, despite the fact that I would give a kidney to be able to get paid to write about sports all day long. But websites like si.com, which I might add is housed in Atlanta, Georgia, all seem to have this fascination with the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and New York Mets. And Barry Bonds. No credit to those who deserve it. Like the Colorado Rockies. And the Cleveland Indians... whom speaking of which:

Tim Wakefield took it up the butt, and now the Cleveland Indians are on the brink of the World Series. Rest up while Beckett pounds them in Game 5, and then rape Schilling en route to the Series.

FOX's "pitcher-cam" or whatever the fuck they call it sucks. The grainy, slow-mo, slightly delayed "cinematic" look, and then boom, back to real-time bullshit has got to stop. I know closeups of the pitcher's face prior to the pitch is good for building suspense and shows possibly anxiety, but with the cinematic cam, it's plain gay.

Anyway - SIX wins down, five to go.

Indians Win! FIVE down, six to go

2007-10-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

When it comes to baseball on the grandest stage of them all, meaning playoffs, in Major League Baseball, there is something that international players lack. I had a bad feeling for Boston fans knowing that Daisuke Matsuzaka was taking the mound for the Red Sox, since he hasn't been pitching that well. Not just recently, but throughout the whole year - the Matsuzaka that owned everyone in the World Baseball Classic while representing his home country of Japan didn't seem to make it to America at the start of this season. But there are more words to be had on that topic another time, because for the time being...

That's right, bitches. The win parade keeps on marching. The Injuns need to march into Colorado and plant a big-ass casino and international IT-call center en route to owning the Rockies.

FIVE wins down, six more to go. Nuggas.

Indians Win! FOUR down, seven to go

2007-10-14T00:33:00.000-05:00

Holy shit that was a long game. I knew when Gagne took the mound that something was going to happen - it was like Boston did everything they could to avoid having to use this weak link. I also knew that Schilling was running his mouth again, and that when the day was over, the probability of him sucking was higher than him being Mr. October again. Anyway, without further ado...

Five hours and 15 minutes, and the Indians scoring seven runs in the top of the 11th, the final three being outsourced the shit out of Fenway Park. What a crazy fucking game.

Four wins down, seven to go.

Indians Win! THREE down, eight to go

2007-10-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

Indians Win!
Indians Win!
Indians Win!
Indians Win!

THREE wins down, eight more to go.

Indians Win! TWO down, nine to go

2007-10-05T23:24:00.001-05:00

Believe me, I've already got all eleven of these ready to go.

Two wins down, nine more to go.

Indians Win! One Down, Ten to Go

2007-10-05T07:13:00.001-05:00

When it comes to watching sports, if you are to actually enjoy yourself, there has to be something to root for. That being said, with the baseball playoffs now underway, and my Atlanta Braves nowhere in the picture, I've pretty much decided who I want to win each divisional series, and whom I want to ultimately win it entirely. So far, so good.

I have decided that I am rooting for the Cleveland Indians to win it all, for one reason, and one reason only.

To be able to post politically-incorrect, misunderstood, demographic-ignorant, shoddily photoshopped pictures of the Cleveland Indians with each win... or elimination... for my own amusement, and for the amusement of those who know my demented humor, and get it themselves.

One win down, ten more to go.

The Inevitable Changes in Modern Sports

2007-10-03T07:47:00.000-05:00

In the novel, For the Love of the Game, protagonist Billy Chapel is essentially an old school player living in the modern era. He loves the game, and the thought of playing for a team other than the one he played for his entire career is one that has never really crossed his mind throughout his tenure in the big leagues. He is paid generously, but there is speculation that throughout his career, a large amount of money has been left on the table due to his earnest willingness to continue playing for his team, and simplicity in negotiating the financial aspect of doing his job. Never any agents, and always with a handshake with the owner of the team. Even the owner himself has questioned Chapel's lack of argument when it came to the financial aspect. To Chapel, he's paid well; more than enough to live a comfortable lifestyle, and it's while getting to do what he loves most - play baseball.

Even with the most marginal of talent, the minimum salaries in professional sports at the major level are more than enough for a person to comfortably live off of, with minimal maintenance. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that it's financially irresponsible to own a Hummer, Maserati, Lamborghini, and a Benz, when one can do just fine with a top-end Lexus. But I'm getting beside the point, which is that the modern sports era is one that is purely tainted by money, greed, and luxury, and I often question where the love of the game has simply gone?

Sports fans of any sport nowadays will endure the feeling of change, when a player moves elsewhere, for whatever reasons, most typically, financially. I think it's certainly more frequently than back when our parents and their parents watched sports - back then, there were more Billy Chapels, and less agents, and a seemingly better understanding that get paid to play sports was more of a privilege than a right. Sometimes, the changes are understandable, sometimes they don't really bother us, because it's a player from a team that we might be indifferent to. Lots of times, change occurs with the teams that we religiously follow, which hurts the most. Always though, change takes some time to let sink in, because it's going to be a little strange.

Cases in point -

• Ken Griffey, Jr. departs from the Seattle Mariners, and goes to the Cincinnati Reds. How accustomed did we all grow seeing Junior in the green and navy blue of the Mariners, to see him don the red and white of the Reds? I didn't even really follow baseball much back then, and I was like, wtf?

• Allen Iverson traded from the Philadelphia 76ers to the Denver Nuggets. Iverson grew up in Virginia, played college ball at Georgetown, and went pro to the 76ers. For his entire career to that point, his entire life was spent in the chunk of the Atlantic coast, mostly making his name at Georgetown. Even when he went to the 76ers, there was always a sense of pride in this guy that at first, liked it there, because he was "close to home," referring to Washington/Virginia. And now he's out in fucking Colorado, because he's now a douche who couldn't get along with management. Just because it happened in one place doesn't mean it'll never happen again. I wouldn't be surprised to see him have to move again in his career. Regardless though, black-red-white Iverson was a staple of the game - but now we're subject to the light blue-gold-white of the Nuggets, and that's just.. weird.

• Mike Mussina goes to the Yankees. Because Peter Angelos is a stingy jew, Mussina does what most players with good talent do - accept Yankee money, and then put on Yankee pinstripes. This, saddened me, because I have glowing memories of the 1997 ALCS, where the scientific Mussina struck out fifteen Cleveland Indians, in an extra-innings heartbreaker. With him gone, and the inevitable retirement of Cal Ripken, Jr., I would never have any reason to like the Orioles ever again.

• Drew Bledsoe throws up his arms and goes to Buffalo. Bledsoe was the Patriots, long before Tom Brady showed up and started spreading his seed everywhere, impregnating all the hot womens. Bledsoe has to have had one of the most ironic careers in sports history, starting with the fact that during his tenure with the Patriots, they were never really bad, and once good enough to go all the way to the Superbowl in 1996. He got his ring in 2001, but that was after his injury, and Brady stepped to the plate, and Drew had to earn it on someone else's coat tails. Naturally, sensing the directional change of the team, he goes to the Bills, and in his first game with the Bills, he leads them to a humiliating blowout win over his former team. Unfortunately, that would be the highlight of his career with the Bills, as they proceeded to pretty much lose every game after that, and then he went to Dallas where he did shit there too.

• Pedro Martinez leaves the Boston Red Sox, and goes to the New York Mets. To me, this is probably the biggest move that I can think of currently. Pedro WAS Boston. Throughout the 90s, and into the 2000s, when anyone mentioned the Red Sox, the guy synonymous with the team was Pedro, quite possibly the greatest pitcher of the 90s. The city of Boston had reason to celebrate every five days in the summer, aptly described as "Pedro Martinez Day." In 2004, the Red Sox got their shit together, and actually won it all. Promptly afterwards, Pedro balks at Boston's generous 4-year deal, and accepts the equivalently generous 5-year deal from the Mets. The red, the B, of the Red Sox no more. Instead, he donned the blue and orange, sometimes pinstriped, and always ugly blue baseball glove of the Mets. Now that was weird.

There are far other examples, and I don't count the ones that contain players well past their prime, like Patrick Ewing going to the Sonics and then the Magic, or Hakeem Olajuwon going to the fucking Raptors.

**

Now what I'm getting to is the recent news that the Atlanta Braves have decided to not deal with Nazi-agent Scott Boras, and therefore allowing Andruw Jones to cut ties from the one organization he's been playing with for his twelve-year career. Basically, unless Andruw comes back with just his dad and no Boras, and says he'll play for Atlanta for the rest of his career for half of what he's initially looking for, there's a 99% chance that Andruw Jones is done for with the Atlanta Braves.

There are times where the guy has infuriated me, especially this season. I marched out of Fenway Park after Andruw Jones struck out for the fifth time against Papelbon, drunkenly screaming to everyone that "if you want Andruw Jones so bad you can fucking keep him I don't want him coming back to Atlanta with me". I cursed his existence when he pulled a Jose Vidro, and grounded into a double play to end the game at Shea, against an evidently struggling Billy Wagner. The constant rally-killing strikeouts, the poor body language. At times, I hated Andruw Jones.

But as the season began winding down, and Mark Teixiera started heating up, it was Andruw Jones, quietly improving his numbers from the seven-spot. Realization sunk in that Andruw Jones' Atlanta career was slowly, and quietly dying. I thought back to 2005, when Andruw cranked out 51 home runs, and how amazing he was. 2007 was no question, a fluke in his career, and he will be back very soon, with another 35 homer, 120 RBI season.

Unfortunately, it will probably in all likelihood not be for the Atlanta Braves.

In 2005, I remember logging onto SI.com, and seeing a picture of Pedro Martinez wearing a Mets jersey, and hat, while smiling brightly for the camera. I grimaced, and did the "OJ Simpson on Trial" face at that sight. I dread the day I go onto SI.com, and see a picture of Andruw Jones wearing someone else's jersey.

But it's going to happen.

And that makes me sad.

Goodbye Summer

2007-10-02T06:33:00.000-05:00

At 12:17 a.m. EST, this morning, whether or not Matt Holliday touched home plate or not, the Colorado Rockies beat the San Diego Padres in the bottom of the 13th inning, in the rare edition of the 163rd game of the season, to take the last and final place in the playoffs as the National League's Wild Card. All I have to say is that despite my general indifference towards either of the two teams, I was pulling for the Padres to pull it out, and needless to say, I was disappointed. But not for long. This was just a game that anyone could tell the Rockies just wanted more, and in a battle of attrition, the home team usually pulls it out.

This game was in every sense of the word, beautiful.

Two teams that played their hearts out and left absolutely everything on the field. It really doesn't matter what the Rockies do from this point, because there is little they can do except win the World Series that can reach this level this season. Neither team gave up at any time of the game, and when the game finally reached it's end, it had a little bit of everything, just enough to make this one of the greatest games ever played.

• Blood
• Sweat
• Tears
• Constant ties
• Blown saves
• A grand slam
• Controversial calls
• Extra innings

There were so many great individual performances last night, and my mind is still scrambling, trying to remember them all. The guy that stands out the most to me would have to be Padres reliever, Heath Bell, whom with his 2.2 innings of work would just not cave in, and threw some ballsy pitches to some of the best hitters all year, and when he sat down, had struck out five. He epitomized the raw emotion and desire to win, even if it meant shouldering the burden, and this was clearly evident, when he struck out Holliday to end the inning, and for an entire second, the only thing that could be heard was this triumphant roar from Bell. On a night where, and as Joe Morgan was quick to point out... several times... but on a night when Jake Peavy wasn't quite Jake Peavy, Bell sure as hell came out of the bullpen, and did his best impression for 2.2 innings.

Speaking of Peavy, the guy just didn't have his stuff last night. I can't say it was nerves, because the mark of a good pitcher is how they settle down and put the clamps down onto the other team, but all night long, Peavy had difficulty finding the strike zone, and his pitches lacked the bite and late-movement that I had seen him punish the Braves with on several occasions. The fact that he went 118 pitches in over six innings may have hurt the Padres, with his inability to preserve the lead at any given time. He has probably in already won the National League's Cy Young since he's the triple-crown pitcher and his accomplishments are not to be dismissed by any means, but if there was ever a game that he needed to be even 80%, yesterday was it.

Matt Holliday, I was hoping would have gone 0-5, so that Chipper Jones could win the batting title. But to ask of that from someone whom is having an MVP-caliber season is pretty much riding on hopes and dreams. I think he went 2-4 or 2-5 or something, with possibly two BBs, but the bottom line is that with his MVP-caliber performance last night, he secured both the batting title, the RBI title, and if not for the fact that award balloting ended two days ago, he probably would've won National League MVP. The triple in the bottom of the 13th was heart-wrenching, and despite the questionability of the game-winning slide that shouldn't have been game-winning, it was only putting off the inevitable; the Rockies would've probably won that game in the 15th, 16th, or 18th for all we know - I just see it as doing me a favor and letting me go to sleep.

Mike Cameron - can we say that this guy has balls, or can we say that this guy, or maybe it's Bud Black, is just stupid? Who knows. All I know is that I'd never seen a man look so miserable in his entire life until I'd seen Cameron sitting on the bench, watching as Clark made three bad plays in center field that Cameron would have made look easy. And it was evidently too much for him to handle, as injured hand or not, he came in to pinch-run, and then to play his rightful position for two innings. I know the guy is entering free-agency, and he wants to show off, but one bad defensive play, and he could've seriously messed himself up.

When Jorge Julio came out in the top of the 13th, I silently rejoiced, but dared say nothing - I'd seen this guy wildly pitch away in Florida to know that he was a ticking time bomb, and that this amount of pressure would've been crippling to a weak-minded guy like him. All was justified, when he gave up the two-run jack to Hariston, and I was on my feet. I almost found it humorous when the guy to clean up his mess was none other than Ramon Ortiz, a former Nationals starter whom I was used to seeing get victimized, by like everyone. Miraculously, he managed to get out of the inning without letting more damage through.

A funny feeling came over me when we reached the bottom of the 13th inning. No, not from TBS camera crew constantly focusing on the hot blonde in the front row behind the Rockies' on-deck circle (bless them), but one of those funny gut-feelings that something just isn't quite right. The greatest closer of all time, Trevor Hoffman taking the mound in the bottom of the 13th, to attempt to close out the Rockies and clinch the final playoff spot for the Padres. The Rockies, sending the top of their order to eliminate the defecit and keep the game going. Something inside of me, and I said this at 12:02 a.m., 15 minutes prior to the winning run coming in, that "with Matt Holliday, anything is possible."

Bell, Brocail, Thatcher - all these guys did one hell of a job last night, keeping the Rockies off the scoreboards. They all also do something else - throw heat. Anywhere from 92-96 mph, these guys had Rockies batters off balance and unable to catch up to their fastballs when thrown.

I like Trevor Hoffman, and I will declare him the best closer ever, unless Mariano Rivera can take the all-time saves title from him, which doesn't seem likely anymore. But if there's one thing Hoffman doesn't do anymore now, is what all his prior bullpen mates did do - throw heat. His fastball tops at around 86-88 mph, and his changeup struggles to find the strike zone at around 75 mph. After dealing with flame throwers, this was the perfect velocity for Rockies hitters to see softballs coming down the pipe. Not Tim Wakefield slow, but not Joel Zumaya fast. Perfect speed.

I saw this coming when Kaz doubled to start the inning, and then all of a sudden, I knew right then and there that this game was over, and it was just a matter of time when. I figured Tulowitzki was going to bunt or something to get Kaz over, but he instead batted him in, and the Holliday batted him in immediately afterwards. Hoffman was maybe a little fatigued, from having been warmed up three times prior to actually pitching, but I can't fault Bud Black for going to the all-times saves leader, for just one more.

And then the rest was history. I laughed at Carroll's post game ignorance:

"IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO GO CELEBRATE"
"Well, there's someone hurt over there"
"WHO?????"
"...Matt Holliday. The guy you just batted in. The guy who just won the game for you"
"OH I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED"

I laughed my ass off at this one. Was he serious? Was Carroll on such a high, that he couldn't even remember who he just batted in for the winning run?

After four hours and 40 minutes, the last game of the season ended, and therefore, summer has officlaly ended. In terms of pure baseball, there wasn't anything much better than the 163rd game. Both teams left everything out on the field, and the Rockies weren't just the only winners last night, we as baseball fans won, too.

The rare Game #163

2007-10-01T07:47:00.001-05:00

Summer is not over yet. Baseball will push the sun up one more time, and give us one more day of regular season baseball. Tomorrow is the real first day of Autumn, as after tonight, the final game of the season will be played, and the state for the playoffs will be set.

But tonight, we as baseball fans, get to witness something that hasn't been seen in the better part of a decade - Game 163.

For one night only, Jake Peavy will take the mound, and the visiting San Diego Padres march into Coors Field in Colorado to take on Matt Holliday, Todd Helton, Troy Tulowitzki, and the rest of the upstart Rockies, where everything, is on the line.

Padres vs. Rockies. Think about it, that doesn't sound like a game any of us would watch, unless we're a die-hard Padres fan, or a die-hard Rockies fan. Unless there are absolutely no other games being played in DirecTV's MLB package, I wouldn't think about sitting down to watch this one. Not even if it were Peavy/Maddux vs. Jeff Francis or something marquee.

But tonight's match-up is something special. For one of these teams tonight, this is the last game of the season. The winner is the National League Wild Card, and is guaranteed three more games, and more if they can ride this wave longer. The loser will probably suffer the worst defeat possible - on the cusp, the bubble, right on the edge - of a chance at the post-season, only to fall short. And then a winter of questions will begin:

• What if Trevor Hoffman didn't blow the save against ______?
• If Holliday's warning-track hit were in Colorado instead of Philly, wouldn't it have gone out?
• Why did we get Michael Barrett??

On any other given night throughout the summer, I wouldn't care about this game. Personally, I have my own reasons for watching this game tonight, and I intend to be in front of my television at 7:35 EST to see this.

• Probable NL Cy Young winner Jake Peavy vs. Probable NL MVP Matt Holliday who also happens to be the current batting champion. Peavy wins tonight, he gets 20 wins, a perfect compliment to the AL's Josh Beckett. But in order to get that win, I would ideally like him to 0-fer Holliday, whom with a theoretical 0-4 or 0-5 performance tonight, would solidify Atlanta's Chipper Jones as the batting champion for 2007. Yes, regardless of the award balloting goes, the votes are already in, contrary to what MLB.com wants you to believe. But in terms of statistics, Game 163 IS a regular-season game, and yes, these stats DO count.

• TBS is broadcasting this game - yesterday marked the final Braves broadcast on TBS, which was kind of a melancholy thing for me. I don't agree with the direction of the station, and they're doing everything to eliminate the past from the present from me, the dismissal of WCW pro-wrestling, and now the killing-off of Atlanta Braves baseball. They're even changing the channel number, from the "Channel 17" most people have grown accustomed to throughout the last three decades. Furthermore, with the killing of Braves on TBS, but the beginning of Postseason on TBS, I am curious to get a preview of the new crew - from what I know, it is Chip Caray and Cal Ripken, Jr. among a cast of who-knows-else. Like 'em or hate 'em, tonight's the night to get a sample of what we're going to be hearing for the next two weeks.

• It's Game 163. When was the last time we saw one? 1999? This is it, if there was ever one game to watch where two teams are going to leave it all out on the field, that is tonight. It's a playoff game, and yet it isn't. Tonight, loser goes home, and winner takes all. But winner taking all still means they have received nothing at all, except for a chance.

God, baseball is a wonderful thing.

Free Agency, and the inevitable death of sports

2007-09-24T08:08:00.000-05:00

Often, I interact with the folks at Talking Chop, which is an Atlanta Braves blog slash community. All throughout the year, and more so recently, has been the discussion of Andruw Jones' imminent departure from Atlanta. It seems inevitable that he is as good as gone, because his agent is the "evil" Scott Boras, he of Alex Rodriguez get-eth the $225 million contract, and also he of the Chan Ho Park get-eth the $65 million contract.

And in the same vein as all of his clients, Andruw Jones is following in similar footsteps, by the things he is doing. He says he wants to stay in ______. Atlanta, in Jones' case. He has shed weight. He's even on occasion started swiping bases again, a skill he seemingly forgot in 2001. And Andruw Jones is having a monstrous season.

Or at least, he's been trying to.

Batting a scorching .221, with 134 whiffs, somehow he still has 26 homers, and 92 RBIs. Aside from the average, the numbers aren't that horrendous, but for a guy like Jones who has been averaging much better throughout the last few years, this season has more or less been a fluke of a bust. Everyone knows his intent to have a great season, but the numbers, do not always tell the story. I can't even begin to recall how many times he has struck out, hit into double plays, or single-handedly killed rallies and ended games with poor performance.

In a trip to Boston earlier this year, I watched Andruw Jones strike out to tend the game with the bases loaded against Jonathan Papelbon, after Jeff Francoeur and Matt Diaz got two-out singles against the flame throwing closer, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia showed some rookie balls by drawing a run-scoring walk. Andruw Jones went 0-5 that day, with a total of five strikeouts.

In a pivotal game against the Mets at Shea Stadium, Chipper Jones victimized the Mets by hitting a 9th inning double off of Billy Wagner. Francoeur singled, and pinch-hitting Chris Woodward capitalized on a sac-bunt situation and drew a walk to load the bases. With one out, and down a run, a sac-fly would tie the game, and a single would've likely taken the lead. Andruw Jones promptly hits a ground ball right to Luis Castillo who 3-6-1, ends the game on a double play.

I could go on with this, but I don't want to drag on - I would've posted this on Talking Chop, but I was afraid that people would get tired of reading.

So the bottom line is that Andruw Jones, teamed with Scott Boras wants money, and regardless of the fluke season, will probably get money. Which has everyone asking, "Just how much money does he need?"

It's easy for us "commoners" to ask such a question, for the most part, we're all working-class citizens who have mortgages/rent to pay, bills, car payments, and other tedious expenses. Older folks have children, and all of their expenses. Baseball games for us are a form of recreation, or a means to relax, or both. If we made Andruw Jones' 2006 $13.5 million salary for even one year, I'd hope that the majority of us would have the groundwork laid out for a long-term savings or investment plan.

Look at a professional athlete, from a couple steps back. The average pro athlete is like anywhere from 22-36. Baseball players, since they don't have to run suicides or ram into other players, and have the luxury of lasting longer, resulting in the Greg Madduxes and Roger Clemenses. And then we have the freaks like Julio Franco, but that's a different story. But the bottom line is that these grown men are playing games, that kids play for recreation and exercise. The only difference is that the grown men get paid to do it, where the kids do it for fun, and maybe bragging rights.

To a professional athlete, a lot of them, just haven't grown up - they've still got the mindset of a kid. Like Manny Ramirez. It's like they make $16 million, so they're going to spend $10 million of it, that year. Big-ass house, lots of cars they'll hardly drive, and tons of shit they really don't need. They develop a lifestyle, that if they were to suddenly not have it, it may as very well be fatal.

Agents know this, which is why they continue to evolve the concept of free agency, and pressure, and push teams into giving more money for services. They brainwash players into believing they're worth ludicrous amounts, and then they brainwash teams into believing they need the services of a certain player. Ultimately, they will be fall of professional sports, because professional sports are forgetting why they exist.

Yankee games are already financially impossible for a family of four to attend, because New York has to supplement Alex Rodriguez's salary. I learned this from the family of eleven that traveled to Baltimore to watch the Yankees, because even with the travel, food and lodging costs, it was still cheaper to watch them in Maryland instead of New York.

If they already haven't, kids aren't playing sports because they're fun, but they realize they're good at it, and potentially could make millions if they continue to be good at it through their twenties. To me, sports should never been seen as a way to a different life. That is what the brain is for.

When people stop playing sports for the love of their game, and solely for money, sports as we know it will officially be dead.

An open letter to the Atlanta Braves organization

2007-09-21T21:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Atlanta Braves staff and management,

I have accepted the fact that the mathematical chances for the Braves to advance into the playoffs are very slim, but regardless of the outcome, I have still purchased tickets to all remaining home games, and I plan on scheduling in the remaining regular season games into my schedule for the next week. Summer is not over until the regular season comes to an end. No matter what the outcome of the regular season is, I will remain a fan. That is something that should not be in question.

I would like to, however, offer some suggestions for next year. I hope that these suggestions are taken with some seriousness, and have some consideration taken towards them.

∙ Retire or burn, prohibit the use of the #49 for any player's jersey number. For some reason, the organization has been fixated on placing the number 49 on the unofficial designated "left-handed specialist" relief pitcher. Macay McBride started the season wearing that number, and upon his departure, each new southpaw reliever was adorned with that number. Allow me to be as blunt as possible with the following statement: Macay McBride stank. He was never really that good of a pitcher. Why Mr. Bobby Cox constantly gave him chances to improve yet fail is completely beyond myself, as well as other Atlanta Braves fans I have interacted with, but the more concerning fact is that every left-handed pitcher who came in to take his place has shown the same tendencies and incompetence that McBride had left impression-ed on the number. Wilfredo Ledezma, who was touted to have potential as both a reliever and a starter was received in the McBride transaction, but then he came to Atlanta and was incapable of doing any better than McBride did. Ultimately, Ledezma was part of a deal that included the more experienced, well-traveled Ron Mahay. He started off well, but seeing #49 on the back of his jersey continued to, for lack of a better term, give me indigestion every time I saw him pitch. And tonight, Mahay walked in the go-ahead run to the Milwaukee Brewers, on four straight pitches. If this is not a red flag for incompetence, I fear the future.

∙ Sever relations with relief pitcher Tyler Yates. He has been given many chances throughout the last two years, but I am afraid to say that his time is ultimately up. He is far too one-dimensional, and only has a fastball that tops out at an impressive 98 mph. Unfortunately, that is the only pitch he has, sans a mediocre slider, and a change-up that he cannot throw for strikes. Two relievers that have been recently around in Manny Acosta and Jose Ascanio have comparable velocity, as well as additional pitches in their repertoires, as well as stronger mental capacities. Yates has become unreliable, and lacks the stamina to continue pitching after July. I would suggest trading him for the popular Player-to-be-Named-Later.

∙ I do not wish for Bobby Cox to change, except for one thing - tune down the loyalty to his starting pitchers from 11 to perhaps 9, and when a starting pitcher is evidently struggling to record an out, to pull him. Tim Hudson perhaps should have 20 wins at this point in the season, if not for decisions that let him remain in the game too long. Pull him after the first single he gives up; especially in a one-run game. John Smoltz should probably have 2-3 additional wins as well, if not for the "one more inning" that Cox apparently milks of his starters. A bullpen was constructed in order for the starters to fall back onto.

I hope that my suggestions are well read and considered, and I am by no stretch of the imagination saying that I can run the Braves better than anyone currently on staff. But sometimes, an outside perspective is necessary to see things that those on the inside can't see so clearly.

Sincerely, a proud fan,
DH

Rule Two: Second Guessing is Dumb

2007-09-21T07:44:00.000-05:00

“The kick and the pitch, it is hit a long way to deep centerfield. Going back is the centerfield, and all he can do is turn and watch, I guess he shouldn’t have thrown that pitch.”

I guess he shouldn’t have either, but maybe he should have. Is it our job as baseball fans to second-guess every move a team makes? Bob Gibson hated the media to ask him what pitch he threw when he gave up a homerun. He felt that people just didn’t understand that sometimes good pitches get hit. Pitching is one of the most second guessed aspects of the game. The fans believe that their pitcher no matter who he is should be able to get the batter out no matter who he is, and if he doesn’t then the pitcher made a mistake. A better example of second guessing comes with managers, because most fans don’t care about every single pitch.

The most securitized moves a manager can make are the ones that affect his pitching staff. A manager can try and save his bullpen by sacrificing a starter by allowing him to go a couple innings too long, but this will result in a lot of second guessing. A manager can lift the pitcher because he trusts his bullpen, but if the new pitcher gets hit then that move will be wrong. There is really no way to win in these situations. The right move will always be the one the manager didn’t make.

If the philosophy behind the move is the right one and it doesn’t work out can we really criticize it? If a manager has a poor left handed batter coming up to bat against a left handed pitcher with runners at first and second and one out, and he lifts this batter for a right handed pinch hitter who is a much better hitter. Can we really say it was the wrong move if the batter grounds into a double play? We cannot. It was the right move to make. Every decision cannot be easy. If they were then it wouldn’t be a decision.

Second guessing is something that a lot of fans do. A day after a tough loss, where a move didn’t work out, take some time to listen to the common fan. They will question why a move was made or a pitcher threw a certain pitch or any number of other things. It is easy to see what should have been done from the future. The only thing we can do is examine the philosophy behind the moves, and if that is wrong then we should question the decision, but if it was a good move that just didn’t work out then it is just petty second guessing.

Winding down the great season

2007-09-20T06:54:00.000-05:00

Since the Atlanta Braves are pretty much all but completely mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, my season is just about almost over. Even more so, the fact that home games left in Atlanta are left with today through Sunday, and then the last six on the road against the surging Phillies, and the Houston Astros, who I'm pretty certain, have not forgotten the C-blocking that the Braves gave to them at the end of last season.

Tonight marks John Smoltz statue night, and tomorrow is the final evening game at Turner Field. Saturday has been flexed to be broadcast on FOX, likely because the Braves aren't completely eliminated from contention, and the Brewers are still very well in the mix of the NL Central; for lack of a better term, it's probably one of the only appealing matchups between two teams who have everything to lose. Sunday is the final home game at Turner Field for this season, and then it's off to Philly and Houston to wind it all down.

If I attend all four games, that will push my overall game attendance to 38 games on the season. What makes me proud is the fact that nine of those were not home games, but expanding my horizons to parks outside of Atlanta.

• Safeco Field, in Seattle
• Fenway Park, in Boston
• Citizens Bank Park, in Philadelphia
• The Diamond (Richmond Braves), in Richmond
• Camden Yards, in Baltimore
• Rogers Centre, in Toronto
• RFK Stadium, x3, in Washington DC

And speaking of Washington DC; fairly recently, and fairly quietly, the Nationals won and have since left behind win #63. What does this mean? For all of the people, media, sports "broadcasters," who believed that the 2007 Washington Nationals were the worst team in the history of baseball, and were without a shadow of a doubt going to lose over 120 games, shattering the Mets' record, well, they're all fucking wrong. There are times in which it felt like the only people in this country who didn't believe that the Nationals could at least hold off 100 losses were myself and my co-writer.

I mean, seriously - it takes a severe lack of talent to lose 100 games. "Severe lack of talent" could easily describe teams like the Devil Rays, but even now they have guys like Carl Crawford, Delmon Young, Scott Kazmir, and Al Reyes who have gotten to the point where they could lose all their remaining games and still barely not touch 100 losses (but that would put them at 99). The Nationals have talent, whether it is yet to be fully tapped (Ryan Zimmerman), or was always there but forgotten to the public (Dmitri Young). Their farm system is full of potential, and has shown glimpses of it from guys like John Lannan. They shrugged off Mike Bacsik's fanboy dream to be in the histories of baseball when he gave up Barry Bonds' 756th, and despite the hoopla behind it - the Nationals still won that game. The worst team in history wouldn't have done that, and it would've instead prompted Frank Robinson to come out of his ground-level retirement home, look up to the skies, and say "can't no niggas play dis got-damn game???"

I love being right sometimes.

OH, and speaking of which, as of today, the New York Yankees as are 1.5 games behind in the AL East divisional race. The same people who said the Nationals were destined for 121 losses, were usually the same ones who declared the Yankees dead, and the Red Sox already the World Series champions. And just as they were wrong about the Nationals, they were wrong to declare that the Yankees were a dead team, and that their reign of nine consecutive division titles was about to end. The biggest mistake any of those people said was a mathematical equasion, stating how well the Yankees needed to play to remain in the hunt for October (which was like a 76% winning percentage or something). And apparently the Yankees read that article, and not only have they been playing 76% ball, they're playing more like 88% ball. And now they're thinking, fuck the Wild Card, let's take what's rightfully ours.

I'm not a Yankees fan, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do like to think that I'm an intelligent fan, and if there's one thing I've learned in my limited experience, is that it's never smart to bet against the Yankees. They did it in 2005, when Boston collapsed, and the Yankees literally stole the division out from under them on the second-to-last day of the season. Seriously, they finished with identical records, but the Yankees won the season series. Why should this year be any different? The Red Sox are no better than being able to be called the Atlanta Braves of the AL - they do well all the time, but really only have one championship to show for it - they collapse often in the playoffs just as much; the only real differences is that they are in Boston and have boatloads more money in their budget.

So yeah, the Yankees have taken their once 14.5 GB deficit, and sliced it to 1.5, with plenty of time to take the division. Ortiz is gimpy, Dice-K's out of gas, Schilling would rather blog, and Manny is still being Manny. Meanwhile, A-Rod is still slugging, Posada is quietly having one of the best years of his career, Yankee relievers are getting starters rest, and Pettitte is being, well, once again, Pettitte. To refer back to 2005 again, the White Sox let their once gargantuan lead slip to one game to the Indians - and then they mauled their last few opponents, and then swept the Indians, gave them malaria, forced them off their land, and then ate their lunch, to end the regular season, and then lost like, once, while their starting pitching threw like ten complete games, en route to the World Series championship.

Baseball is baseball - anything can happen. It's unwise for anyone to label anyone prematurely, because you never know what's going to happen next. Boston can respond like a rabid pitbull, or they can go down swinging like a tasteless Michael Vick joke.

Did I mention how much I love being right?

The First Rule Broken

2007-08-31T07:49:00.000-05:00

I wonder sometimes if sportswriters are paying attention. I wonder if the lesser ones just take the words their idols wrote before the season, look at the standings, and then make up pointless lists. Our latest Nats bashing comes from Larry Dobrow of cbssportsline.com. Larry decided that a list of the best and worst organizations in baseball had to be made, and that he was the man for the job. His bottom four is Texas, Washington, Baltimore, and Pittsburgh. Well three out of four ain’t bad, but the inclusion of Washington is just plain silly. If somehow this were the same ownership group that ran the team that was in Montreal, and the first two seasons in Washington then he has a point. But since the team was sold and now has some of the best minds in baseball running the show Larry misses the mark. Let’s look at what Larry has to say about the Nationals and then tear it apart and show why he just isn’t very smart.

This situation should be nigh-impossible to screw up: great sports market aching for a winner, shiny new stadium about to open, well-heeled ownership group. And yet can't-sit-still GM Jim Bowden feels the need to keep scrapheap finds like Ronnie Belliard and Dmitri Young around for ... what, really? Making quick work of the postgame buffet? Simply indefensible.

I can defend it, and if it can be defended then it is not indefensible. Ronnie Belliard might be one of the best utility infielders around, so really why not keep him if you can. Belliard is signed for a relatively low salary and most likely will be the back up infielder next year. When he was in that role briefly in the beginning of the season he delivered many key pinch hits to either start or end game winning rallies. As for Dmitri Young, does no one pay attention to the batting title anymore? Is having a career .295 batter filling in for the forever injured Nick Johnson or coming of the bench really a bad thing? Also why does he feel the need to make fun of them for their weight? He calls them scrapheap finds, and then bashes keeping them. I have a table sitting beside my chair at home that someone was going to throw away. I use it as a place to keep my remotes and sit my drink on when I am eating dinner or watching TV. It serves a good purpose and was a nice find. If it actually were junk it wouldn’t be a find. Also take a second to compare the stats of Ronnie Belliard and Josh Barfield and then ask an Indians fan who they want at second.

This team should've been riding the player-development bandwagon from the first day they arrived, as a shell of a franchise, in D.C. A few 75-win seasons might be good for morale, but they're getting in the way of a bunch of 95-win ones down the road.

Now he takes the time to bash the team by laying out Stan Kasten’s plan. He lays out the team’s plan in order to bash the team. In whose mind does this make sense? He also mentions the first day they arrived. I am sorry to disappoint him, but that wasn’t the same ownership group. That ownership group and team president Tony Taveras is the reason that it is a shell of a franchise. Since the new owners have taken over they have been riding the player development bandwagon. They have spent large amounts of money to hire the best scouts, they have had two excellent drafts, and they are signing key veterans that can help the young players adjust to life in the majors. My main question really is did this guy do any research before he decided to rip a team. He rips them for signing two bench players acting like these are the only moves that will happen between now and next year, and then he lays out Stan Kasten’s plan as the way they should be moving. So his argument is pretty much, “They are doing what I think they should be doing, but I didn’t bother to research anything, and Keith Law and Ken Rosenthal says they are bad so I will say they are bad.”

The First Rule of being a Baseball Aficionado

2007-08-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

My co-writer and I recently decided that we have a deeper knowledge than the typical fan. This is probably true since we focus primarily on baseball and believe football to be an inferior sport. we also take time to read many articles and books on the sport in order to expand our knowledge. Every fan in baseball needs to understand the game more than fans in other sports, but they don’t always understand every move a manager or team executive makes. While we know we aren’t smart enough to make these moves we can see the logic behind them. Therefore the first rule of being a baseball aficionado is to understand that you don’t know more than the people running baseball teams.

I am convinced that this is one of the main problems with today’s sports media. Guys like John Heyman or Ken Rosenthal believe what they think is the only way to think. That if they think a team should make a move and then they don’t they can’t understand the logic behind it. John Heyman didn’t understand why the Nationals would resign Dmitri Young. The answer is probably that they know something he doesn’t. He doesn’t have a working knowledge of the trades that were discussed or the medical reports on Nick Johnson. Jon Heyman also doesn’t know how Dmitri is with his teammates, but because Jon Heyman has an opinion on Dmitri Young as an out of shape, over the hill player he then thinks it is a bad move. Jon Heyman believes his opinions to be facts, and that if he ran a team they would be the greatest thing ever.

Normal fans may be smart, but they sometimes outsmart themselves. Prospects are nice, but they aren’t everything. Earlier this season the Braves traded Jarrod Saltalamacchia for Mark Teixeira, and now that the Braves are on a cold streak some fans are concerned about the move. They are part of the culture were anything new is exciting. Even though the Braves have a young catcher in Brian McCann some fans want to see the hot new thing stick around. The logic behind the move is correct. You trade from a strength to fill a weakness. The Braves needed a good slugging first baseman and they got it in Teixeira. What the Braves didn’t need was another young catcher that would be better off getting to play instead of sitting on the bench behind another young catcher. These fans made the error of assuming they knew more about baseball than the people running the team.

Looking at the past there are many moves that puzzled fans at first. The trade of Lou Brock to the Cardinals for 18 game winner Brogilio confused the media and the fans. The fans felt that Brogilio was an established star and that the Cardinals were trading for an outfielder that would never be any good. As time went on Lou Brock became a force to be reckoned with on the bases and at the plate as well as a good defensive outfielder. As for Brogilio, not much was heard from him after them. At the time of the trade some in the media called it one of the worst trades ever. They were right, but not for the reasons they thought. Bing Devine knew more about running a baseball team than sportswriters, but they assumed that they were in fact the ones with the deeper knowledge.

Knowing your limits is important in any area in life. Knowing that there will always be someone smarter, and knowing that there is always more to learn is the first step to learning. If one presumes they know everything then they will not seek further knowledge. In order to be a baseball aficionado one must first know that there is still more to be learned, and the ones that know what we desire to learn are the ones that get to run the teams.

A Beautiful Sickness

2007-08-29T11:14:00.000-05:00

Jose Reyes might be the best player in the NL east. He is one of the best players this season, and he might even be one of the best ever when it is all said and done. But when I see Jose Reyes walk to the plate I feel sick. A dreadful fear grips me deep in the pit of my stomach. I know that something great is about to happen, and I am not going to like it. They need a new stat for Jose Reyes. Earlier this season I saw a bloop hit drop just between the second baseman and the right fielder, and somehow Jose Reyes made it to second base. That wasn’t slugging. It was pure speed and instincts. The ball was picked up as soon as it hit the ground, but Reyes was already half way to second base. The way that ball was hit it had no right to be a double, but Reyes made it happen.

If Jose Reyes makes it to first he might as well already be on second, and if he is on second he might as well already be on third. He seemingly takes bases at will, and very well could be the first player in a long time to steal 100 bases. Jose Reyes is an amazing athlete. Even though he can single handedly manufacture a run to crush my team’s hopes, I still enjoy watching him play. He is one of the best of this generation, and we should all, as baseball fans, be pleased we get to witness it. Every move he makes is a crushing blow to the hopes of our teams winning, but every move he makes is also another move into legend.

Reyes isn’t just an offensive force either. Any ball hit between second and third could very well end up in Reyes glove, and his arm is good enough to make a throw from anywhere on the field. He moves with an effortless grace that no human has any right to move with. He can dive to his left, right, come in quickly, and run back on balls better than anyone.

I look forward to watching him play, but yet I hate it. Reyes scores runs and takes runs away from any team he plays. He could have succeeded at any sport in the world. Imagine Reyes running down the sidelines, streaking away from a defensive back, and reaching up to catch a 50 yard touchdown pass. Imagine him driving through the lane, leaping between two defenders, and rolling the ball into the basket. Imagine as he dribbles a soccer ball, switches it from the left to the right foot, and then curves it neatly beyond the goalies reach. Jose Reyes is a symbol of what is right with sports. He is the type of athlete we spend our money to watch, even if we are spending it to watch him beat our favorite team.

Brandon Webb is not unhittable; everyone just thinks he is.

2007-08-18T23:17:00.000-05:00

When a massive amount of exposure it put onto a single player, regardless of any sport, two things can happen.

In most cases, it creates what we all like to call "a curse," where this newfound exposure creates an opposite effect to the type of exposure it was given.

Example: in 2005, Jeff Francoeur came up and batted like .million and hit four homers instantaneously after being called up. Sports Illustrated jumped all over this, put him on the cover, labeled him "The Natural," (a la this year's Rick Ankiel) and then Frenchy came back to earth. Had he been called up sooner, I'm sure his averages would've dipped beneath .300 and his homers wouldn't have looked that impressive.

But in a rare few instances, the player who receives positive exposure will feel their confidence rise, and in turn their abilities will rise. I believe Webb is one of these instances. Not only does he feel confident that he is a good pitcher, all of the players in the league who have also seen this exposure now have this gnat-sized piece of doubt in the back of their mind that the next time they face Webb, they might just get dominated. With this kind of intimidation on his side, Webb's already won half the battle before even throwing the first pitch. Pitchers who win Cy Youngs are never the same pitchers again - you'll very rarely see them get completely annihilated barring hidden injuries, or the coming of age.

I do not mean to de-value Webb's abilities, but let's face it - Skip Caray, Bobby Cox, all the players on both teams, anyone who remotely follows baseball; we all know what's coming. A sinker in some sort of fashion; Caray called it best - "Everything webb throws has some sink to it." And that is not an exaggeration! He delivers his change-ups at a higher angle so that they still fall into the strike zone, and his fastballs that look like they're coming straight down the pipe will all sink and miss the strike zone...but since none the Braves are willing to be a little patient, they'd never notice this.

Naturally, this negative tirade, is the result of a frustrating loss. Sometimes I get tired of seeing Atlanta being made into examples, or being a red carpet for another player or team onto something interesting. Hearing that Webb now has four more complete games than the entire Atlanta pitching staff is kind of irritating, and I texted and IMed everyone i could to let them know that Webb was throwing a potential no-no, just to try to induce one of those "jinxes," which seemed to work when Kelly Johnson blooped a hail mary into no-man's land to get on base.

So let's just hope that Atlanta can blow out the D-Backs the next two nights, so everyone can talk about Arizona's embarrassing run-differential some more instead.

EDIT: Just got back from the second Arizona/Atlanta game. I thought I said let's have Arizona get blown out, not Atlanta... Micah Owings, the pitcher, hits two homers, and the Braves just pretty much stink up the joint, to the point where nobody cheered for damn near anything. Nights, stretches like this, are what make it frustrating to be a sports fan.

I need something to make me laugh.

That'll do.

I hate to say "I told you so..."

2007-08-13T07:05:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to talk about the Braves' recent sucking against the Philadelphia Phillies, or how retarded Alfonseca looks like whenever he celebrates a strikeout.

I'm not going to talk about how tired I'm getting of ESPN picking up Braves games (read: late-games) whenever they're not picking up the Red Sox vs. Yankees.

But speaking of the Red Sox...

Their lead is now down to 4 games.

Every sportswriter, their mothers, their best friends for whom they ghost-contribute to their own putrid sports blogs lay the Yankees out to waste when their lead dipped to like 50 games behind Boston. Sports Illustrated, ESPN, Fox Sports, every major media outlet had claimed that the Yankees were done for. Sometimes I feel like I was the only person in the world who, despite not being a Yankees fan, was still the only person outside of New York to not count out the Yankees. Ever since Jeter gave it to us mathematically how they had to play, it just turns out that the rest of the team responded, and has been playing that way.

Yes, the Braves have won 14 straight division titles, which seems like a record that'll never be broken. But the Yankees are up to nine, and this season is not over yet. The Red Sox and Yankees still have to play several more times, and each time the Yankees win, that'll be an entire game in the standings. Sportswriters seem to have forgotten that just two years ago, Boston seemed to be cruising to a division title, until the Yankees literally snuck in and took it from them the day before the regular season ended.

There's nothing strange about how sports are - the world prematurely buries a perennial-good team during a slow start, said team is alleviated of the pressures of success. With the lack of pressure, the players play looser, more relaxed. A more relaxed, loose team has a tendency to win. It's happened in all sports, not just baseball.

And if people don't realize this, and keep the pressure on Boston to hold off the Yankees, instead of pressuring the Yankees to win #10 in a row, Yankee Stadium is going to have yet another banner in their rafters for their dominance in the Inferior League.

Sports and Bipolarity

2007-08-08T21:03:00.001-05:00

No more Macay McBride. +1
No more Wilfredo Ledezma. +1
No more Craig Wilson. +1
No more Mark Redman. +1

Tanyon Sturtze on the DL. 0
Mike Gonzalez on the DL. -1
Willy Aybar on the DL. 0
Edgar Renteria now on the DL. -2

In comes Mark Teixiera. +2
In comes Ron Mahay. +1
In comes Heath Bell. +1
In comes Octavio Dotel. +1

Yes, it's subjective, but the way I see it, throughout the duration of the season, the Atlanta Braves have improved by about nine imaginary points over a neutral, imaginary ranking. The loss of Gonzalez and Renteria has put a noticeable hole in both the bullpen, as well as the lineup. But with the influx of all this new talent at the trade deadline, all I have to ask is this:

Why aren't the Atlanta Braves winning more?

Obviously, I'm writing this after watching Andruw Jones ground into a game-ending double-play, after the Braves had the bases loaded with ZERO OUTS. Of all the players in the world, Jeff Francoeur couldn't make magic happen, but hey, everyone's human. Naturally, there will be points in this season where I will gladly give birth to Andruw Jones' illegitimate child, but for the time being: Fuck Andruw Jones. Him and his achy elbow can sit on the DL and watch his gigantic paycheck diminish, sinking faster than his batting average. The Braves shouldn't have lost this game. At least not in regulation. I would've been satisfied if they could at least make Billy Wagner blow a save before blowing the game, but dependable Andruw generated a worst-case scenario for the eleventy-billionth time this season.

Which brings me to the question I just asked; why aren't the Braves winning more? After hitting three homers in his first three games, Mark Teixiera was relatively a non-factor against both Colorado and now against the Mets. Mahay couldn't get a single ball into the strike-zone against Damion Easley tonight, and blew the lead for Smoltz, who gutted it out and stayed in it long enough, even though we could all tell he didn't have his best stuff tonight. Anyone watching could see the anxiety in Smoltz's eyes when Bobby came to make the pitching change. It's like he knew that this was a night where a save would be blown, and essentially the game would be lost. Smoltz is like god or something, heed his word, and let him get out of the inning himself. Soriano continues to give up homers as often as Andruw Jones generates easy outs, and Dotel has been just as inconsistent. It's only a matter of time before Soriano is put on the DL for sucking, but have the team say something like "pinky tendinitis," or in Josh Beckett's case, an *expletive* blister. Maybe I haven't been watching enough, but has Heath Bell even gotten to pitch yet? That massive AL-pitcher type who looks like he's tipping over while he pitches? Where the fuck has he been?

So in conclusion, despite the fact that the Braves are supposedly now World Series contenders, in reality, they're really still just floating around in mediocrity. There is this weird triangular diagram with a bulb on each point, that the Braves operate on, and the bulbs represent the offense, starting pitching, and bullpen. At any given time, there are always two lights on... but never all three. The hitting will be hot, and the starting pitching will be awesome, but Soriano will somehow start sucking, and Wickman won't be able to close a game outside of Atlanta. Or like when Kyle Davies wouldn't be able to get out of an inning, but Villarreal and Moylan pitch a combined six innings and bail the team out. Or when Tim Hudson pitches 7.2 innings, and the bullpen holds the other team at bay, the offense decides that every hit must be a home run, and they go 1-2-3 in every fucking inning, and inevitably lose the game 3-0. Despite the influx of all this new talent, this operational diagram has not changed.

The Mets are prime for the taking with no Beltran, and Delgado unable to hit any splitters, and Wright chasing slides into the dugouts. They figure out Oliver Perez, but then give up game-winning home runs to Mr. Piss-Hands, Moises Alou of all people.

Being a sports fan is frustrating, as many people can attest to. When the days are over, I'd rather go through such emotional roller coasters over not having baseball at all, But just for one night, it's just a little bit worse, for one Braves fan.

What to do with Those Predictions

2007-08-06T10:24:00.000-05:00

If by some chance you are a professional sports journalist and you happen to stumble upon this I would like to give you some advice. We all know you had to pick someone to finish last, and the Nationals seemed like as good a pick as any. Remember this next year though when you damn one team as having a possibility to be historically bad. With each victory the Nationals inch closer to winning 62 games and not losing 100 we know you cringe. We knew your predictions were wrong from the start. We knew the Nationals had no chance to lose 130, 120, or 115 games. Some of us even doubted they would lose 100, and now it is looking like they won’t.

As a sports journalist I know your editors handed down an edict that you had to bash the Nationals every chance you got. Buster Olney said they would lose 130, Ken Rosenthal said the front office was a mess as they dared fired people they didn’t hire, and Jon Heyman thinks the players are fat and the front office should trade their best players. Look at how many good teams went about building by getting hitters and a couple starters but forgot the bullpen (sorry Cleveland fans). The Nationals obviously have noticed the trend of teams with good relief pitching winning.

As a sports journalist I know your job isn’t to pay attention to pesky things like trends within the game. I also know you can’t judge a player on what they might do unless they play for the Yankees or Red Sox. While everyone else still realized J.D. Drew wouldn’t change. For some reason to you he seemed like a god in a Red Sox jersey.

If it is true what you claim that the Nationals still have no starters and no one on the team can hit then shouldn’t Manny Acta be a lock for manager of the year? The Nationals current rotation is three rookies and two career minor leaguers. Of course Tim Redding is more of a reclamation project, but don’t let pesky things like his surgery and other teams not giving him a chance get in the way of running down the Nats. The Nationals are still a building team and aren’t likely to be very good next year, but remember when you make your predictions just because you have never heard of someone doesn’t mean they aren’t any good.

Trade Deadline Theatrics

2007-08-01T07:48:00.000-05:00

The trade deadline is over now, and by now, everyone pretty much knows everyone who was traded to whomever, and it's safe to say that the Atlanta Braves made the biggest impact move of the season by acquiring Mark Teixeira for five players, including Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Screw Eric Gagné and the Red Sox, he is overrated and injury prone, and hopefully he will not injure himself throwing fastballs at a trash bag again. Optimism returns to this travel-weary baseball fan.

As a Braves fan, the most important trade of the season occured two months ago, when Atlanta shipped off the worthless Macay McBBride away. It didn't matter that we got the less-worthless Wilfredo Ledezma in return, because we shipped his less-worthless ass off away yesterday regardless, the fact of the matter is that Macay McBBride was and now still is someone else's problem.

If anyone thinks Detroit's going all the way, better look no further than that gaping left-handed hole in the bullpen. The inferior league is going to be represented by Anaheim, folks.

Definition: The Watermelon Sox

2007-07-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

A lot of people love the Boston Red Sox. Regardless of if they're from Boston or not. They have an underdog complex, and regardless of the fact that the Red Sox have exorcised such demons and won it all back in 2004, there are legitimately a lot of fucking fans. I think they're alright, but their fans can be a little annoying. I wouldn't mind people in Atlanta being a little more loyal to the home team.

But today, what I'm going to discuss is the birth of the Watermelon Sox.

Boston, this season is a pretty good team, with decent pitching, a less suspect bullpen, and the usual slugging from Manny Ortez and company, including the impressive emergency of MLB's version of Sam Cassell, meaning the ugliest player in the league - Kevin Youkilis. But winning ways aside, the unfortunate passing of Red Auerbach made the Red Sox decide to honor him earlier in April.

So for an evening, the Boston Red Sox donned green jerseys to tribute the Celtics legend. To make things better, they defeated the Yankees in a come-from-behind, against Mariano Rivera. The jersey is now apparently a permanent item in the Wal-Mart sized Official Red Sox Merchandise store - players who didn't even participate in that particular game, Tim Wakefield, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Jonathan Papelbon, etc, have their names and numbers emblazoned on Celtic green on jerseys for sale.

But let's be frank here - the gesture was touching, but in actuality, it was pretty goofy looking.

My co-writer said it the best when he declared that the Red Sox looked like a bunch of watermelons. I thought about it for a second, and seconded that thought, when I was reminded of chunks of Bubbalicious gum, fresh out of their wrappers.

Look at Jason Varitek here - Navy blue helmet, green jersey, white pants, red knock-socks. Black cleats. Now I'm no fashion genius by any stretch of the imagination, but man, is that a whole lot of colors to be put together in one package.

I wonder what is going to happen when some big figure from the Boston Bruins die one day. I wonder if Varitek is going to have to mix in some yellow into the rainbow of colors he's already wearing.

Definition: The FOX Pitcher

2007-07-19T13:04:00.000-05:00

Every few weekends throughout the Major League season, FOX picks up a few games, some nationally televised, some more regional. And they get the All-Star game, as well as the majority of the MLB playoffs, and the World Series.

Despite the fact that baseball is a sport that can really only be broadcast in one way, all local and national markets show the game with their own little twists. Some add wider camera angles, some shoot so that only the pitcher, and those in the batter's circle are visible, really zoomed in tightly.

ESPN films in a fashion that finds a compromised point where the pitcher and batter are roughly in a square, dead center on the screen. The viewer will hear the words "Nationwide K-zone" about every 40 seconds. Also, ESPN plagues the viewers with commercials that plug "The Bronx is Burning" or other repeated ads that often go on too long, often resulting in the game coming back with the first few pitches already being thrown, or whenever Matt Diaz is leading off the inning, with one out already.

Here in Atlanta, we have the luxury of being broadcast on three different networks throughout the season, not including the occasional ESPN and FOX nods. SportSouth, FSN South, and TBS - their styles are pretty much the same, as there is few twists to the otherwise "uniform" way of broadcasting baseball.

But the FOX Network, not only do they have the intense, emotional commentary of Joe Buck, they are also notorious for a camera habit that I like to call...

The FOX Pitcher.

For reasons unknown, FOX cameras, prior to every single pitch, make sure to zoom in as much as possible to the head of the pitcher. It does not matter if it is a star like John Smoltz, or a middle reliever like Joel Piñero, if they're pitching, you learn what they look like, very quickly. And it's not always flattering... like when a guy like Kelvim Escobar is pitching, and you can tell that he really wants to blow his nose after the inning, or how he could make a few extra bucks endorsing Proactiv®.

Why they do this, I have no idea. I suspect that perhaps by showing the pitcher's face, people can try to read into their emotions and what they might thinking. It might actually add to the drama of the game, especially if it's tight, and the crowd is going apeshit. Who knows?

I'm bored at work, and no piece of writing is complete without some visual evidence. So without further ado, I'm going to talk about FOX Pitchers: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good - it's not that they're really that good, or handsome or anything, they're just not... well, bad or hideously ugly.

Tom Glavine's steely stare, and seemingly concrete face. Watching this man pitch makes me wonder if he's got a mask on, because his facial expression doesn't change throughout an entire game. Jonathan Papelbon, and his super-high-energy-intensity stare while reading signs from Varitek. And JJ Putz, after seeing him in action during the All-Star Game, even though he was on the brink of a BS, watching his slow, methodical routine of bending over for the cameras and staring at the ground, before slowly drawing his head upward with a homicidal stare to read the signs from Johjima. Now that I think about it, it's normally closers who have this kind of need for gimmicks (Like Chad Cordero and his flat-bill cap, but FOX would never show the Nationals unless they were in contention), perhaps it helps them get some sort of mental advantage - when trying to get through a high-pressure situation, I imagine any sort of advantage is beneficial, whether it is physical or mental.

The Bad - they're not good, but they're not quite disgusting.

Greg Maddux is one of my all-time favorite pitchers of all time, and I will cheer for him no matter who he plays for. I would favor him over Roger Clemens any day of the week. But let's be honest here, he's not exactly the best looking guy in the world, and looks downright silly when photographed in the midst of a pitch. When FOX cameras zoom into his face, you see a droopy, almost jowly face of a legend who is more concerned about getting you to slap a come-backer to his glove than what he looks like in the mirror. K-Rod and his Steve Urkel-like looks, and his Reggie Jackson-like glasses. If not for the fact that he is a damn good closer, I don't know what this guy's got going for him outside of baseball. And we have Dan Haren, who like most of the Oakland A's, looks like a dirty stoner, or a caveman in a uniform.

The Ugly - watching these guys on your screen makes it harder to watch the game.

Watching Game 5 of last year's World Series was rough - not because of the tightness of the game, and my lack of confidence that Jeff Weaver would get out of another inning, but of the constant close-ups of his face in between EVERY. SINGLE. PITCH. His eyesight has obviously deteriorated with age (as has his skill, seeing his record with Seattle now), but his mangey hair, creepy, pedophile stubble... let me know when Fernando Rodney stops committing errors and the Cards are up to bat, because I'm getting sick of Weaver's face. Kenny Rogers makes the best face while pitching ever. It's not pretty, he gets the job done regardless, but I can't help but laughing whenever I see his face go from FOX injected intensity, to this face from the time his feet are on the rubber to throw. Last, and certainly least, we have 'Ol Boomer, David Wells. The man has never been pretty to look at, and watching his left arm have to go around his massive gut en route to a lollipop curve is never a pretty sight. But he has a Perfect Game on his resume, and none of these other jabronis on the list can say so.

I love playoff baseball, but FOX can do without the constant closeups of every single pitcher. And considering the probable playoff teams for this year, Kelvim Escobar can hopefully work something out with Proactiv®.

the all-star game sucks

2007-07-10T23:09:00.000-05:00

never send a phillie to do a real ballplayer's job.

the NL will never win as long as representatives from teams like the phillies, diamondbacks and pirates are obligated to have representatives. the inferior league was smart - meche, jenks, and most importantly, the middle reliever voted-in as the "last in line all-star" okajima did not pitch.

la russa on the other hand used the pity vote chris young, a mediocre #2 starter with inflated stats to blow the game, and then guys like billy wagner who can't throw anything outside of the fucking middle of the plate clinches it.

amazingly cubs players pull the NL back, before a phillie ruins the excitement.

and la russa selfishly rests his star who only had to get a single base-hit to keep the game going. pujols wouldn't even have to try to run to first if he got a clean hit, homer or not. a base hit would have resulted in either a tie or the win, but la russa fucked that up.

A Great Mystery Solved

2007-07-06T07:40:00.000-05:00

I mean no offense to people from Chicago with what I am about to write. Being a Nationals fan and someone who cheers for the hometown team no matter what I can somewhat relate to Cubs fans from Chicago. Of course Wrigley Field is also full of yuppies that care nothing for the game and just want to sit around and throw trash on the field. I guess a lot of Cubs fans throw themselves on the field.

Some teams just travel well. The Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals, and Mets always bring their fans, but those teams win. The Cubs haven’t won anything that anyone can remember. The last time they made it to the playoffs they lost because their second baseman couldn’t pick up a routine grounder. Don’t even try given me that crap about Bartman. I don’t understand how one foul ball that still had to be caught by stone hands Alou can lead to an eight run inning. The Cubs just don’t win, and they don’t win in funny fashion. They are a comedy to all baseball fans that are not Cubs fans. So it has always confused me as to why someone would bandwagon with the Cubs. Why would someone choose to be a loser?

I can understand wanting to follow a winning team, but choosing to be a Cubs fan is like choosing to be a Devil Rays fan, or have a root canal without anesthesia. It just never made much sense until I attended three games against the Cubs this week. I saw many people who should be eating chicken heads at the local fair all wearing Cubbies blue. So the only possible answer is bandwagon Cubs fans are born losers. They are just used to losing. It is what they do. Instead of being a poser and cheering for the Yankees or some other team that has won the World Series in anyone’s lifetime they don’t hide their identity. They are just losers.

The funniest conversation I heard was between a bandwagon Red Sox fan and a bandwagon Cubs fun discussing the amount of fans in the stadium. The Cubs fan was trying to figure out the percentage of Cubs to Nationals fans, and the Red Sox fan claimed there were more Red Sox fans in RFK than Nationals fan. There is always someone in every building in the world wearing a Red Sox hat. So the fact that this guy saw another one must mean there are most than those that came to cheer for the Nationals. Quick math here before I get to what the Cubs fan decided was the ratio of Cubs to Nats fans. The Nationals have 15,000 season ticket holds and last nights attendance was 22,000. 7,000 of the people were not season ticket holders. It is from this 7,000 were the Cubs fans were most likely to come from. The Cubs fan claimed that it was 60% Cubs fans at RFK. This of course is not possible, and I would say it was more like 20%. But Cubs fans are born losers and can’t count.

Conflict of Allegiances

2007-05-17T15:11:00.000-05:00

Bobby Cox does it again, and leaves a tiring starting pitcher in, one inning too many. Chuck James struggles to get out of the sixth inning, and watches his lead disintegrate and vanish when Chad Paronto raises his hand and accepts the role as "currently unreliable Braves relief pitcher."

A pitcher must know when they fuck up, when Dmitri Young is able to score from first base.

Anyway, this weekend, I am going out to Boston for some fun, food, and of course baseball. I paid a ludicrous amount, but I have tickets to Sunday's game at the hallowed grounds of Fenway Park, as my Atlanta Braves take on the Inferior League's Boston Red Sox for a three-game series.

The game I will be going to will be Tim Hudson vs. Tim Wakefield, which will be an interesting match-up - Andruw Jones, provided he sheds his coat of sucktitude and stop striking out like Adam Dunn blindfolded, can actually have the chance to steal some bases against the slow pitching knuckleballer. Hudson, will hopefully perform brilliantly, and then it will be a lull every time Wakefield takes the mound.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get tickets to the highly anticipated John Smoltz vs. Daisuke Matsuzaka matchup on Saturday - I'd put my money on Dice-K, since as is the usual MO, Young-Unproven Pitcher vs. John Smoltz usually results in a loss for the future Hall of Famer.

However, the biggest problem with this weekend is that the Yankees will be playing the Mets. I dislike both teams, and although the answer is quite simple, I don't like it regardlessly. I will have to pull for the Yankees, so that they can help the Braves regain the top spot in the NL East. Unfortunately, the way those teams are playing, I forsee Jose Reyes having a field day with the Yankees, and the Mets taking that series winning at least two of the three games.

As for the Braves, I'm hoping for a 2/3 series win, seeing as how Friday's game is a toss up in the air, with the Lerew vs. Player-to-be-Named-Later/Cash matchup, Smoltz likely losing Saturday, and Hudson hopefully getting the win on Sunday, but all in all, I'm more looking forward to actually being at Fenway Park.

But with the way Andruw Jones is playing, the Braves will probably get swept. Here's how I would put the batting order to help teach Andruw how to earn his money again:

1. K. Johnson
2. W. Harris
3. E. Renteria
4. C. Jones
5. B. McCann
6. J. Francoeur
7. A. Jones
8. S. Thorman
9. Pitcher
DH (for Interleague): J. Saltalamacchia

Chris Broussard is an idiot

2007-05-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

I was at the gym, running on the treadmill, watching SportsCenter as is the norm, while I am at the gym. "The Fag," Jay Mariotti was having a one-on-one chat with some nobody whose name I occasionally recognize on the ESPN website, Chris Broussard.

They're "discussing" the recent incidents involving King Gravy Train AKA Robert Horry hip checking Steve Nash, and the subsequent suspensions of Horry, Stoudemire and Boris Diaw. Same shit, different voices, Horry did it deliberately, Nash sold it like he was hit with the foreign object, and so forth.

But then out of nowhere, Broussard pulls the one card that had absolutely no involvement whatsoever in this argument.

The Race Card.

Obviously, the suspension of three black players is the NBA's way of oppressing black basketball players. Who shouldn't be playing in the white man's NBA Playoffs.

The last time I checked, Bruce Bowen, Shawn Marion, Michael Finley, James Jones, among the many others riding the pine are all black men.

Who are not suspended.

Who will be playing in the next game.

Oh yeah, Horry's hip check has everything to do with race.

Chris Broussard, go fuck yourself, you racist piece of shit.

Moneyball is Overrated

2007-05-16T14:08:00.000-05:00

Billy Beane might be the hero to many bloggers and sportswriters, but he isn’t to me. The main theory of moneyball is that defense and speed don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if a base runner goes station to station just as long as he has a good OBP. It also doesn’t matter that he can’t field his position and has 20 errors a year. The theory is that errors, stolen bases, and good defensive plays don’t make as much of a difference over the course of a season as getting on base and extra base hits. Extra base hits and high OBP are nice, and the moneyball theory has been proven right over the course of a season. But the goal of sports is to win a championship. Something moneyball has never done.

The flaw in the theory is that while over the course of a regular season stolen bases, errors, and good defensive plays don’t matter, in the post-season they can change a game. The post-post season is about winning one game at a time and ultimately a series. One great defensive play can give a team momentum that can be carried into the next game and for the rest of the series. In the post-season a team doesn’t face a number 5 starter, and they rarely face a number 4. When facing the best pitching in the league scoring runs is at a premium. One of the best ways is to manufacture a run, something moneyball is against. If a guy hits a lead-off double late in a 1-1 game the next hitter should be bunting, if the lead-off guy gets on base by a walk or single he should try and steal, and the hitters need to give themselves up to get the run in. Of course a three run homer is better than a sac fly, but how many three run homers do you think Johan Santana is going to give up?

So until the A’s get some rings on their fingers then moneyball is a failure, and those who practice it, fools.

Chris Reitsma's cousins are dorks

2007-05-15T21:05:00.000-05:00

So this past weekend, I made a trip out to Seattle, Washington for a weekend of some fun with friends, in a city that I've never been to before. Naturally, being the manly, baseball-loving man that I am, I prearranged an evening for my two friends and I to take an evening out to Safeco Field, to watch some Seattle Mariners baseball. Luck would have it, they would be taking on the mighty New York Yankees that evening.

Despite the fact that I firmly believe that AL baseball is inferior to NL baseball, I can't discriminate in my ultimate goal to eventually make my way to every single major league ballpark in America. Besides, with Jose Vidro serving as the DH for the Mariners, it's not like they've got a premier bat to hit in place of the pitcher.

Safeco Field is a beautiful ballpark, with nice big seats, a huge variety of eateries, albeit a little exploitative towards their Asian audience, but with good Northwestern Red Hook brew, and a park specialty in their Garlic-Salt French Fries.

Matt DeSalvo vs. Miguel Batista - prior to the game, I had to give the nudge to Seattle's starter, against the untested rookie. And after the first inning, it looked like it would be a ball game, as Batista left the first unscathed, and the Mariners were only hindered by a double-play, by the King of GIDP, Jose Vidro. There is nobody to feel sorrier for than Suzuki Ichiro, because he always gets on base; Safeco made a good point to point out Ichiro's 42 consecutive steals, and the reason for that is simple - if Ichiro doesn't get of that first bag, then there's a high probability that Vidro is going to slap down one of his trademark GIDPs.

Anyway, I made the dubious mistake to seek food in the top of the 2nd inning, because it was then that Batista had a meltdown and allowed the Yankees to score five runs. He would allow two more runs, before being lifted for Eric O'Flaherty, who admirably pitched 4.2 innings of scoreless ball.

But the real story began in the bottom of the 8th inning, when the Mariners made another call to the bullpen. Out comes ...

Chris Reitsma.

Time out.

I am from Atlanta. I cheer for the Atlanta Braves. Two years ago, John Smoltz made the critical shift from dominant closer back to being a dominant starting pitcher. To fill the void that Smoltz left in the tail end of the bullpen, the Braves acquired seemingly effective former-Milwaukee closer, in Dan Kolb.

Well, that didn't last long.

Kolb(b) became notorious for walking the first batter he faced in every save situation, and subsequently blew 165 save opportunities in a 162-game season. By mid-season he had a major fallout with the Atlanta organization, and was pretty much kicked out. For the remainder of the 2005 season, the Braves put together a sloppy closer-by-committee, which was helmed by the unreliable Chris Reitsma. This forced the starters to go deeper into games, and forced the offense to provide enough run support to build a hefty cushion for the suspect bullpen to protect towards the ends of the games. By the time the season ended, trade-deadline acquisition Kyle Farnsworth proved to be reliable enough to go 10/10 on save chances in the remainder of the regular season. Ironically, it was Reitsma who led the team in saves with 15. As a whole, the team generated a paltry 38 saves. To put it in perspective, Washington Nationals closer, Chad Cordero put up 47 saves, by himself. In the end, Farnsworth proved to be crap, and gave up a grand-slam and a game-tying homer to the Houston Astros in that season's NLDS, who ended up winning in 18-innings off of a walk-off homerun from Joey Devine. The humiliation of sucking so much was obviously too much for Farnsworth who immediately bolted at the end of the year to become Mariano Rivera's jock-sniffer in the Inferior League.

So that left Chris Reitsma by default, for the closing duties in the 2006 season. That, didn't last long either, as he was inconsistent, unreliable, and I have vivid memories of him blowing a gigantic lead in Wrigley Field against the fucking Cubs. Yet another committee-bullpen arose, featuring losers such as Mike Remlinger, Ken Ray, Jorge Sosa, Chad Paronto, and Macay McBBride, to blow saves until Bob Wickman was acquired at the trade-deadline to actually bring some stability to the bullpen.

Resume Game.

So the bottom line is that Chris Reistma sucks. So Chris Reitsma is called out of the bullpen, and it takes me no time at all to start hurling the obscenities and taunts from the upper deck, since I'm sure he'll be able to hear me from 300 feet away. While I was jeering, there were four individuals that were cheering. Are they serious? Cheering for... Chris Reitsma?

Anyway, I kept up the insults, even as he let two base runners get on. Eventually, they looked back at me and attempted to get me to shut up. Why the hell should I?

"He's my cousin!"

Chris Reitsma's cousin.

I was cheering for the Mariners the entire game, but after hearing that, there was nothing more I wanted to see than to see a Yankee, ANY Yankee to tee off on Reitsma, just to prove a point. I jeered and taunted, until they asked me what my beef was with Reitsma - I spun my Braves cap around my head, so they could see the Atlanta A, and I yelled to them,

"I'm from ATLANTA - he's going to give up six home runs!!"

And to this, they had no more response. Apparently, they realize that I have a first-hand memory to his total sucktitude, and they had no more argument - they made some comment about how I was drunk (far from it), and turned their backs to me and proceeded to attempt to concentrate on the game, while I began to hurl my insults towards them instead.

"If you're his COUSIN, how come your seats suck so much???" I seriously thought player family got somewhat better seats than the upper deck.

"I see you're wearing his jersey!!!" They were wearing blank Seattle Mariners away jerseys with no names or numbers on it.

Unfortunately for me, despite allowing two base runners, Reitsma managed to get out of the inning, and surprisingly even striking out Alex Rodriguez to end the inning. The alleged cousins had no rebuttal, despite the free hits they earned by their so-called cousin getting out of the jam.

The rest of the game was relatively uneventful, but was redeemed in the end, when Mariano Rivera delivered the cutter to Jose Vidro who promptly grounded it to Derek Jeter who ended the game with the GIDP. Yankees win, 7-2.

Maddux vs. Smoltz

2007-05-10T07:11:00.000-05:00

When the 2007 schedule was released for the Atlanta Braves this year, I noticed the four-game series that San Diego was going to have in Atlanta. The first thought that popped into my head when I thought about all the games I planned on attending was that "I want to see Greg Maddux pitch." With four consecutive games, the probability of that happening looked to be great.

Last Friday, I attended the Braves game in which John Smoltz outpitch Brett Tomko, and the Braves took down the Dodgers. Later that evening tuning into SportsCenter, I noticed that Greg Maddux pitched in a losing effort against the Florida Marlins that same day. If both Smoltz and Maddux maintain their five-day rest period, they were going to collide on Wednesday.

It was announced pretty early on this past Monday that it would indeed be John Smoltz vs. Greg Maddux for Wednesday's game. I quickly hit up my connections to see if I could score some tickets for such a special matchup, and fortunately for me, one of them came through.

Match-ups like these don't come around very often. The history that these two pitchers have, along with the Mets' Tom Glavine is historic, especially to those in Atlanta. A World Series, seven Cy Youngs, countless wins, and sheer dominance. Whenever any two of them pair up in a pitcher's duel, it's never really just about team vs. team, it's about friends acting as rivals, in order to one-up the other, to get those all-important bragging rights amongst friends.

Every now and then, a pitcher can skip a day or go a day early in order to pitch on a desired day, but for the most part the scheduling, and the necessity of routine and resting make it harder and harder for that to happen. So it's extremely convenient that Smoltz and Maddux managed to get their matchup lined up as it did.

The game was everything as advertised. Turner Field, which rarely sells out, let alone draw close to it's 50,000 seating capacity was quite packed, even on a school-night for the still-in-session students. As Maddux has aged throughout the years, he has definitely lost a step or two, and on any given night, you might see the aged Maddux who gets rocked in the first-inning and doesn't last too long, or you could see glimpses of vintage Maddux who just precisely dismantles a lineup in the least amount of pitches necessary. As much as I admire Maddux and his accomplishments, I still had to root for the home team, so I was hoping that he would at least give up a run or two, to give me some hope.

Nope, that wasn't happening, at least not in the first. Or second, or third, as Maddux carved up the Braves lineup with typical bait-pitches to make them swing at some garbage on the next pitch that flings right back to his glove, or to Khalil Greene, whom with the rest of the San Diego Padres, I'm beginning to believe has one of the most underrated defenses in the majors.

To make matters worse, it appeared early on that Smoltz was going to drop this one to his senior, as he gave up two solo-homers in the second and third innings, to give Maddux a little cushion. Not only did he give up the homers, he gave up a single to Maddux himself, who in good nature jokingly showed off his balding head prior to pitching. And upon Maddux getting onto first, Turner Field erupted in a massive standing ovation for their former ace.

Fortunately for the Braves fans, Maddux apparently worked himself a little too hard, and the emotions of the day's events evidently begun to get to him in the sixth inning, as he was pulled after only 72 pitches in 5.2 innings pitched. Upon the slow walk to the bullpen, not a single butt was seated as Maddux received his second massive standing ovation, to which he even had to tip his cap towards. It was truly a thing of beauty.

The rest would be history - the Braves would rally against yet another so-called-by-ESPN "impenetrable" bullpen, and beat Cla Meredith like a dead horse, and take the lead in late innings. Mike Gonzalez and Rafael Soriano would slam the door on the Padres, and the game would be over.

John Smoltz gets the win, and Greg Maddux is fortunately left with the no-decision. Against the former Big Three members, Smoltz is now 3-0. Maybe, and I'm hoping that there will be another rematch out in San Diego, when the Braves venture out to Petco Park. Perhaps Maddux will tangle up with Glavine later on this year. And there's no question that Smoltz and Glavine will lock up again, maybe several more times later on this season.

Baseball is a team sport, but occasionally it goes back to being the game that we play with our friends.

The NBA's Marty Schottenheimer

2007-05-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

I wish I were on one of my Las Vegas trips last weekend. I think I'm the only person that called for the Houston Rockets losing the Utah Jazz, despite the fact that the home team has like this ridiculous 80% winning percentage. And there is one reason, and one reason alone that made me believe that Houston was going to lose.

Tracy McGrady.

He has become, basically, the Marty Schottenheimer of the NBA. Meaning, he just can't win in the post-season. Any team with McGrady on it is destined to lose in the NBA Playoffs.

I can't remember off the top of my head, but the furthest a McGrady team had ever advanced in the playoffs was I think the 2001 NBA Playoffs, when the Toronto Raptors went seven games with the eventual Eastern Conference Champion Philadelphia 76ers, but the argument from my end is that the team was hardly McGrady's - it was helmed by his more talented, more successful cousin, Vince Carter, whose 50 point explosion duel with Allen Iverson in the series was one of the most exciting scoring duels in post-season history.

Even when McGrady bitched his way out of Toronto and tried to be the second coming of Penny Hardaway in Orlando, he made it into the playoffs, and got bounced out by the Charlotte Hornets, 3-1.

The next year, and with the introduction of the best-of-seven in the first round, the Magic got a 3-1 series lead on the Detroit Pistons. They proceeded to choke the next three games, and allow the Pistons to go to the Eastern Conference Finals, or it could've been the year they won it all.

A few years ago, the Dallas Mavericks stormed their way into the post-season. Houston jumped all over them, and took a 3-1 series lead against them. Despite the fact that they only had to win one more game, they lost the next three, and losing the pivital game seven by FORTY POINTS. If that doesn't sound like having your heart ripped out and danced over, I don't know what does.

So it's pretty clear why I knew Houston was going to lose this year's opening round as well. When ESPN reporters asked McGrady if it was going to be the most important game of his life, and he responded "nah, I don't think so," I knew he was ready to lose. Not even retracting that statement three hours prior to tip off did little to put out the chances that an choke would be inevitable. The guy just lacks a killer instinct, or leadership skills to drive and inspire his teammates to want to actually destroy their opponents.

Dirk Nowitzki could possibly be capable of holding this title, but he's at least made it past the first round of the NBA Playoffs.

The NEW Greatest Upset in NBA History

2007-05-04T14:42:00.000-05:00

With king thug Stephen Jackson burying three-pointer after three-pointer, and Baron Davis having a Willis Reed-like performance, the 67-win Dallas Mavericks were sent packing in what is now being considered (and justifyably so, statistically) the GREATEST UPSET IN NBA HISTORY.

I haven't checked as I'm writing this, but I'm sure Mark Cuban spent all last night up writing a scathing blog entry or something about how he'll be back, and that his team will do better. Yes, they've gone from 57 to 60, to now 67 wins, but there really isn't much better without threatening the 1996 72-10 Chicago Bulls.

But I'm sure everyone's already heard all the stories about how Dirk Nowitzki is the equivalent of a modern Nick Anderson or John Starks, and how he will have to raise his game before the Mavs have any chance of ever succeeding, and how their window of opportunity is diminishing like the Chicago Bears'. So I won't bother to mention any of that any further, and instead share my own personal opinion of what a great upset really is.

The 1994 Denver Nuggets - the original GREATEST UPSET IN NBA HISTORY, entered the eighth seed of the Western Conference playoffs with a pedestrian 42-40 record, taking on the 64-18 Seattle SuperSonics. This was also back when the first round was a reasonable best-of-five series, instead of this best-of-seven, 40 games in 40 nights bullshit they do nowadays.

Seattle romps the Nugs in the first two games, and all signs point to a sweep. Realizing the lack of expectations, and the sudden alleviation of pressure, the Nuggets, led by Dikembe Mutombo and other stalwarts such as Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, Robert Pack, LaPhonso Ellis and Brian Williams obliterate the Sonics in game 3, and pull off an overtime win in game 4. Suddenly, all the pressure is on Seattle, with George Karl being seen on the bench sweating bullets off of his plasticky-looking head. Shawn Kemp (before being revealed to fathering 47 illegitimate children)), Gary Payton, Kendall Gill and Detlef Schrempf were ineffective, and Mutombo was proving to be a human shield to the basket, providing defense, reminscent of a 1984 Georgetown Patrick Ewing.

Game 5 was especially memorable when Robert Pack turned it up a notch in the fourth quarter, while Ellis and Williams provided solid contributions. Mutombo once again made it next to impossible to score in the paint, and he vaccuumed in every rebound in sight. And in what I thought was one of the single most memorable scenes in basketball history was when Mutombo snared down the final rebound, and clutched it tightly. For reasons unknown, Kemp tries to poke it out of his hands, despite the final buzzer sounding. Mutombo collapses onto his back, clutching the ball, with a sheer look of jubilance on his face. For the first time in the history of the NBA, the eighth seed had defeated the one seed.

They lost to the Jazz in the next round, but not before at least pushing them to seven games.

Because of the 1994 Denver Nuggets, whenever the NBA Playoffs come around and the commentators are expected to talk up the eighth seed, viewers will always hear about '94. In 1999, the New York Knicks defeated the Miami Heat from the eighth seed and even stretched their run into the NBA Finals, but it was also the lockout-shortened season, which soured most people's opinion of basketball that year anyway. Most of the time, #8 goes without much resistance, but because of '94, and eventually '99, every now and then, people can believe.

And now, because of three more wins by the 2007 Dallas Mavericks, their loss to the Golden State Warriors is considered the NEW greatest upset in NBA history. But let's not quite get ahead of ourselves here - the word "New," as any professional wrestling fan will know, when attached to an accomplished title, is the proverbial kiss of death.

I refuse to acknowledge the 2007 Warriors, a team partially anchored by Stephen Jackson, fan fighter, and unlicensed gun holder, shooting them at 3 a.m. in Indianapolis night club, as the greatest upset winners in history, when in 1994, a team defensively anchored by über-humanitarian Dikembe Mutombo, a man who is a living embodiment of the American Dream, who spent $27 million of his own money to build a hospital in the Congo and named it after his mother.

So let's cut the pretenses, let's cut the bullshit.

1994 Denver Nuggets > 2007 Golden State Warriors.

The REAL Greatest Upset in NBA History.

Getting younger?

2007-05-03T07:18:00.000-05:00

How beautiful is this? Every game doesn't seem like such a roller coaster when the game goes into the bullpen innings. Paronto and Yates build the bridge, to what I hate to call a "closer-by-committee," because both Gonzalez and Soriano are legit closer types who are going to be shuffled around based on scenario, instead of who is available. Watching last night's game, I felt, with each inning's beginning with a new pitcher on the mound, that the one-run lead would be safe. It was kind of strange, since this is the same team that last year, blew over 20 saves and cost John Smoltz a what would have been likely Cy Young award-winning season. But with each top half passing, the score remained unchanged, and Soriano earned his second save of the season.

In 2005, the Atlanta Braves got hit with the injury bug, HARD. Andruw jones led the team in games played (160, the last two were sat due to clinched division) and I think only Marcus Giles and Rafael Furcal were the only other position players to exceed 150 games in their own right. But the season was rescued by the emergence of a large contingency of young players who were brought up out of necessity, not choice. The production that came from these "kids" was not expected, and aside from the usual doubters, it seemed that the then 13-straight division title streak was going to come to an end.

Jeff Francoeur his a 3-run home run in his very first major league at-bat, propelling him to runner-up to the Rookie of the Year, some schlub known as Ryan Howard. Kyle Davies debuts on a cold rainy day in Fenway Park and limits the defending champion Boston Red Sox to 4 hits and 0 runs to get the win. Wilson Betemit shows some ballsy base-running and wins a crucial extra-inning game to shrink the magic number. Not only do the Braves not fall apart, they win their 14th-straight division title, where in the ensuing playoffs, Brian McCann cements his moment in history when he tees off on Roger Clemens, homering in his very first postseason at-bat. Media outlets are quick to jump on this one, gleefully pointing out the aspect that McCann was less than half of the Rocket's age. Despite the eventual loss, the mentioned names were only several of the large group of young talent to rise from the minors to help the Braves win yet another division title.

They were dubbed the Baby Braves.

This season, Scott Thorman has the dubious task of taking the product Adam LaRoche's place at first. Kelly Johnson is taking over at second, and the lead-off spot, neither of which he's done in his entire career. Macay McBBride has been inept. Mark Redman became the opposite of the late-90's Pedro Martinez - a guaranteed loss every five days. Closer Bob Wickman goes down with back problems. Brian McCann gets hit and then clubbed in same spot on the same hand, and is out temporarily. And to make things worse, his backup Brayan Peña is clubbed in the head by an overzealous strikeout swing. Willy Aybar's attendance and potential substance-abuse problems. Ryan Langerhans' slump leading the organization to essentially trade him for the equivalent of a pink slip - the notorious Player to be Named Later or CASH.

Macay McBBride was demoted to the minors where I hope he stays forever. In his place Steve Colyer has emerged and pitched out of the bullpen with the ability everyone hoped McBBride would have had. In Wickman's place, the Domincans have already each earned a save and any need for panic is not necessary. Thankfully, Mark Redman was demoted, and in his place, Kevin Barry, a young man who in his debut at Yankee Stadium last year showed genuine brilliance, when he held the Murderer's Row lineup scoreless in five-innings of long relief. A local kid, utilityman extraordinaire Willie Harris was brought in to take Langerhans's spot, as well as fill in anywhere else necessary. And last night was the debut of top catching/hitting prospect Jarrod Saltalamacchia, to take the place of McCann and Peña.

What players that were old, injured, slumping or just plain sucking, have all been replaced or held over by youthful talent. In Harris's three games, he has already outproduced Langerhans, noteably the go-ahead RBI, and a base-hit-stealing diving catch to prevent any potential tying-runs getting into scoring position. It was a special night for Salty, who was celebrating his 22nd birthday on his major-league debut, who unfortunately didn't get a hit, when his first at-bat was a towering shot to center that almost made it out, but didn't quite get out of the warning-track. He did get on base twice however, when he drew a walk, showing his good patience, and when Freddy Garcia plunked him to a rain of boos. The young Domincans did their jobs, as Gonzalez whiffed two in the 8th, including Ryan Howard, and Soriano nailed down the 9th, earning his second save of the season.

Most of these players are not as young as the original Baby Braves, some are from the original year, and some of these guys are going back down as soon as people come off the DL. But getting younger has never necessarily killed a team, and with the talent floating around the Braves organization, Atlanta is never far from another generation of Baby Braves to take over and thrive.

Mark Redman is the Worst Pitcher Ever

2007-05-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

Although my co-writer may disagree with me, but Mark Redman is the worst pitcher in the history of baseball. Acquired during Spring Training to take place for the almost-as-worthless Mike Hampton who is going to miss the entire 2007 season along with the 2006 season, as well as most of the 2005 season he missed too.

I was at first optimistic, as lots of wandering players have a tendency to develop a case of "surrounded by winner-itis" where when they land a spot on a team that actually has the potential to succeed, they rise their own game and actually look like they belong.

After getting annihilated by the Mets on the Braves' own home-opener, I thought he might have just had a rocky start. But then he got annihilated by the Marlins in his next appearance, and then he got beaten by the fucking Cubs of all teams, I came to my senses and realized that Mark Redman absolutely sucks. He managed to get out of Florida with a no-decision, but still blew two generous leads, before the bullpen saved his worthless ass.

I saw the match-up today, and saw that it would be Mark Redman pitching against Cole Hamels, the lefty who, despite having no wins against the Braves, has their number. If this doesn't spell the makings of a Braves loss, I don't know what does.

But of course, a typical stat-curse developed, and mention of this fact was broadcast all over the radio and television, and despite the fact that Hamels gave up four runs, including two Chipper homers, he pretty much dominated the Braves yet again. Congrats to Hamels for getting his first victory over the Braves, and to the rest of the Phillies for beating Atlanta for the first time in five tries this year. Hopefully this will not be a common occurrence.

I told myself that tonight's game was pretty much locked up as a loss, and that I should not be the least bit frustrated and upset when it inevitably happens, but that didn't work - I'm still irritated, and I felt the need to discuss the points about why Mark Redman sucks and is the worst pitcher ever.

Mark Redman is a poison to a pitching staff. Not only does he suck, he sucks so bad that he has to be relieved early in the game, putting a huge workload on the bullpen. Villarreal pitched multiple innings, as did Peter Moylan, and both will probably not pitch at all tomorrow if needed. He is ungrateful, and seems to think leads are cushions the size of Zimbabwe, and has shown the trust of a fat kid with cake in protecting them.

I thought about attending tonight's game, but once again, I saw the lineup, and opted not to. Two of the four home games I've attended thus far have been Redman starts, and both were humiliating losses. I can't take it anymore. Although, I was mildly amused by the way the Atlanta "faithful" stood and cheered when Bobby Cox came out in the 1.2-st inning to pull Redman, as I probably would have done the same, and probably threw some John Rocker batteries at him on his way out. Believe me, it probably would've been worth it.

I know it's kind of harsh, but with the ability he plays, he's not going to be in the majors for much longer. How the fuck he became an all-star last year is completely beyond me, but I can only imagine it has to do with the fact that every team is supposedly represented in the Mid-Summer classic, and since Mike Sweeney was hurt for most of 2006, a crappy pitcher who could be afforded to be given the Andruw Jones treatment (a DNP) was selected in him instead.

I went off my tangent there - I meant to say that I know that it's kind of harsh, but at his position, I hope he's contemplating suicide - I'm baffled at how much this guy sucks. I would rather pitch and all-bullpen game consisting of the following guys:

Bruce Chen
Mike Remlinger
Macay McBBride
Ray King
Chris Reitsma
Dan KolBB
Derrick Turnbow
Kyle Farnsworth
Brad Lidge facing Albert Pujols

At least maybe they'd be better at protecting a lead than Mark Redman throughout one inning.

John Heyman is a 14 year old Girl

2007-05-01T11:58:00.000-05:00

John Heyman of si.com continues in the running for world’s dumbest man. He apparently watched a Nationals game and this is what he had to say, “And by the way, after watching the Nats the other day, it looked like a couple of their players thought they were representing not the Nats but the Fats.” Is that all he noticed? That Dmitri Young and Ronnie Belliard aren’t the most in shape people. They are bench players who are only playing every day due to injury, but they are also stepping it up. Both have good batting averages and some clutch hitting. Heyman just doesn’t like the Nationals. In fact he hates them so much that this is all he noticed. If he did watch them in the last week he would have seen the starting pitchers pitching 32.33 innings with an ERA of 1.67. That is far above his doom and gloom predications. So since he can’t bash the starting pitching he has to go after the position players. Since they didn’t do enough wrong for him to bash them based on baseball he just calls them fat. John Heyman is an emo kid that can’t insult someone creatively. He has the brain of a 14 year old girl and I bet she was glad to get rid of it.

The Walk-off Phenomenon

2007-04-30T22:21:00.000-05:00

It's no secret to anyone in Atlanta, Andruw Jones wants a fat payout next year. He's earned it - nine consecutive Gold Glove awards, 91 homers in the past two seasons combined, and a 2005 season which saw him place second in the NL MVP balloting, losing to his lord our savior Pujols.

But it's very obvious he is trying way too hard thus far, as going into today's game, he had climbed barely above the Mendoza line, starting the season with 26 strikeouts already, on pace to set a career-high in K's at this rate. He knows that homers = $$$, and he's swinging for the fences at almost every at-bat. During Spring Training, he even showed up to camp 20 lbs. lighter, and even swiped a few bases during Spring games. He hasn't stolen any bases yet this year, but he hasn't been getting on base as much, for that matter. If all goes well, he will finish the year with another 40+ homers, 120+ RBI, .260+ batting average, maybe 10 steals, and a tenth Gold Glove. And then Scott Boras will become the Sultan of Spin once again, and somehow get a team like Boston to shell out $150 million for seven years.

Many Atlantans have already resigned to the fact that Andruw Jones is as good as gone by the end of this year, because the jewing of the organization since Uncle Ted sold to Time Warner which sold to Liberty Media has cut payroll every year since, and paying Andruw his "market-worth" is going to be like asking a homeless man to borrow twenty bucks. So we are all just hoping for an Alfonso Soriano-like surge of production to at least benefit the team for one good run while he's here, and then deal with the loss of his numbers when it comes next year.

At least we'll still have Smoltz.

But all of this being said, the lack of production, the blatant money-grubbing words of Boras coming out of Andruw's mouth, and the constant strikeouts, Andruw Jones showed why he will be severely missed if and when he leaves next season.

Bottom of the ninth, with the score knotted up at 2-2. Tim Hudson's emotional performance was once again null and void by the no-decision. Bob Wickman, as I suspected was hurt in some fashion, and was put on the DL, but no worries, because Mike Gonzalez pitched a perfect ninth. Two men get on base, and Antonio Alfonseca faces Andruw Jones.

I was actually just getting into my car at this moment, because superstitious me didn't want to watch the game and potentially see a Tim Hudson performance go to shit on me. But I turn onto the Bull, just in-time to hear:

"Here's the pitch, BELTED... AND.... THAT... BALL... IS... OUT OF HERE! Three-run WALK-OFF homer for ANDRUUUUW JONES!"

The walk-off home run. One of the greatest spectacles in baseball.

ESPN knows what we want, addendum

2007-04-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

In conjunction with what my co-writer had to say, I took this screen grab from Friday night to emphasize the brainwashing ESPN attempts to do to their out-of-market viewers who have to watch other teams they favor through their sometimes-effective GameCast feature.

As we can clearly see, the Boston Red Sox defeated the New York Yankees when Boston closer, Chad Cordero earned the save by getting Yankee switch-hitter, Carlos Beltran to pop out to the first baseman. Never mind the fact that in both player images, Cordero is sporting Washington Nationals' hat, and Beltran is wearing the orange and blue of the crosstown rival Mets. Because on ESPN, every game is the Yankees versus the Red Sox.

ESPN Knows What you Like

2007-04-26T07:57:00.001-05:00

The first rule of working for ESPN is anything to do with football is better than anything else. The second rule of working for ESPN is if a baseball player doesn’t play on the Yankees or Red Sox then they don’t exist. Even though most casual baseball fans know who Jake Peavy is according to ESPN we do not. On Mike and Mike in the morning today they spent a good five minutes ranting about who no one knows who any of the players in San Diego are. I am sorry to inform them that I am someone and I know who Jake Peavy is. I also know who Trevor Hoffman is, and although he blew a save last night he is still better than Rivera. Of course Rivera plays for the Yankees so therefore everyone knows who he is and he is the greatest ever followed closely by whoever is closing for Boston at the current time.
This weekend is once again Yankees vs. Red Sox. This means my TV will be polluted with inferior DH baseball. I don’t need to watch too fat guys who don’t even know what a baseball glove is go up and sweat all over home plate. I think it would be more entertaining to see David Ortiz and Jason Giambi sumo wrestle. Of course seeing the Yankees vs. Red Sox is what I care about because ESPN tells me to.
Of course with the NFL draft being this weekend the Yankees vs. Red Sox might be interrupted due to some late 7th round pick out of a college no one ever heard of. ESPN informed me the other day that real men plan their weekend around the NFL draft. I had no idea. I was going to go watch the Potomac Nationals take on the Frederick Keys at 2:00 in Frederick and then head over to Hagerstown to see the Suns play their game at 6:35. I don’t know but watching minor league baseball outside on a Saturday might be more fun than sitting around watching twenty year olds walk up to a podium every 15 minutes.

Heartbreakers

2007-04-25T21:16:00.000-05:00

The Mets lose to the Rockies by a deflating score of 11-5. So all the Braves have to do is win against the Marlins and Scott Olsen whom they have owned since he came up to the majors, and they would be sole possession of first place in the NL east, and with no division rivals to play next.

For eight innings, Tim Hudson was the 2007 NL Cy Young winner. Allowing six hits, zero runs, and recording a career-high 12 strikeouts, this game looked like it was going to be a piece of cake.

I should've seen it coming. Olsen, after his shaky start struck out eleven of his own batters, and kept the Braves off the scoreboard for a solid six innings.

But in the 9th inning, that's when the shit hit the fan. Bobby Cox who I have already established is one of the finest managers of modern baseball lore, made a tremendous managing snafu tonight. Twice, now that I think about it. Cox's dedication and confidence towards his players has got to be the biggest rub of inspiration to his team, but there is a little something called reality that isn't being taken into effect. And for an ol'skool skipper like Bobby, who likes to play by the numbers, the numbers aren't favoring tired pitchers.

Hudson had already exceeded 100 pitches, and far too often, Braves starters have stayed in one-inning too long. Tonight was no exception
The score was only 3-0 going into the bottom of the 9th. If it were me managing, any and all save situations would be handled by the closer, with the only exception being a potential no-hitter or perfect game. (Mistake #1)
Bobby usually lets his potential CG'ing pitchers go in the 9th, and immediately relieves them at the first sign of danger. Tonight, he waited until Huddy loaded the bases on three-straight singles, before bringing Wickman into the game. (Mistake #2) As good as Wickman has been thus far, asking any reliever to go out and retire the next three guys without allowing the tying run is way too far.
Wickman's reputation as a fireman isn't that great - his closing numbers are stellar yes, but his favorable situation would be starting the 9th completely fresh for him to establish his dominance. Once anyone gets past first base on his watch, Wickman becomes vulnerable and much more likely to make mistakes, like the passed ball that ultimately ended the game.
Rafael Soriano, whose intensity and mentality, and capability of producing K's would have been far more ideal at the arduous situation at hand. What baffles me is that in 8th, Soriano was getting warmed up - by the 9th, he should've been nice, warm and loose and ready to go.

I would rather have lost 11-5 than to lose a heartbreaker like the Braves did tonight. This is the kind of game that really deflates me as a fan, and really hurts. As a result, the Mets are still first, and the Braves are a half-game behind. And now they have a day off to let all of this sink in, which, by the numbers is never a good thing.

Here's hoping that James, Smoltz and Davies can get something good going in Colorado, who has to be flying high right now having pwned the Mets to end their series.

Hey, if Byung-Hyun Kim is pitching any of the games this weekend, that's like a guaranteed win, right?

An Ugly Game Turns Beautiful

2007-04-24T21:19:00.000-05:00

As I got into my car, and began my drive home from the gym, I was delighted to listen in as the Braves jumped all over the Marlins 4-0 in the top of the first. A great way to start loss-avenging win from the night prior. Lots of baseball fans see late game rallies, regardless of the eventual outcome with optimism, because they believe that momentum can be carried into the next day's game. In this case, it proved to be true, because Atlanta jumped out of the gate, making short work of Van Den Hurk.

And then I got home, turned the television on only to see Mark Redman melt down yet again and give up the lead and let the Marlins tie the game on a Cody Fucking Ross homerun. Come on now, Cody Ross? That guy is like a slightly more intimidating version of David Eckstein. But the Braves would not be daunted, as they came forth to regain the lead in the next inning.

Redman actually pitched a scoreless 2nd inning, which had me thinking that maybe he just needed to settle down.

Nope. Cody Ross again hits a massive double off the wall that Langerhans couldn't field because of all the random shit plastered all over the outfield wall in Dolphin Stadium is a huge distraction to lose the ball in. What was funny was that the pitch prior to the game-tying double was exactly the same pitch - except Ross towered it foul, by like a foot. I would've imagined that Redman wouldn't have thrown it again, but who was I kidding, it's Mark Redman - the alleged "worst All-star in history."

So with the game knotted up at 6-6, I felt this pit in my stomach that this was an evening where I would be going to bed upset yet again.

Enter Peter Moylan.

The following is a real transcript with my co-writer, as he was watching his Nationals take on the Phillies:

HIM: Jamie Moyer confuses me
ME: yes he is weird
ME: uh oh
ME: moylan is in
ME: game over
HIM: damn it

What I expected the Marlins to turn into the illegal beating of baby seals turned into the exact opposite. Moylan feasted on the righty-rich Marlins lineup, and recorded three-scoreless innings of solid relief pitching. His unorthodox sidearm delivery had tons of movement, and I was left watching my TV with the WTF look on my face as pitches mysteriously curved back into the strike zone at the last possible movement. I kept waiting for him to tire and eventually let the Marlins take the lead, but he kept pitching, and getting outs.

By the time he was lifted for a pinch-hitter, he had only yielded one hit and one walk, and his ERA had dropped to a very respectable 3.86. Yates came in and recorded a hold in the 7th, and Soriano recorded one of his own in the 8th. In the top of the 9th, the Marlins made a huge mistake and intentionally walked the .056 hitting Langerhans, and with a full-count, Pete Orr cracked a laser into right field for a two-run single. By the time the top of the 9th was over, the Braves were up 11-6, and it was no longer a save situation for Wickman. Regardless, he shut the door on the Marlins, and the game was over.

Peter Moylan's performance was brilliant. He earned his first ever win in the Major Leagues, but the main story was that despite Redman's abysmal performance, the Atlanta bullpen came in and dominated.

Atlanta Bullpen: 6 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 0 ER, 7 K

As far as I'm concerned, they all deserve the win for that kind of performance. Despite the fact that the team won, Redman should still get a loss. For sucking so badly.

Wanna-be Scout

2007-04-24T06:46:00.000-05:00

I hate to say "I told you so," but... fuck it, I knew it was going to happen all along - Eric Gagne gets hurt... again.

The Rangers should be lucky that they were smart enough to keep Akinori Otsuka to take over his rightful spot as the closer of that crappy team. With Otsuka back in the closer's role, I'm becoming curious to the rate of teams using Japanese relievers to be closers. Takashi Saito of the Dodgers converted 24 saves in part-time duty last year, and has already converted 6-7 this season already, on pace for at least 40 at this rate, barring any injuries. Otsuka obviously pitched great for the Rangers last season after being Trevor Hoffman's set-up man previously, converting 32 saves for them. And the Red Sox have now apparently decided to have Hideki Okajima to be the closer every third day, in order to save Papelbon's shoulder from falling off by August.

The one thing that these three men have is that they are not eating their innings with blistering heat, like a Papelbon or Zumaya would. Rarely do their pitches exceed 90 on the radar gun - they beat their batters with location and control. It's pretty nerve-wracking to watch one of these guys come out in the 9th inning, because we want to see someone not even have a chance to put the ball in play with the game on the line. And guys like Papelbon blowing away top hitters like Young, Jeter and Guerrero don't do anything but add to the appeal. But when a guy like Okajima throws five pitches prior to throwing a tantalizing curveball to Jason Giambi which makes his psychotic eyes bulge prior to swinging, I can't help but cover my eyes, but then remove my hand to see that Giambi hits a harmless tapper to Lugo who throws him out at first.

So last night, the Braves fell to the Marlins in what should not have been such a competitive game. The D-Train obviously more concerned about his impending fatherhood pitched a mediocre game that the Braves really could have capitalized on, but the right guys just couldn't get any contact with the bat. I really can't stand it when Bobby goes into certain line-ups, just to play on the numbers based on hand-orientations.

Leaving Kelly Johnson out of the lineup, just because Willis is a lefty? Johnson's batting .520 in his last four games!

Atlanta's biggest problem is the lower part of the order - Langerhans (.063), Wilson (.164), Thorman (.206), and Diaz (.222) are for the most part, almost guaranteed outs as it stands. At any given point, two of those four guys are in the lineup during each game, and combine them with the pitcher, it's almost safe to say that the opposing pitcher only needs to worry about 1-6, barring a Renteria or A. Jones GIDP.

Wait, let me take that back - Atlanta's biggest problem is starting pitching - namely the fourth and fifth starters. I cringe knowing that Davies and Redman steer the tail-end of the rotation, but I honestly believe Davies is far better than how he's performing lately. If I could write a letter to Kyle Davies, it would be like this:

Dear Kyle,
You're a major-league baseball pitcher. You obviously harness a talent that 90% of the people in the country do not posess. Take a few steps back and look at your situation - you're not in the minor leagues, and are at the pinnacle of baseball performance. Pitch like you belong. Stop being scared, have confidence in the skills that obviously brought you to this level. Think less about the negativity, give up less hits to the likes of Aaron Fucking Boone. Throw first-pitch strikes, use the curveball more. Greg Maddux once said "you can nullify the running game if you just keep them off base." And we all know there's only one way to do that. And bases on balls thrown into the dirt four straight times isn't the answer. Pitch like you pitched on your debut at Fenway two years ago. Pitch like you pitched at Shea on my birthday last year. Pitch like you really don't want to get sent back to the minors and be teamed up with Macay McBBride.
X

But I digress - Atlanta's still 12-7, and right up there with the first place Mets whom the media is having a collective orgasm at the thought of them in first again, even if it is just a half-game defecit.

How Quickly the Tides May Turn

2007-04-22T15:41:00.000-05:00

With the Mets having tied and then going ahead on a 5-run sixth inning, I dreaded all the possible scenarios that would ensue when the Mets would ultimately shut the door on the all-or-nothing-swinging Braves. How amazing Jose Reyes is, Tom Glavine's 294th win en route to the impending 300th win, how the Mets are the gods of the National League, and so forth. Let's face it, when it comes to media bias, Barry Bonds, the New York Mets, and the Chicago Cubs get the vast majority of the coverage.

I was ready to write about how fucking Shawn Green is the most dangerous, underrated hitter in the Mets lineup, and how Jose Reyes is probably one of the best players in the National League altogether, and if he were on any other team than the Mets, I would probably be a fan of his.

But then with one swing of the bat, thoughts like that came to a halt. Edgar Renteria tied the game with a massive opposite-field homerun off Scott Schoenweis. One inning later, I was screaming at my television when Kelly Johnson played Aaron Heilman like a fiddle and crushed a 2-0 fastball into right-center for the go-ahead 3-run homer. Two innings later, Bob Wickman shut the door on the Mets, and the Braves leave Shea Stadium winners of the series 2-1, and with an overall record of 4-2 against the Mets.

My thoughts of today's game:

Kelly Johnson is the man of the hour, and will probably get a hero's welcome the next home game in Atlanta, provided he keeps it up on the remainder of this long road trip. Two homers, clutch hitting, patient at-bats, and good base-running. I feel like one of the few people in Atlanta that actually thought that Johnson was a fine step-up from Marcus Giles, despite having never played second-base ever before. And he's proving it this season thus far, early as it may be.
Bobby Cox, if I am not mistaken, with today's ejection, is maybe 5-6 ejections from the all-time record for ejections. I could be wrong, but I don't exactly remember off the top of my head where it currently stands.
John Smoltz, despite not getting a decision still pitched a hell of a game. Once again, he pitched one inning too many, and got in a lot of trouble. But the highlight of the game, and a sure-fire shoo-in for an upcoming ESPN Web Gem or a potential defensive play of the week/month/season, was when he took a Tom Glavine bunt, and somehow fielded a perfect, off-balance, windmill throw to Craig Wilson who made the stretch and was able to get Glavine out.
Craig Wilson is invincible. Twice this season he has been hit by a pitch, and both times, not even a single flinch. Once was in the thigh, in which he flung the bat towards his dugout and trotted to first as if he just drew a walk - no limping, no indication that it might've even remotely hurt. Heilman is a pretty hard-throwing pitcher - and he plunked Wilson right on the left kidney area, and once again, Wilson acted as if nothing happened, and took his base. If that kind of impact happened in like World Cup soccer, the hit guy would be on the ground looking like someone shot and murdered his entire family and clubbed out his legs.
And speaking of hit batsmen, Pedro Feliciano is a thug. Down three runs in the top of the 9th, he threw way inside on Andruw Jones and plunked him in the foot. And with the next batter, Brian McCann, he threw way inside on him, and on an attempted bunt/protective bat, the ball plunked him on the knuckles. Doesn't sound big, but with a catcher, and anyone who has watched the child molester's (Lo Duca) recent struggles, sore fingers on the throwing hand is a difference maker. Unfortunately Feliciano didn't get charged with an HBP but drew a foul ball strike.

The seemingly impenetrable bullpen of the Mets was exploited by some clutch hitting by the Braves lineup, and I am left with a good feeling having watched a roller coaster ride of a game. For the time being, the Braves are in sole possession of first place in the NL East, and hopefully, they can continue to play well against the Marlins.

The Guy Next Door

2007-04-21T23:10:00.000-05:00

Between the 5th grade up until I was in the 10th grade, I had this neighbor that lived next door to me. He was an only-child, and no matter how much he tried to defend it, there was no denying the fact that he was spoiled. His parents, I really didn't know what they did for a living, but they had an in-house housekeeper/babysitter who spoke only Spanish, which was fine because they were a Latino family anyway. He and I were on-and-off friends throughout those five years - we had a lot in common, and we had very similar interests.

But if you were to ask me how I felt about things bottom line, it would be simple - He was kind of a dork, even more so than the blogger I became to be. He was easily excitable, and probably was pretty creepy in closed confines. I was better at video games than he was, whether it was Street Fighter or Final Fantasy, I could draw better than he could, I was a better athlete, and most importantly, I was better at basketball than he was. The last one was important, because in the end, our friendship ultimately ended because of basketball.

Despite the fact that we both had our own basketball hoops in our driveways, I had the innate ability to lower the height of the rim so that we could both pretend like we were international versions of Spud Webbs or Cedric Ceballoses, y'know, the dunk gurus of our respective generation at the time. But let's face it - both of us were chubby overweight kids, we weren't black, and our jumping abilities were pretty elementary. That didn't stop us, and we still dunked away on a 7-foot high rim. And then, my neighbor got this inspiration to pretend like he was Shawn Kemp or something and perform a monster slam, followed by a pull-up on the rim. Naturally, not being Shawn Kemp, the attempted dunk wasn't pretty - and since my basket wasn't exactly NBA-standards, when he dangled on the rim like a 130 lb. Spanish fly, the rim made this painful sounding creak, before literally snapping the welds.

I shouted at my neighbor, and instead of admitting fault like a real man would do, he got really mad at me, as if I did something wrong, and then stormed back to his house. He and I have not spoken since, even to this day.

I saw him on television today.

With each accomplishment he had, he jumped over the third-base line, obviously uncaring on how much of a dork he looked like. When scorned, he glared with his beady eyes like a psycho filled with hate and promises that wouldn't be delivered. And when he was ultimately relieved in the end, he was given a standing ovation by a crowd who obviously had low expectations. And to make things worse, he tipped his cap towards the crowd that cheered him as if he threw a no-hitter or something - an act that someone with a lot more class, and higher standards would have refrained from doing.

Oliver Perez - 6.2 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 E, 9 K.

With the exception of the 9 strikeouts he recorded, that is a pretty mediocre performance. For a veteran like Tom Glavine, or even Roy Halladay would walk back to the dugout with his head low, somber, and fearing that his bullpen might blow whatever lead might be in jeopardy.

But with the way the Braves were playing today, Perez was pretty safe. This is the second time that I've seen Perez go crazy and shut the Braves down. I don't think for a moment that he is a good pitcher, because I've seen way too many other teams tee off on him like he were pitching on that shitty ball on a string product that Derek Jeter pimps on infomercials. There is just something about the Braves that turns off the suck-switch, and he performs well. And it's not like he was all that great, it was that the Braves just couldn't get any hits in succession to generate some runs. That, and Andruw Jones is trying his butt off to hit homers, which is blowing up in his face, and hopefully will drive his contract price down towards the year's end.

I will admit that Perez played well. Way more well enough than needed to beat the Braves on this day. But Oliver Perez just annoys me. He is just one of those guys that you just don't like for not a whole lot of reasons aside from the obvious. He's dominated the Braves twice this season, which is reason enough, but I dislike him for more than just that. His actions. His mannerisms. His personality, or my percption of it.

The way he leaped like a fairy or a George Costanza over the third base line on his way back to the dugout after he got out of inning after inning.
When Chuck James got a little frustrated after the homer he gave up to Ramon Castro, he threw a little high and tight pitch at Perez to get him off the plate and crowding him. Perez then glared at James who was obviously ignoring his empty threats. With those beady eyes and dumbfounded look on his face, he acted like he would have any chance at all he if got into a real fight with the Southern-bred and raised James. I'd pay to see that.
When he was finally relieved in the 7th inning, Perez leaped like a fairy for the last time over the third base line on his way to the dugout, and then tipped his cap to the cheering crowd like he just completed a perfect game or something. I'm sorry, what? Nine hits? Is that something to be that proud of? This past Tuesday, John Smoltz left the game after giving up six hits to the Nationals, and could be seen in the dugout throwing Gatorade coolers and equipment around in sheer frustration.

The bottom line is that I'm miffed about the Braves losing. Losing to the Mets is nothing to be ashamed about, as they have rebuilt their squad into a legitimate contender throughout the last two years, but losing to Oliver Perez just annoys me. He is a gigantic dork who celebrates like a champion for small victories, and he's plain ugly too.

Was Oliver Perez really my neighbor? Hell no. But metaphorically, Perez was my neighbor. We could've been friends at some point in my life - but his lifestyle, his actions, and just plain stupid reasons lead to why I just don't like him.

This real neighbor, I actually located through myspace anonymously, and I discovered that he, like me, dropped a great deal of baby-fat throughout the years, and like most twenty-somethings in modern America on myspace, has a large variety of grainy digital pictures taken in clubs of himself with a drink in hand, with some 7/10 females in his company.

I bet if I played some one-on-one with nowadays, I'd still whoop his ass. My Olajuwon-esque fadeaway > His Matt Geiger-esque wanna be Jabbar sky-hook.

Baseball and Emotions

2007-04-20T23:38:00.000-05:00

It's April. The baseball season, barring any worldwide tragic events, will ultimately end in October, with the crowning of another World Series champion. Most teams have played no more than maybe 17 games at this point in the season, and there are still over 140 games left to be played. Regardless of the seeming irrelevance of the games being played now, I find that my emotions are ultimately decided by the end of each day by the outcomes of all of the games that I am interested in.

This can be said about pretty much any sport that I am currently following - being baseball season, baseball outcomes ultimately decide how I am feeling by day's end.

Today, was an excellent day, and I feel wonderful.

Atlanta Braves beat the New York Mets in Shea, 7-3, with Chipper crushing a monster homer, and Tim Hudson throwing a dominant, scoreless eight innings.
Washington Nationals, despite a blown save by Chad Cordero, prevail in 14-innings over the Florida Marlins. The worst team in the history of Major League Baseball shouldn't be winning games like this.
Boston Red Sox charge back against Mariano Rivera and the New York Yankees. Torre fails yet again to realize that a man like Rivera should not be used for anything other than three-out saves. Okajima slams the door on the Yankees in place of Papelbon.
St. Louis Cardinals defeat the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley - Lou Piniella explodes... twice. Mysteriously, nobody seems to get the win for the Cards.
Cincinnati Reds beat the Philadelphia Phillies, further plunging them into the dregs of the majors. Flash Gordon blows his second save of the year, thus proving how much the Phillies suck.
In Texas, one of my favorite targets in baseball, Bruce Chen contributed to the overall routing of the Rangers by the Athletics.

Watching Baseball Tonight and seeing all these Braves and Nationals players in both Web Gems, Best Hits, and That's Nasty leaves me with a good taste in my mouth as I sign off.

The Sports Retards

2007-04-20T08:03:00.001-05:00

If the Nationals win the local radio sports show won’t even mention them, but if they lose they use the entire show to gloat. It is sad that they are supposed to represent this area, but yet they are happy when the home team loses. They twist the knife in the wound by saying because the Nationals lost by two runs yesterday they won’t be able to sign Zimmerman to a long term contract in four years. They love to point out that anyone that thinks the Nationals won’t lose 100 games isn’t being realistic. They fail to realize that negativity and realism aren’t the same thing.
Since Manny Acta had a closed door meeting with the team that have been playing better baseball. If they continue to play solid games then they won’t be as bad as these whining gloating losers won’t them to be. Of course we won’t hear anything about how wrong they were. They will just point out they still had a losing season and keep on being negative.
Another theory of theirs’ is that the owners are cheap. Including buying the team, improvements to the stadium, hiring scouts and other front office people, increased advertisement, prospects from the Caribbean, and the players signed in the off-season (minor league contracts or not) the owners probably spent nearly $500,000,000. If I had the ability to spend that kind of money call me cheap all you want. Stan Kasten built an empire in Atlanta, and for some reason that resume isn’t enough to convince these whiney little pencil neck geeks that the Nationals are in good hands. Of course it is hard to convince people with such deep personality flaws that anything possible can happen. The first thought out of their head on a sunny day is it will rain tomorrow.

The Phenomenon known as "Cubs Fans"

2007-04-19T22:34:00.000-05:00

Losing is a part of sports. Every team loses now and then, except the 1972 Miami Dolphins. But losing to the Chicago Cubs, now that blows. And then losing a shut-out to the Chicago Cubs, that just makes me want to take my own life on my own birthday.

Rich Hill isn't that good, but the Braves were having a definite off-night with their bats. I could've fucking hit his overblown 12-6 curveball, because I was correctly predicting every time he was going to use it 90% of the time. For once, Mark Redman had a quality start, but the Braves offense just could not get anything going to generate any run support.

I love Bobby Cox, and I will firmly go with the notion that along with Tony LaRussa, they are two of the best baseball managers to have ever lived. But a disturbing trend I've noticed this season thus far is that Bobby is allowing his starters to consistently go one more inning too long in their starts. And each time he does, the fatigued starter gives up a crucial hit or two, and sometimes a threatening run. It's cold still, and it's early in the season. There's no adrenaline, and there's still a lack of stamina built up. Smoltz the other night went one inning too many and almost had his decision blown against the Nationals. Davies went an inning too long last night, and Villarreal gladly blew the save and took the decision for himself. Tonight, Mark Redman, despite being down two runs, went an inning too long himself, and before he was pulled, the deficit was three runs. With the way the Braves' bats were performing it might as well have been going from an eight to a ten run deficit.

Despite Mike Gonzalez's elbow woes, Villarreal, Yates, Soriano and even Coyler have pitched well recently, to be able to handle the construction of the bridges to Wickman. It's too early to push starters to the limit. Even King Felix in Seattle has been in some pain lately, because the Mariners have been riding his arm so heavily already.

But the main reason I decided to sit down and write is because of the aberration I witnessed tonight...

It's pretty well known. All baseball fans know it. The Chicago Cubs, they have fans, no matter where they go. It could be the Cubs vs. like the fucking San Francisco Giants, and there would be spots of blue all over the entire stadium of sporadic Cubs fans. If the Cubs ever had interleague with the Red Sox in Boston, even they would find a way to infiltrate Fenway to disrupt the seas of red and green. The bottom line is that Cubs fans are absolutely everywhere, regardless of if they're from Chicago, have any affiliation with Chicago, family in Chicago, or not.

Yet, it still baffles me when I see it, and I'm afraid I must also say that it makes me absolutely sick. Yes, Atlanta is a very fair-weathered city, and the fans only have a tendency to come out for the most popular games, and even if the World Series came to Atlanta, tickets would be available at the gate, prior to the first pitch. Turner Field rarely sells out, and even if they do, not all the tickets actually make it back to be redeemed. They have more seats than what they know what to do with, but I can't knock it, it's my absolute favorite park to watch baseball in.

But to see my own home field, smothered with this blue cancer of Chicago Cubs fans, spread few and far between like chicken pox almost makes my skin crawl. To see a fifth-grader named Ronny Cedeno bloop a single, and then to hear an approving eruption in Atlanta disgusts me. These Cubs fans are all belligerent, loud, obnoxious, and most of them are really, really fat. Most are old, and many are young and ignorant, and don't even know why they're cheering for them. They drink way excessively, and now I have this opinion that they really do search to pick out fights. It's fine to cheer for your team, no matter the lack thereof justification, but do it with some class.

Why Cubs fans are so enamored with the Cubs is completely beyond me. They have sucked for like ever, and they seek out excuses like Steve Bartman when Piss-Hands couldn't catch a pop foul. The reasons why Mark Prior and Kerry Wood will never recover is because deep down, Cubs fans don't want them to - because if they were ever healthy and the Cubs continued to skid, they would no longer have that excuse.

My co-writer has said it best, and briefly - Cubs fans obviously have a martyr complex.

Cubs fans are the same people who argue tooth and nail that Clay Aiken was the true American Idol that one year it had William Hung in it. Why that is my prime example is something i should be ashamed of, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. The analogy is that Cubs fans cheer for losers, and dispute things that will never be changed. (Like Bartman)

Even as it stands now, the injury to Alfonso Soriano, the financial situation with Zambrano, the changing of the leagues for Lilly, and the impending sale of the fucking team are all being used as excuses to why the Cubs are still below-average, and are continuously losing to the Reds.

But I digress - mostly I'm just fuming because the Braves lost, and even this early in the season, I treat every loss as if it really sucks - because there ain't nothing good about losing, ever. But I do mean everything I've said - seeing Cubs fans outweigh Braves fans in Atlanta is something that really bothers me.

birthday baseball

2007-04-18T23:18:00.000-05:00

"you fucking don't know shit, you motherfucker!"

And with those words, all gloves were off, and the fists started flying. Unlike high school, nobody around the combatants started chanting "fight, fight, fight." Security allowed the fight to go on for about an entire sixty seconds before reinforcements came along, and there were enough bodies to separate. I don't know if anyone could see it on television, but i caught Edgar Renteria glancing in our direction in between half-innings.

And when the smoke cleared, the Atlanta Braves rallied in the bottom of the seventh inning to beat the lowly Chicago Cubs, 8-6. Great way to bring in my birthday, as I will be going to ~~tomorrow~~today's game as well. But back to the previous game, the Braves took advantage of a shaky Carlos Zambrano, who seems to be playing like he wants to prove that he's not worth Barry Zito money. Kyle Davies had a decent outing, despite a few shaky moments, and Oscar Villarreal Villarreal'd his first victory of the year.

Note: Alfonso Soriano's backup CF, Felix Pie (pron: pee-yay) hit an impressive triple during the game. He also had this noticeable habit of grabbing his gear/junk/package prior to achieving batting stance. Now when I play softball, I've had to adjust my shorts to where I can get into a comfortable batting stance, but not to the extent of palming my grapefruits in between every pitch.

Note:
Washington 4 10 .286
Philadelphia 3 9 .350

If I'm not mistaken, the Nationals are actually better than another team. Certainly, that can't be possible, because the 2007 Nationals are supposed to be the worst team in history of Major League Baseball?

if this were 2006...

2007-04-17T21:31:00.000-05:00

if this were the 2006 atlanta braves, they would have undoubtedly lost the game to the washington nationals tonight. hell, if it were the 4/10/2007 atlanta braves, they would have undoubtedly lost the game to the washington nationals tongiht. macay mcbride would have surely been called in for god knows why to get out of the seventh with the baserunners that belonged to smoltz, and he would as sure as i am breathing air, blown the lead, and no doubt given the nationals the lead in the process.

but these are the braves of late april 2007, and they have a bullpen that can actually pull through. for reasons completely unknown to me, smoltz took the mound in the bottom of the 7th with 98 pitches already thrown. two batters, two hits, one earned run. bobby cox, who should've sat him, and had no reason to keep him going, quickly came out to prevent a repeat of thursday night occur. villerreal pitched brilliantly, and if it were not for the errors by chipper and renteria, he would have gotten out of the inning quickly. thankfully, he whiffed the most talented batter on the team (zimmerman) and cox pulled him for some heat. soriano had a hell of a battle with mr. shaves with scissors (dmitri young) but managed to get out of the remainder of the inning with smoltz's lead intact.

i love john smoltz. i would even venture to say that he is my favorite player on the atlanta braves. but regardless of it were his call or bobby's call, he should not have come out in the 6th inning, as he had a lead, and 98 pitches already thrown. he earned the win in six innings, but he single-handedly put it back in jeopardy in the seventh. as i stated prior, if this were last year's braves, or last week's braves, that lead would have been as good as gone.

villerreal holds it together to get a crucial out, and soriano pitches a magnificent 8th. chipper redeems his error with an insurance homer off rauch, and wickman gets the job done to earn the save.

on a different note, i am a native washingtonian/virginian, so i am a fan of the nationals as well. given my current home situation, i do pull for the braves, even against the nats, but i will defend tooth and nail against all of the illogical rhetoric being spouted about the nationals' organization.

130 losses? not going to happen.
100 losses? more realistic, but i have faith that it will not happen.
70 wins? lofty to the sheep who follow sports illustrated and espn like the word of the lord, but what i feel is an attainable goal.

the marlins have endured such onslaughts of discouragement for the last four years, and yet they keep putting out teams that come within a superstar/a few years of maturity away from being real contenders. the media has decided to shut up, and come to the realization that hey, dontrelle willis is pretty fucking good. miguel cabrera is a year or two from being close to a pujols competitor. hanley ramirez is arguably a year or two from being just like jose reyes.

bottom line, i believe that stan kasten takes the criticism his organization is receiving as seriously as i do. imagine trying to tell him that his team will suck? he'd invite you into his office, where 14 division banners are probably hanging, ask you to take a look around, and then say "what?"

the nationals lost tonight, but it was a hard fought game, that they could have taken. and if anyone wants to get granular, they're boasting more wins than "the team to beat," philadelphia phillies. if the nationals lose 130 games, i'll shave my damn head.

Mortal Enemy

2007-04-17T08:07:00.000-05:00

A wise man once said, “It is better to be thought and idiot than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” Jon Heyman must have never heard this quote. Time and time again when it comes to the Nationals he removes all doubt. He takes every opportunity he gets to put them down. He is the Barbra Mandrel of hating the Nationals. He hated them last year before all the predication of swarms of locust and rivers of blood. Jon Heyman even went so far as to call the capital of the free world a small market. Yes, the most valuable football franchise in the United States plays in a small market. Jon Heyman’s latest tirade against the Nationals is more idiotic than anything before. In the last paragraph he says when talking of the trade deadline:

That's nice. But of course, they don't have all that many players that playoff contenders will want. The one player they must trade is closer Chad Cordero, who could bring in a haul. A closer it not really the last thing a team this bad needs. But as with Alfonso Soriano last summer, whom the Nats ended up holding onto after the trade deadline, there's always the danger they'll expect too much in return for Cordero and wind up doing nothing.

This is almost too easy to dissect. Last year the Nationals traded Royce Clayton, Gary Majewski, Bill Bray, Brendan Harris, Marlon Anderson, Mike Stanton, Livan Hernandez, and Daryl Ward. This year they have the same number of spar parts. There are certain things teams are always looking for at the deadline, relievers and a bat off the bench. The Nationals have relievers and bats that could come off a contender’s bench. Belliard already was traded at the deadline once to help a team win the World Series. Why can’t it happen again? Dmitri Young has been hot with the bat and not terrible with the glove. He will be traded when Nick Johnson comes back. The Nationals bullpen is full of relievers. They have Jesus Colome, Micha Bowie, Jon Rauch, Ryan Wagner, Saul Rivera, and Chad Cordero who can be shut down relievers, and don’t forget Luis Ayala is coming off the DL sometime this season. A team needs to make a game a six inning game not a three inning game.
Jon Heyman then points out that the Nationals must trade Cordero. Why must they trade Cordero? He is young, good, and under contract. This isn’t the same as the Soriano situation. Soriano was a free agent after the season and was having a career year. The Nationals might not need a closer much this year, but what about the next year or the year after that, and unless a team does blow you away why trade a popular good young player. The best offer for Soriano was a low class A pitcher. The same thing the Nationals got for Marlon Anderson. I don’t know if Jon Heyman realizes this, but 2>1. The two draft picks the Nationals got will yield players not far behind a low class A player, and that doubles the chances of one of them turning out to be good.
The stupidity of Jon Heyman is far reaching. He doesn’t understand the term “under contract” or the fact that 2>1. He won’t let facts get in his way of hating the Nationals. I doubt he ever mentions the positives of the Nationals young pitching staff coming around and doing better than experts like him expected.

never be content

2007-04-15T15:10:00.000-05:00

with macay mcbride demoted down to AAA richmond braves, i thought there could be nobody worse that they could possibly bring up to take his place.

enter peter moylan.

known best for making his rediscovery in the 2006 world baseball classic, representing the country/continent of australia. despite the fact that australia went out without any resistance, moylan impressed someone enough for the atlanta braves to bring him to the states for a spring training workout. he ended up making the extended roster, just being another arm - nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. he had a few appearances in the 2006 season, usually during darko milicic time, when the braves were either blowing someone away, or were getting blown away. nothing special, nothing to call home about. i didn't think he could throw all that hard either.

during spring training this year, bobby cox made comments about how he returned to the sidearm delivery that resulted in more success, but obviously he wasn't good enough to make the 25-man roster over macay mcbride.

today's outing showed exactly why. going into the top of the 9th with an 8-1 lead against the florida marlins, the braves called upon moylan to simply close out the rest of the game. moylan would proceed to give up hits to the first three batters, and ultimately give up three runs before bobby cox had to unnecessarily make the AT&T call to the bullpen and bring out bob wickman to throw 0.2 innings in a non-save situation.

his "new" sidearm delivery is slow, and moylan's control is awful. throwing constant balls well below the strike zone, and anything that hits over 88 mph on the speedo is normally wild. lefties also have a gigantic advantage of being able to see his release point easier than righties, and it was proven when borchard and olivo both delivered hits from the left side.

what should have been a relaxing game, i found myself screaming at the television, praying for moylan to throw some goddamn strikes. there was no reason to have to use soriano or gonzalez, but if the braves can't get some reliable arms to do some garbage work, it's going to be a long season.

it takes a blog to generate results

2007-04-14T19:10:00.000-05:00

despite the current rain delay right now, that seems to be clearing up, which means the braves will probably get to take the field very soon, i was absolutely ecstatic at the news i heard today.

RHP chad paronto put on the DL
LHP macay mcbride re-assigned to AAA richmond

i have been pining for the day that macay mcbride gets taken off the 25-man roster, and with the constant "mechanical problems" and "lapses in concentration" he has been suffering with the last two seasons, the braves have finally managed to pull the plug on this liability. i hope peter moylan has enough ability to keep the spot mcbride had, without being such a heart attack inducing waste of a roster spot.

kudos to oscar villarreal who once again provided solid long-term relief pitching when mark redman stunk up the joint again.

introduction

2007-04-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

the last few days, i have been infuriated by the abomination known as the "pitching" by atlanta braves relief pitcher, macay mcbride. as thoughts raced through my head, i realized that there were too few people readily available for me to vent my frustrations, and share my overall manly sports jock opinions. too often, these thoughts are ultimately forgotten, and experienced by absolutely nobody. i wish for that to end, and thus one more time for sting is born.

i would like to thank macay mcbride for essentially pushing me over the proverbial edge to finally act upon my desire to vent and possibly be heard by new eyes and ears, and for basically inadvertently becoming my personal target for whenever the subject veers towards bad pitching, or pitiful performances.

shawn marion's shooting form disgusts me. how he became an actual NBA player with that kind of form completely baffles me. he releases quickly, his elbows bow outwards, and often he gets little to no backspin on the shot. considering he is a career 34% 3-pt shooter, i have no idea why he keeps launching so many treys; he's obviously no tim legler.

i will touch on my subjects, with 90% of them probably pertaining to sports of some form. but afterall, that's what we jocks do.

one more time for sting, baby. woooooooooooooooo!