Definition: The Watermelon Sox

A lot of people love the Boston Red Sox. Regardless of if they're from Boston or not. They have an underdog complex, and regardless of the fact that the Red Sox have exorcised such demons and won it all back in 2004, there are legitimately a lot of fucking fans. I think they're alright, but their fans can be a little annoying. I wouldn't mind people in Atlanta being a little more loyal to the home team.



But today, what I'm going to discuss is the birth of the Watermelon Sox.

Boston, this season is a pretty good team, with decent pitching, a less suspect bullpen, and the usual slugging from Manny Ortez and company, including the impressive emergency of MLB's version of Sam Cassell, meaning the ugliest player in the league - Kevin Youkilis. But winning ways aside, the unfortunate passing of Red Auerbach made the Red Sox decide to honor him earlier in April.

So for an evening, the Boston Red Sox donned green jerseys to tribute the Celtics legend. To make things better, they defeated the Yankees in a come-from-behind, against Mariano Rivera. The jersey is now apparently a permanent item in the Wal-Mart sized Official Red Sox Merchandise store - players who didn't even participate in that particular game, Tim Wakefield, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Jonathan Papelbon, etc, have their names and numbers emblazoned on Celtic green on jerseys for sale.

But let's be frank here - the gesture was touching, but in actuality, it was pretty goofy looking.

My co-writer said it the best when he declared that the Red Sox looked like a bunch of watermelons. I thought about it for a second, and seconded that thought, when I was reminded of chunks of Bubbalicious gum, fresh out of their wrappers.

Look at Jason Varitek here - Navy blue helmet, green jersey, white pants, red knock-socks. Black cleats. Now I'm no fashion genius by any stretch of the imagination, but man, is that a whole lot of colors to be put together in one package.

I wonder what is going to happen when some big figure from the Boston Bruins die one day. I wonder if Varitek is going to have to mix in some yellow into the rainbow of colors he's already wearing.