Baseball Hath Returned...

And with that being said, no better way to bring in the new season with hysterical rants about how crappy an evening at the old Ted was.

1. Parking lot which was previously $5.00 to park doubled to $10.00. When inquired, I was responded with "inflation's a bitch." Might as well pay the additional two bucks, and park at the sanctioned park parking.

2. Weather somehow went from mild high sixties the evening prior to foggy, damp low fifties for tonight. Made for quite possibly one of the colder, uncomfortable games I've been to; I could mention the previous year's home opener, but at least I was prepared for that one, with a blanket and heavy coat.

3. Corky "The Cable Guy" Miller in the lineup. Why he gets the nod over Brayan Pena is beyond me, both are nowhere near as Brian McCann are, but at least Pena switch-hits, and hits with authority (granted, usually a groundball) with either side.

4. "And the starting pitcher... Number 32, Mike Hampton!" And then we see Jeff Bennett running out of the bullpen. Now, since I was at the game, and not in front of a television set, I had no earthly idea to why this was occurring, but naturally, my first instinct was "Oh great, Hampton's hurt himself for this season while warming up." I ended up hearing about something in regards to him not responding well to the frigid weather or something or other, but the bottom line is that because of his inability to play, the Turner Field faithful was treated to a wonderful evening of bullpen roulette. Just what the Braves need, with the Mets coming into town, to have a tired, not-yet-seasoned bullpen.

With most baseball fans, I have laughed at the unfortunate irony and suffering of Mike Hampton throughout the last two years, but truth be told, I've always been a supporter of him, and looked forward to the day that he would suit up and pitch for the Braves yet again. Ironically, I was present at the park during his last game, where he was toasted by Chan Ho Park and the Padres in 2005. And with each of the last two years, seeing Mike Hampton listed in Spring Training, only for something to occur, which would eliminate him from the roster, I would always be disappointed.

But this, this most certainly has to take the cake. I will have to agree with all the others this time around, and just not even consider Mike Hampton's existence. He's not the X-factor of the Braves success hopes, nor is he someone who can be relied upon later in the season to come out of nowhere and get some wins. He embodies false hopes and promises that fall through. I am tired of the Mike Hampton injury streak, and I'd rather he not play at this point. I don't want him to even come back later in the season and suddenly deliver 7-8 key wins, but the Braves still fall short of the postseason - why, because I don't want him to have the opportunity to essentially audition for his next team, where he would probably be magically healthy and return to at least a 14-15 game winner for some other team than the Braves. Call me spiteful, but it's kinda how I feel.

5. Bullpen woes, part deux. At least when the Braves went into the season with Chris Reitsma listed as closer with guys like Macay McBride, Chad Paronto, Mike Remlinger, and Ken Ray as the primary bridge builders, we KNEW we were going to suck. Perhaps it's because I actually read about spring training, and participate at Talking Chop, I feel more hope and sense more potential from this year's bullpen that has done nothing but make me feel like I'm going to develop an ulcer at 25.

Granted, it's only the fourth game of the season, and I'm fully aware of the whole "It's a long season" mentality, but the mood of the evening is frustration, and I am voicing it now. Peter Moylan is a prime example of how someone started off so horrendously, but as the year went on, he became more reliable. This year, Peter Moylan is responsible for giving up a walk-off homerun to Nationals Star-Risen Ryan Zimmerman at their home opener, and has allowed runs to score on him in his other outing. Blaine Boyer is on the cusp of becoming this year's Macay McBride, and Jeff Bennett, Manny Acosta, and Chris Resop have shown nothing but mediocrity if not worse. I groaned when I learned that the Braves had acquired Will Ohman, and I still feel bowel movements when seeing him come out of the bullpen.

6. Bobby Cox's managerial skills. In the 10th inning, Bobby Cox brought in RHP Chris Resop; fair enough, he's scraping the bottom of the bullpen here. He walked a guy, and let another get on base while WP'ing the first guy to third. And then Cox does something strange, he relieves Matt Diaz, moves the pitcher Resop to left field, and brings in LOOGY Royce Ring, to deal with Adam LaRoche.

It was like watching a perfectly executed plan occur, the way LaRoche's eyes lit up at the levity of the situation. It was almost incredulously insulting the way Bobby Cox knew of LaRoche's inability to possibly slap the ball opposite field to the guy in left field. And probably as instructed, Ring got LaRoche to strike out awkwardly at some really bad outside pitches, probably so he could try; nobody could resist taking a shot at an inexperienced fielder.

Unfortunately, Cox might've been better leaving Ring in to deal with the Braves killer of the moment, Xavier Nady.

Which brings us to #7. Losing the series to the Pittsburgh Pirates. There are certain teams that I can accept defeat from. Division Rivals, bullies from the American League. But the f-ing Pirates?

No.

That just makes me mad.

158 games left to go.

Welcome back to the baseball season, home of volatile mood swings, paranoia, hostility, disgust, jubilation, and anything else that could be otherwise considered crazy. Ain't it great?