Monday, October 29, 2007

End of the Season, for real

Thankfully, the slew of 12:15 a.m. ending games is over, as the Boston Red Sox completed the sweep of the Cinderella Colorado Rockies. At the same time, I'm glad that baseball games that end too late, and while it's chilly outside are over, it is, as always, sad to know that another baseball season has officially, really, come to an end. Strategically, MLB does everything it can to prolong the interest in the sport during the off-season, with its painfully slow gradual release of all the award winners, the Scott Boras adventures, as he shifts superstars to various teams all while making ludicrous amounts of money for them as well as himself, and then the inevitable checking in by pitchers and catchers, then the position players into their respective Florida or Arizona spring training facilities. For the time being, I'm going to sit back and relax a little bit, and try and focus on other sports.

Speaking of which, the Redskins got annihilated by the New England Patriots, and the greatest football player ever in the history of football, Tom Brady. So despite the fact that Brady threw for his 28th, 29th, and 30th touchdown passes, the fact that they beat the Redskins cements that the, and you heard it here first, New England Patriots will NOT make the Super Bowl. With the constant running of the score, and the blatant attempts for Brady and Moss to pad stats, someone's going to get pissed, and someone's going to get injured. Probably when the Patriots play the Baltimore Ravens. The ultimate test, is to simply put Bill Belichick on the cover of Madden 2008.

So despite my stat-tracking, and predictions of predictability and probability, the one guy who wins the MVP and two crappy gay hybrid cars, is the one guy whom I forgot to, and then failed to mention because I was too lazy to go back and change it, Mike Lowell. Really now, I would've mentioned his respectable average and run-production, and I even already had his picture uploaded to my folder of player pictures - but at the point in which I realized that I didn't add him, the game was already underway, and I was too lazy to go back and add him, as well as look up his World Series stats.

But Lowell deserved the award, as he came up big last night, and capped it all off with a home run. Drew and Manny fizzled out, and despite my jockeying for Ellsbury, his production just wasn't dramatic enough, and I thought for certain that the award was going to go to Papelbon after he earned his third World Series save, and this one after 1.2 innings of work in consecutive nights, but it was no surprise to me when Lowell showed up on the podium. He hit well in every game, and drove in runs, and did his job exceptionally, as a #5 hitter.

I'm glad the World Series is over, but I'm sad the baseball season is really finished now.

Despite this blog being heavily in favor of baseball, I will make my damnedest attempt to keep blogging about sports in general throughout the off-season. I still have a couple of baseball-related topics I'd like to cover, but hopefully, I will make some concious attempts to write about other things, like the fruitless flight of the Atlanta Hawks, or be another whiny argument about how I could improve the BCS and college football. Either way, it's going to be a long off-season.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

New England Saturation

You heard this here first - if the Washington Redskins beat the New England Patriots, I'm putting all my money on the Patriots to make the Super Bowl.

Cases in point - In 1996, the Washington Redskins beat the New England Patriots, 27-22. The Redskins squandered a 7-1 record, and missed the playoffs while the Patriots stomped on glass slipper of the Natrone Means and the Cinderella Jacksonville Jaguars, and went to the Super Bowl, where they got beat by the Green Bay Packers.

In 2003, the Patriots lost to the Redskins in week 4, 20-17. They then proceeded to win like the next one hundred games, including a Super Bowl victory, and rode their win streak to another Super Bowl victory in 2004.

Like I said, you heard it here first. Redskins win, Patriots succeed later on.


Well, it's been confirmed - the MVP of the World Series is getting a Malibu. And not just any Malibu, but a Hybrid Malibu. They took a gay car, and applied the gayness of hybrids to it, thus making it even gayer. And because the trade off of going from a Corvette the previous year to a fucking Malibu, GM decided to give away a second car to the MVP, which is Hybrid Yukon, or whatever other giant American Fuck-You-Mobile SUVs is on their lineup. Because of the sheer fact that pretty much everyone on the Red Sox roster is pretty much already rollin', the cars should go to Jacoby Ellsbury, who looks like he doesn't even have his learner's permit yet. I'm sure he has yet to get his set of exotics, seeing as how he's still making rookie money, but with the way he played last night, an inevitable payday is on the horizon. Besides, the kid just won everyone a free taco, which makes him an MVP in my book.

So let's look at those still in the running for the two pieces of shit cars:


STILL
the Front Runner

J.D. Drew, Right Field
5/11, .455 avg., 2 RBI, 2 2B






Likely Candidate based on Popularity

David Ortiz, Designated Hitter / First Base
4/12, .333 avg., 3 RBI, 3 2B






Still putting up Good Stats, but no Chance in Hell

Julio Lugo, Shortstop
4/10, .400 avg., 1 RBI, 1 2B






The Rightful Winner

Jacoby Ellsbury, Outfield
5/12, .417 avg., 3 RBI, 3 2B, 1 SB that won America a free taco






Snuck into the Running

Dustin Pedroia, Second Base
5/14, .357 avg., 4 RBI, 1 HR, 1 2B






Very Likely because he is the Ace Pitcher

Josh Beckett, Starting Pitcher
7.0 IP, 1.29 ERA, 9 Ks






The Closer is always a Candidate

Jonathan Papelbon, Closer
2.2 IP, 0.00 ERA, 2 Ks, 2 Saves





Like I said - none of these guys need two more cars, let alone crappy ones. One more to go, and then we can bid this baseball season adieu

Friday, October 26, 2007

Free Cars that Nobody will Want



In recent history, Most Valuable Players in sports championship games/series have been awarded with automobiles, along with a commemorative trophy. No better way to appeal these cars to the common man, by giving them to men who could really care less about having another car in their garage to go with their Ferraris, Mercedes, BMWs, and whatever exotic cars professional athletes with multi-million dollar salaries purchase.

Cases in point - Hines Ward, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Deion Branch all have Cadillacs to go along with their respective Super Bowl MVP award honors. And pictured above is last year's World Series MVP, St. Louis Cardinals shortstop, David Eckstein, and his brand-spanking new Chevrolet Corvette. Afterwards, Eckstein admitted to not knowing how to drive a stick-shift, and that he gave it to his brother. He probably also couldn't reach the pedals either, but let's not go there.

But the thing is, David Eckstein played his ass off, and rightfully earned Most Valuable Player honors. And for that distinction, he was given a 2007 Z06 Corvette. A car that is, for the lack of a better term, fast as shit. All the Caddys the Super Bowl MVPs win are either also fast as shit, or at least relatively pimpin'.

With the way the World Series are going now, and the trends of marketing occurring in between innings, it is safe to say that there stands a good chance that the inevitable MVP of the 2007 World Series is going to win a 2008 Chevrolet Malibu.


A MALIBU. A Chevy FUCKING Malibu.


If I were a potential MVP candidate, and the series were already locked up, I would do something totally stupid like drop a pop fly, or lay down a sac bunt with two outs to totally blow my chances to win this car, just so I could avoid further IRS tax scrutiny. A Caddy, I'd love, a Corvette, would I never deny. But a Malibu? Just what is MLB trying to say?

So let's take a look at the possible Malibu winners here...






















<empty>

The Front Runner


J.D. Drew, RF
4/7, .571 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B






<empty>

But Likely Winner


Manny Ramirez, LF
4/8, .500 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B






<empty>

Candidate based on popularity


David Ortiz, DH
3/8, .375 AVG, 2 RBI, 2B (2)






<empty>

Unlikely, but good stats


Julio Lugo, SS
3/7, .428 AVG, RBI






<empty>

Very Likely because pitchers are eligible for this MVP


Josh Beckett, SP
7.0 IP, 1.29 ERA, 9 Ks






<empty>

The Relief Pitcher who gets some huge clutch outs


Hideki Okajima, RP
2.1 IP, 0.00 ERA, 4 Ks, 1 Hold






<empty>

The Closer always is considered


Jonathan Papelbon, RP-CL
1.1 IP, 0.00 ERA, 2 Ks, 1 Save

 


Out of all these guys, I couldn't see Manny Ramirez in a Malibu. David Ortiz couldn't fit into a Malibu, and Lugo would just lower it, put some mis-matched rims, body panels, and a huge exhaust on it. Drew and Beckett, being the good-ol' boys they really are, would probably give it to a cousin or something. Papelbon is just a plain weirdo, and could take it, but that pretty much leaves Okajima. He'd probably enjoy it, because it would cap off a relatively glowing rookie season, and since he's going to get shafted out of the Rookie of the Year honors by a teammate, it'd be nice for him to have something. That, and Japanese people are enamored by American shit - no doubt a Malibu would be the equivalent of drinking his first Budweiser.

But let's be realistic here - if America got to choose the MVP for the World Series, we all know who it's going to:


Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez Jacoby Ellsbury.


For winning all of us fat out-of-shape sweat-hog motherfuckers a free Taco Bell taco.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Indians Wi--I mean, lose...

Well, it was a good run for the Fighting Injuns, who despite it all, decided to outsource their talent into obliteration as what was up until tonight such a perfect game plan went awry. But deep down inside, I wasn't sure who I was rooting for, because there was a small, majority part of me that wanted to be a fair-weathered fan and have an excuse to wear my Boston Red Sox paraphenilia, despite my not-quite as glowing feelings for them since actually having gone to Boston, and having real Red Sox fans in my own backyard - just that mentality that it's good to be on the winning side, for a change... that is, until the Red Sox get p0wned by the Colorado Rockies, and their pretty much flawless attack from every aspect of the game. But anyway, since the ride is now over, here it is...



Eventually, when I get back from Las Vegas, I will go on and post the "What should've been" images for the remaining for victories that the Cleveland Indians will not have.

It's been a good run, and I'm kind of sad to see it end. If the Rockies win, I will be content that such a Cinderella story came to fruition, but at this point, I kind of really don't care.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Atlanta's future WNBA team

As much as I hate to interrupt the march of the Indians, but this cannot wait.

Apparently, the City of Atlanta is in line to receive a WNBA team, since you all know, the WNBA still exists and occurs each summer, apparently. But anyway, someone on the Atlanta-area Craig's List put up an open question to the people:

What should Atlanta's WNBA team be named?

See for yourself. Who knows how long that link will remain valid, seeing as it's on Craig's List...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Indians Win! SIX down, five to go

All morning long, the media said "Red Sox lose." No mention of "Cleveland wins," or "Colorado Rockies advance to first World Series ever." Often, I say that I dislike sports media, despite the fact that I would give a kidney to be able to get paid to write about sports all day long. But websites like si.com, which I might add is housed in Atlanta, Georgia, all seem to have this fascination with the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and New York Mets. And Barry Bonds. No credit to those who deserve it. Like the Colorado Rockies. And the Cleveland Indians... whom speaking of which:



Tim Wakefield took it up the butt, and now the Cleveland Indians are on the brink of the World Series. Rest up while Beckett pounds them in Game 5, and then rape Schilling en route to the Series.

FOX's "pitcher-cam" or whatever the fuck they call it sucks. The grainy, slow-mo, slightly delayed "cinematic" look, and then boom, back to real-time bullshit has got to stop. I know closeups of the pitcher's face prior to the pitch is good for building suspense and shows possibly anxiety, but with the cinematic cam, it's plain gay.

Anyway - SIX wins down, five to go.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Indians Win! FIVE down, six to go

When it comes to baseball on the grandest stage of them all, meaning playoffs, in Major League Baseball, there is something that international players lack. I had a bad feeling for Boston fans knowing that Daisuke Matsuzaka was taking the mound for the Red Sox, since he hasn't been pitching that well. Not just recently, but throughout the whole year - the Matsuzaka that owned everyone in the World Baseball Classic while representing his home country of Japan didn't seem to make it to America at the start of this season. But there are more words to be had on that topic another time, because for the time being...



That's right, bitches. The win parade keeps on marching. The Injuns need to march into Colorado and plant a big-ass casino and international IT-call center en route to owning the Rockies.

FIVE wins down, six more to go. Nuggas.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Indians Win! FOUR down, seven to go

Holy shit that was a long game. I knew when Gagne took the mound that something was going to happen - it was like Boston did everything they could to avoid having to use this weak link. I also knew that Schilling was running his mouth again, and that when the day was over, the probability of him sucking was higher than him being Mr. October again. Anyway, without further ado...



Five hours and 15 minutes, and the Indians scoring seven runs in the top of the 11th, the final three being outsourced the shit out of Fenway Park. What a crazy fucking game.

Four wins down, seven to go.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Indians Win! THREE down, eight to go

Indians Win!
Indians Win!
Indians Win!
Indians Win!



THREE wins down, eight more to go.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Indians Win! TWO down, nine to go

Believe me, I've already got all eleven of these ready to go.



Two wins down, nine more to go.

Indians Win! One Down, Ten to Go

When it comes to watching sports, if you are to actually enjoy yourself, there has to be something to root for. That being said, with the baseball playoffs now underway, and my Atlanta Braves nowhere in the picture, I've pretty much decided who I want to win each divisional series, and whom I want to ultimately win it entirely. So far, so good.



I have decided that I am rooting for the Cleveland Indians to win it all, for one reason, and one reason only.

To be able to post politically-incorrect, misunderstood, demographic-ignorant, shoddily photoshopped pictures of the Cleveland Indians with each win... or elimination... for my own amusement, and for the amusement of those who know my demented humor, and get it themselves.

One win down, ten more to go.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Inevitable Changes in Modern Sports

In the novel, For the Love of the Game, protagonist Billy Chapel is essentially an old school player living in the modern era. He loves the game, and the thought of playing for a team other than the one he played for his entire career is one that has never really crossed his mind throughout his tenure in the big leagues. He is paid generously, but there is speculation that throughout his career, a large amount of money has been left on the table due to his earnest willingness to continue playing for his team, and simplicity in negotiating the financial aspect of doing his job. Never any agents, and always with a handshake with the owner of the team. Even the owner himself has questioned Chapel's lack of argument when it came to the financial aspect. To Chapel, he's paid well; more than enough to live a comfortable lifestyle, and it's while getting to do what he loves most - play baseball.

Even with the most marginal of talent, the minimum salaries in professional sports at the major level are more than enough for a person to comfortably live off of, with minimal maintenance. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you that it's financially irresponsible to own a Hummer, Maserati, Lamborghini, and a Benz, when one can do just fine with a top-end Lexus. But I'm getting beside the point, which is that the modern sports era is one that is purely tainted by money, greed, and luxury, and I often question where the love of the game has simply gone?

Sports fans of any sport nowadays will endure the feeling of change, when a player moves elsewhere, for whatever reasons, most typically, financially. I think it's certainly more frequently than back when our parents and their parents watched sports - back then, there were more Billy Chapels, and less agents, and a seemingly better understanding that get paid to play sports was more of a privilege than a right. Sometimes, the changes are understandable, sometimes they don't really bother us, because it's a player from a team that we might be indifferent to. Lots of times, change occurs with the teams that we religiously follow, which hurts the most. Always though, change takes some time to let sink in, because it's going to be a little strange.

Cases in point -

• Ken Griffey, Jr. departs from the Seattle Mariners, and goes to the Cincinnati Reds. How accustomed did we all grow seeing Junior in the green and navy blue of the Mariners, to see him don the red and white of the Reds? I didn't even really follow baseball much back then, and I was like, wtf?

• Allen Iverson traded from the Philadelphia 76ers to the Denver Nuggets. Iverson grew up in Virginia, played college ball at Georgetown, and went pro to the 76ers. For his entire career to that point, his entire life was spent in the chunk of the Atlantic coast, mostly making his name at Georgetown. Even when he went to the 76ers, there was always a sense of pride in this guy that at first, liked it there, because he was "close to home," referring to Washington/Virginia. And now he's out in fucking Colorado, because he's now a douche who couldn't get along with management. Just because it happened in one place doesn't mean it'll never happen again. I wouldn't be surprised to see him have to move again in his career. Regardless though, black-red-white Iverson was a staple of the game - but now we're subject to the light blue-gold-white of the Nuggets, and that's just.. weird.

• Mike Mussina goes to the Yankees. Because Peter Angelos is a stingy jew, Mussina does what most players with good talent do - accept Yankee money, and then put on Yankee pinstripes. This, saddened me, because I have glowing memories of the 1997 ALCS, where the scientific Mussina struck out fifteen Cleveland Indians, in an extra-innings heartbreaker. With him gone, and the inevitable retirement of Cal Ripken, Jr., I would never have any reason to like the Orioles ever again.

• Drew Bledsoe throws up his arms and goes to Buffalo. Bledsoe was the Patriots, long before Tom Brady showed up and started spreading his seed everywhere, impregnating all the hot womens. Bledsoe has to have had one of the most ironic careers in sports history, starting with the fact that during his tenure with the Patriots, they were never really bad, and once good enough to go all the way to the Superbowl in 1996. He got his ring in 2001, but that was after his injury, and Brady stepped to the plate, and Drew had to earn it on someone else's coat tails. Naturally, sensing the directional change of the team, he goes to the Bills, and in his first game with the Bills, he leads them to a humiliating blowout win over his former team. Unfortunately, that would be the highlight of his career with the Bills, as they proceeded to pretty much lose every game after that, and then he went to Dallas where he did shit there too.

• Pedro Martinez leaves the Boston Red Sox, and goes to the New York Mets. To me, this is probably the biggest move that I can think of currently. Pedro WAS Boston. Throughout the 90s, and into the 2000s, when anyone mentioned the Red Sox, the guy synonymous with the team was Pedro, quite possibly the greatest pitcher of the 90s. The city of Boston had reason to celebrate every five days in the summer, aptly described as "Pedro Martinez Day." In 2004, the Red Sox got their shit together, and actually won it all. Promptly afterwards, Pedro balks at Boston's generous 4-year deal, and accepts the equivalently generous 5-year deal from the Mets. The red, the B, of the Red Sox no more. Instead, he donned the blue and orange, sometimes pinstriped, and always ugly blue baseball glove of the Mets. Now that was weird.

There are far other examples, and I don't count the ones that contain players well past their prime, like Patrick Ewing going to the Sonics and then the Magic, or Hakeem Olajuwon going to the fucking Raptors.

**

Now what I'm getting to is the recent news that the Atlanta Braves have decided to not deal with Nazi-agent Scott Boras, and therefore allowing Andruw Jones to cut ties from the one organization he's been playing with for his twelve-year career. Basically, unless Andruw comes back with just his dad and no Boras, and says he'll play for Atlanta for the rest of his career for half of what he's initially looking for, there's a 99% chance that Andruw Jones is done for with the Atlanta Braves.

There are times where the guy has infuriated me, especially this season. I marched out of Fenway Park after Andruw Jones struck out for the fifth time against Papelbon, drunkenly screaming to everyone that "if you want Andruw Jones so bad you can fucking keep him I don't want him coming back to Atlanta with me". I cursed his existence when he pulled a Jose Vidro, and grounded into a double play to end the game at Shea, against an evidently struggling Billy Wagner. The constant rally-killing strikeouts, the poor body language. At times, I hated Andruw Jones.

But as the season began winding down, and Mark Teixiera started heating up, it was Andruw Jones, quietly improving his numbers from the seven-spot. Realization sunk in that Andruw Jones' Atlanta career was slowly, and quietly dying. I thought back to 2005, when Andruw cranked out 51 home runs, and how amazing he was. 2007 was no question, a fluke in his career, and he will be back very soon, with another 35 homer, 120 RBI season.

Unfortunately, it will probably in all likelihood not be for the Atlanta Braves.

In 2005, I remember logging onto SI.com, and seeing a picture of Pedro Martinez wearing a Mets jersey, and hat, while smiling brightly for the camera. I grimaced, and did the "OJ Simpson on Trial" face at that sight. I dread the day I go onto SI.com, and see a picture of Andruw Jones wearing someone else's jersey.

But it's going to happen.

And that makes me sad.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Goodbye Summer

At 12:17 a.m. EST, this morning, whether or not Matt Holliday touched home plate or not, the Colorado Rockies beat the San Diego Padres in the bottom of the 13th inning, in the rare edition of the 163rd game of the season, to take the last and final place in the playoffs as the National League's Wild Card. All I have to say is that despite my general indifference towards either of the two teams, I was pulling for the Padres to pull it out, and needless to say, I was disappointed. But not for long. This was just a game that anyone could tell the Rockies just wanted more, and in a battle of attrition, the home team usually pulls it out.

This game was in every sense of the word, beautiful.

Two teams that played their hearts out and left absolutely everything on the field. It really doesn't matter what the Rockies do from this point, because there is little they can do except win the World Series that can reach this level this season. Neither team gave up at any time of the game, and when the game finally reached it's end, it had a little bit of everything, just enough to make this one of the greatest games ever played.

• Blood
• Sweat
• Tears
• Constant ties
• Blown saves
• A grand slam
• Controversial calls
• Extra innings

There were so many great individual performances last night, and my mind is still scrambling, trying to remember them all. The guy that stands out the most to me would have to be Padres reliever, Heath Bell, whom with his 2.2 innings of work would just not cave in, and threw some ballsy pitches to some of the best hitters all year, and when he sat down, had struck out five. He epitomized the raw emotion and desire to win, even if it meant shouldering the burden, and this was clearly evident, when he struck out Holliday to end the inning, and for an entire second, the only thing that could be heard was this triumphant roar from Bell. On a night where, and as Joe Morgan was quick to point out... several times... but on a night when Jake Peavy wasn't quite Jake Peavy, Bell sure as hell came out of the bullpen, and did his best impression for 2.2 innings.

Speaking of Peavy, the guy just didn't have his stuff last night. I can't say it was nerves, because the mark of a good pitcher is how they settle down and put the clamps down onto the other team, but all night long, Peavy had difficulty finding the strike zone, and his pitches lacked the bite and late-movement that I had seen him punish the Braves with on several occasions. The fact that he went 118 pitches in over six innings may have hurt the Padres, with his inability to preserve the lead at any given time. He has probably in already won the National League's Cy Young since he's the triple-crown pitcher and his accomplishments are not to be dismissed by any means, but if there was ever a game that he needed to be even 80%, yesterday was it.

Matt Holliday, I was hoping would have gone 0-5, so that Chipper Jones could win the batting title. But to ask of that from someone whom is having an MVP-caliber season is pretty much riding on hopes and dreams. I think he went 2-4 or 2-5 or something, with possibly two BBs, but the bottom line is that with his MVP-caliber performance last night, he secured both the batting title, the RBI title, and if not for the fact that award balloting ended two days ago, he probably would've won National League MVP. The triple in the bottom of the 13th was heart-wrenching, and despite the questionability of the game-winning slide that shouldn't have been game-winning, it was only putting off the inevitable; the Rockies would've probably won that game in the 15th, 16th, or 18th for all we know - I just see it as doing me a favor and letting me go to sleep.

Mike Cameron - can we say that this guy has balls, or can we say that this guy, or maybe it's Bud Black, is just stupid? Who knows. All I know is that I'd never seen a man look so miserable in his entire life until I'd seen Cameron sitting on the bench, watching as Clark made three bad plays in center field that Cameron would have made look easy. And it was evidently too much for him to handle, as injured hand or not, he came in to pinch-run, and then to play his rightful position for two innings. I know the guy is entering free-agency, and he wants to show off, but one bad defensive play, and he could've seriously messed himself up.

When Jorge Julio came out in the top of the 13th, I silently rejoiced, but dared say nothing - I'd seen this guy wildly pitch away in Florida to know that he was a ticking time bomb, and that this amount of pressure would've been crippling to a weak-minded guy like him. All was justified, when he gave up the two-run jack to Hariston, and I was on my feet. I almost found it humorous when the guy to clean up his mess was none other than Ramon Ortiz, a former Nationals starter whom I was used to seeing get victimized, by like everyone. Miraculously, he managed to get out of the inning without letting more damage through.

A funny feeling came over me when we reached the bottom of the 13th inning. No, not from TBS camera crew constantly focusing on the hot blonde in the front row behind the Rockies' on-deck circle (bless them), but one of those funny gut-feelings that something just isn't quite right. The greatest closer of all time, Trevor Hoffman taking the mound in the bottom of the 13th, to attempt to close out the Rockies and clinch the final playoff spot for the Padres. The Rockies, sending the top of their order to eliminate the defecit and keep the game going. Something inside of me, and I said this at 12:02 a.m., 15 minutes prior to the winning run coming in, that "with Matt Holliday, anything is possible."

Bell, Brocail, Thatcher - all these guys did one hell of a job last night, keeping the Rockies off the scoreboards. They all also do something else - throw heat. Anywhere from 92-96 mph, these guys had Rockies batters off balance and unable to catch up to their fastballs when thrown.

I like Trevor Hoffman, and I will declare him the best closer ever, unless Mariano Rivera can take the all-time saves title from him, which doesn't seem likely anymore. But if there's one thing Hoffman doesn't do anymore now, is what all his prior bullpen mates did do - throw heat. His fastball tops at around 86-88 mph, and his changeup struggles to find the strike zone at around 75 mph. After dealing with flame throwers, this was the perfect velocity for Rockies hitters to see softballs coming down the pipe. Not Tim Wakefield slow, but not Joel Zumaya fast. Perfect speed.

I saw this coming when Kaz doubled to start the inning, and then all of a sudden, I knew right then and there that this game was over, and it was just a matter of time when. I figured Tulowitzki was going to bunt or something to get Kaz over, but he instead batted him in, and the Holliday batted him in immediately afterwards. Hoffman was maybe a little fatigued, from having been warmed up three times prior to actually pitching, but I can't fault Bud Black for going to the all-times saves leader, for just one more.

And then the rest was history. I laughed at Carroll's post game ignorance:

"IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO GO CELEBRATE"
"Well, there's someone hurt over there"
"WHO?????"
"...Matt Holliday. The guy you just batted in. The guy who just won the game for you"
"OH I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED"

I laughed my ass off at this one. Was he serious? Was Carroll on such a high, that he couldn't even remember who he just batted in for the winning run?

After four hours and 40 minutes, the last game of the season ended, and therefore, summer has officlaly ended. In terms of pure baseball, there wasn't anything much better than the 163rd game. Both teams left everything out on the field, and the Rockies weren't just the only winners last night, we as baseball fans won, too.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The rare Game #163

Summer is not over yet. Baseball will push the sun up one more time, and give us one more day of regular season baseball. Tomorrow is the real first day of Autumn, as after tonight, the final game of the season will be played, and the state for the playoffs will be set.

But tonight, we as baseball fans, get to witness something that hasn't been seen in the better part of a decade - Game 163.

For one night only, Jake Peavy will take the mound, and the visiting San Diego Padres march into Coors Field in Colorado to take on Matt Holliday, Todd Helton, Troy Tulowitzki, and the rest of the upstart Rockies, where everything, is on the line.

Padres vs. Rockies. Think about it, that doesn't sound like a game any of us would watch, unless we're a die-hard Padres fan, or a die-hard Rockies fan. Unless there are absolutely no other games being played in DirecTV's MLB package, I wouldn't think about sitting down to watch this one. Not even if it were Peavy/Maddux vs. Jeff Francis or something marquee.

But tonight's match-up is something special. For one of these teams tonight, this is the last game of the season. The winner is the National League Wild Card, and is guaranteed three more games, and more if they can ride this wave longer. The loser will probably suffer the worst defeat possible - on the cusp, the bubble, right on the edge - of a chance at the post-season, only to fall short. And then a winter of questions will begin:

• What if Trevor Hoffman didn't blow the save against ______?
• If Holliday's warning-track hit were in Colorado instead of Philly, wouldn't it have gone out?
• Why did we get Michael Barrett??

On any other given night throughout the summer, I wouldn't care about this game. Personally, I have my own reasons for watching this game tonight, and I intend to be in front of my television at 7:35 EST to see this.

• Probable NL Cy Young winner Jake Peavy vs. Probable NL MVP Matt Holliday who also happens to be the current batting champion. Peavy wins tonight, he gets 20 wins, a perfect compliment to the AL's Josh Beckett. But in order to get that win, I would ideally like him to 0-fer Holliday, whom with a theoretical 0-4 or 0-5 performance tonight, would solidify Atlanta's Chipper Jones as the batting champion for 2007. Yes, regardless of the award balloting goes, the votes are already in, contrary to what MLB.com wants you to believe. But in terms of statistics, Game 163 IS a regular-season game, and yes, these stats DO count.

• TBS is broadcasting this game - yesterday marked the final Braves broadcast on TBS, which was kind of a melancholy thing for me. I don't agree with the direction of the station, and they're doing everything to eliminate the past from the present from me, the dismissal of WCW pro-wrestling, and now the killing-off of Atlanta Braves baseball. They're even changing the channel number, from the "Channel 17" most people have grown accustomed to throughout the last three decades. Furthermore, with the killing of Braves on TBS, but the beginning of Postseason on TBS, I am curious to get a preview of the new crew - from what I know, it is Chip Caray and Cal Ripken, Jr. among a cast of who-knows-else. Like 'em or hate 'em, tonight's the night to get a sample of what we're going to be hearing for the next two weeks.

• It's Game 163. When was the last time we saw one? 1999? This is it, if there was ever one game to watch where two teams are going to leave it all out on the field, that is tonight. It's a playoff game, and yet it isn't. Tonight, loser goes home, and winner takes all. But winner taking all still means they have received nothing at all, except for a chance.

God, baseball is a wonderful thing.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Free Agency, and the inevitable death of sports

Often, I interact with the folks at Talking Chop, which is an Atlanta Braves blog slash community. All throughout the year, and more so recently, has been the discussion of Andruw Jones' imminent departure from Atlanta. It seems inevitable that he is as good as gone, because his agent is the "evil" Scott Boras, he of Alex Rodriguez get-eth the $225 million contract, and also he of the Chan Ho Park get-eth the $65 million contract.

And in the same vein as all of his clients, Andruw Jones is following in similar footsteps, by the things he is doing. He says he wants to stay in ______. Atlanta, in Jones' case. He has shed weight. He's even on occasion started swiping bases again, a skill he seemingly forgot in 2001. And Andruw Jones is having a monstrous season.

Or at least, he's been trying to.

Batting a scorching .221, with 134 whiffs, somehow he still has 26 homers, and 92 RBIs. Aside from the average, the numbers aren't that horrendous, but for a guy like Jones who has been averaging much better throughout the last few years, this season has more or less been a fluke of a bust. Everyone knows his intent to have a great season, but the numbers, do not always tell the story. I can't even begin to recall how many times he has struck out, hit into double plays, or single-handedly killed rallies and ended games with poor performance.

In a trip to Boston earlier this year, I watched Andruw Jones strike out to tend the game with the bases loaded against Jonathan Papelbon, after Jeff Francoeur and Matt Diaz got two-out singles against the flame throwing closer, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia showed some rookie balls by drawing a run-scoring walk. Andruw Jones went 0-5 that day, with a total of five strikeouts.

In a pivotal game against the Mets at Shea Stadium, Chipper Jones victimized the Mets by hitting a 9th inning double off of Billy Wagner. Francoeur singled, and pinch-hitting Chris Woodward capitalized on a sac-bunt situation and drew a walk to load the bases. With one out, and down a run, a sac-fly would tie the game, and a single would've likely taken the lead. Andruw Jones promptly hits a ground ball right to Luis Castillo who 3-6-1, ends the game on a double play.

I could go on with this, but I don't want to drag on - I would've posted this on Talking Chop, but I was afraid that people would get tired of reading.

So the bottom line is that Andruw Jones, teamed with Scott Boras wants money, and regardless of the fluke season, will probably get money. Which has everyone asking, "Just how much money does he need?"

It's easy for us "commoners" to ask such a question, for the most part, we're all working-class citizens who have mortgages/rent to pay, bills, car payments, and other tedious expenses. Older folks have children, and all of their expenses. Baseball games for us are a form of recreation, or a means to relax, or both. If we made Andruw Jones' 2006 $13.5 million salary for even one year, I'd hope that the majority of us would have the groundwork laid out for a long-term savings or investment plan.

Look at a professional athlete, from a couple steps back. The average pro athlete is like anywhere from 22-36. Baseball players, since they don't have to run suicides or ram into other players, and have the luxury of lasting longer, resulting in the Greg Madduxes and Roger Clemenses. And then we have the freaks like Julio Franco, but that's a different story. But the bottom line is that these grown men are playing games, that kids play for recreation and exercise. The only difference is that the grown men get paid to do it, where the kids do it for fun, and maybe bragging rights.

To a professional athlete, a lot of them, just haven't grown up - they've still got the mindset of a kid. Like Manny Ramirez. It's like they make $16 million, so they're going to spend $10 million of it, that year. Big-ass house, lots of cars they'll hardly drive, and tons of shit they really don't need. They develop a lifestyle, that if they were to suddenly not have it, it may as very well be fatal.

Agents know this, which is why they continue to evolve the concept of free agency, and pressure, and push teams into giving more money for services. They brainwash players into believing they're worth ludicrous amounts, and then they brainwash teams into believing they need the services of a certain player. Ultimately, they will be fall of professional sports, because professional sports are forgetting why they exist.

Yankee games are already financially impossible for a family of four to attend, because New York has to supplement Alex Rodriguez's salary. I learned this from the family of eleven that traveled to Baltimore to watch the Yankees, because even with the travel, food and lodging costs, it was still cheaper to watch them in Maryland instead of New York.

If they already haven't, kids aren't playing sports because they're fun, but they realize they're good at it, and potentially could make millions if they continue to be good at it through their twenties. To me, sports should never been seen as a way to a different life. That is what the brain is for.

When people stop playing sports for the love of their game, and solely for money, sports as we know it will officially be dead.

Friday, September 21, 2007

An open letter to the Atlanta Braves organization

Dear Atlanta Braves staff and management,

I have accepted the fact that the mathematical chances for the Braves to advance into the playoffs are very slim, but regardless of the outcome, I have still purchased tickets to all remaining home games, and I plan on scheduling in the remaining regular season games into my schedule for the next week. Summer is not over until the regular season comes to an end. No matter what the outcome of the regular season is, I will remain a fan. That is something that should not be in question.

I would like to, however, offer some suggestions for next year. I hope that these suggestions are taken with some seriousness, and have some consideration taken towards them.

∙ Retire or burn, prohibit the use of the #49 for any player's jersey number. For some reason, the organization has been fixated on placing the number 49 on the unofficial designated "left-handed specialist" relief pitcher. Macay McBride started the season wearing that number, and upon his departure, each new southpaw reliever was adorned with that number. Allow me to be as blunt as possible with the following statement: Macay McBride stank. He was never really that good of a pitcher. Why Mr. Bobby Cox constantly gave him chances to improve yet fail is completely beyond myself, as well as other Atlanta Braves fans I have interacted with, but the more concerning fact is that every left-handed pitcher who came in to take his place has shown the same tendencies and incompetence that McBride had left impression-ed on the number. Wilfredo Ledezma, who was touted to have potential as both a reliever and a starter was received in the McBride transaction, but then he came to Atlanta and was incapable of doing any better than McBride did. Ultimately, Ledezma was part of a deal that included the more experienced, well-traveled Ron Mahay. He started off well, but seeing #49 on the back of his jersey continued to, for lack of a better term, give me indigestion every time I saw him pitch. And tonight, Mahay walked in the go-ahead run to the Milwaukee Brewers, on four straight pitches. If this is not a red flag for incompetence, I fear the future.

∙ Sever relations with relief pitcher Tyler Yates. He has been given many chances throughout the last two years, but I am afraid to say that his time is ultimately up. He is far too one-dimensional, and only has a fastball that tops out at an impressive 98 mph. Unfortunately, that is the only pitch he has, sans a mediocre slider, and a change-up that he cannot throw for strikes. Two relievers that have been recently around in Manny Acosta and Jose Ascanio have comparable velocity, as well as additional pitches in their repertoires, as well as stronger mental capacities. Yates has become unreliable, and lacks the stamina to continue pitching after July. I would suggest trading him for the popular Player-to-be-Named-Later.

∙ I do not wish for Bobby Cox to change, except for one thing - tune down the loyalty to his starting pitchers from 11 to perhaps 9, and when a starting pitcher is evidently struggling to record an out, to pull him. Tim Hudson perhaps should have 20 wins at this point in the season, if not for decisions that let him remain in the game too long. Pull him after the first single he gives up; especially in a one-run game. John Smoltz should probably have 2-3 additional wins as well, if not for the "one more inning" that Cox apparently milks of his starters. A bullpen was constructed in order for the starters to fall back onto.

I hope that my suggestions are well read and considered, and I am by no stretch of the imagination saying that I can run the Braves better than anyone currently on staff. But sometimes, an outside perspective is necessary to see things that those on the inside can't see so clearly.

Sincerely, a proud fan,
DH

Rule Two: Second Guessing is Dumb

“The kick and the pitch, it is hit a long way to deep centerfield. Going back is the centerfield, and all he can do is turn and watch, I guess he shouldn’t have thrown that pitch.”

I guess he shouldn’t have either, but maybe he should have. Is it our job as baseball fans to second-guess every move a team makes? Bob Gibson hated the media to ask him what pitch he threw when he gave up a homerun. He felt that people just didn’t understand that sometimes good pitches get hit. Pitching is one of the most second guessed aspects of the game. The fans believe that their pitcher no matter who he is should be able to get the batter out no matter who he is, and if he doesn’t then the pitcher made a mistake. A better example of second guessing comes with managers, because most fans don’t care about every single pitch.

The most securitized moves a manager can make are the ones that affect his pitching staff. A manager can try and save his bullpen by sacrificing a starter by allowing him to go a couple innings too long, but this will result in a lot of second guessing. A manager can lift the pitcher because he trusts his bullpen, but if the new pitcher gets hit then that move will be wrong. There is really no way to win in these situations. The right move will always be the one the manager didn’t make.

If the philosophy behind the move is the right one and it doesn’t work out can we really criticize it? If a manager has a poor left handed batter coming up to bat against a left handed pitcher with runners at first and second and one out, and he lifts this batter for a right handed pinch hitter who is a much better hitter. Can we really say it was the wrong move if the batter grounds into a double play? We cannot. It was the right move to make. Every decision cannot be easy. If they were then it wouldn’t be a decision.

Second guessing is something that a lot of fans do. A day after a tough loss, where a move didn’t work out, take some time to listen to the common fan. They will question why a move was made or a pitcher threw a certain pitch or any number of other things. It is easy to see what should have been done from the future. The only thing we can do is examine the philosophy behind the moves, and if that is wrong then we should question the decision, but if it was a good move that just didn’t work out then it is just petty second guessing.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Winding down the great season

Since the Atlanta Braves are pretty much all but completely mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, my season is just about almost over. Even more so, the fact that home games left in Atlanta are left with today through Sunday, and then the last six on the road against the surging Phillies, and the Houston Astros, who I'm pretty certain, have not forgotten the C-blocking that the Braves gave to them at the end of last season.

Tonight marks John Smoltz statue night, and tomorrow is the final evening game at Turner Field. Saturday has been flexed to be broadcast on FOX, likely because the Braves aren't completely eliminated from contention, and the Brewers are still very well in the mix of the NL Central; for lack of a better term, it's probably one of the only appealing matchups between two teams who have everything to lose. Sunday is the final home game at Turner Field for this season, and then it's off to Philly and Houston to wind it all down.

If I attend all four games, that will push my overall game attendance to 38 games on the season. What makes me proud is the fact that nine of those were not home games, but expanding my horizons to parks outside of Atlanta.

• Safeco Field, in Seattle
• Fenway Park, in Boston
• Citizens Bank Park, in Philadelphia
• The Diamond (Richmond Braves), in Richmond
• Camden Yards, in Baltimore
• Rogers Centre, in Toronto
• RFK Stadium, x3, in Washington DC

And speaking of Washington DC; fairly recently, and fairly quietly, the Nationals won and have since left behind win #63. What does this mean? For all of the people, media, sports "broadcasters," who believed that the 2007 Washington Nationals were the worst team in the history of baseball, and were without a shadow of a doubt going to lose over 120 games, shattering the Mets' record, well, they're all fucking wrong. There are times in which it felt like the only people in this country who didn't believe that the Nationals could at least hold off 100 losses were myself and my co-writer.

I mean, seriously - it takes a severe lack of talent to lose 100 games. "Severe lack of talent" could easily describe teams like the Devil Rays, but even now they have guys like Carl Crawford, Delmon Young, Scott Kazmir, and Al Reyes who have gotten to the point where they could lose all their remaining games and still barely not touch 100 losses (but that would put them at 99). The Nationals have talent, whether it is yet to be fully tapped (Ryan Zimmerman), or was always there but forgotten to the public (Dmitri Young). Their farm system is full of potential, and has shown glimpses of it from guys like John Lannan. They shrugged off Mike Bacsik's fanboy dream to be in the histories of baseball when he gave up Barry Bonds' 756th, and despite the hoopla behind it - the Nationals still won that game. The worst team in history wouldn't have done that, and it would've instead prompted Frank Robinson to come out of his ground-level retirement home, look up to the skies, and say "can't no niggas play dis got-damn game???"

I love being right sometimes.

OH, and speaking of which, as of today, the New York Yankees as are 1.5 games behind in the AL East divisional race. The same people who said the Nationals were destined for 121 losses, were usually the same ones who declared the Yankees dead, and the Red Sox already the World Series champions. And just as they were wrong about the Nationals, they were wrong to declare that the Yankees were a dead team, and that their reign of nine consecutive division titles was about to end. The biggest mistake any of those people said was a mathematical equasion, stating how well the Yankees needed to play to remain in the hunt for October (which was like a 76% winning percentage or something). And apparently the Yankees read that article, and not only have they been playing 76% ball, they're playing more like 88% ball. And now they're thinking, fuck the Wild Card, let's take what's rightfully ours.

I'm not a Yankees fan, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do like to think that I'm an intelligent fan, and if there's one thing I've learned in my limited experience, is that it's never smart to bet against the Yankees. They did it in 2005, when Boston collapsed, and the Yankees literally stole the division out from under them on the second-to-last day of the season. Seriously, they finished with identical records, but the Yankees won the season series. Why should this year be any different? The Red Sox are no better than being able to be called the Atlanta Braves of the AL - they do well all the time, but really only have one championship to show for it - they collapse often in the playoffs just as much; the only real differences is that they are in Boston and have boatloads more money in their budget.

So yeah, the Yankees have taken their once 14.5 GB deficit, and sliced it to 1.5, with plenty of time to take the division. Ortiz is gimpy, Dice-K's out of gas, Schilling would rather blog, and Manny is still being Manny. Meanwhile, A-Rod is still slugging, Posada is quietly having one of the best years of his career, Yankee relievers are getting starters rest, and Pettitte is being, well, once again, Pettitte. To refer back to 2005 again, the White Sox let their once gargantuan lead slip to one game to the Indians - and then they mauled their last few opponents, and then swept the Indians, gave them malaria, forced them off their land, and then ate their lunch, to end the regular season, and then lost like, once, while their starting pitching threw like ten complete games, en route to the World Series championship.

Baseball is baseball - anything can happen. It's unwise for anyone to label anyone prematurely, because you never know what's going to happen next. Boston can respond like a rabid pitbull, or they can go down swinging like a tasteless Michael Vick joke.

Did I mention how much I love being right?

Friday, August 31, 2007

The First Rule Broken

I wonder sometimes if sportswriters are paying attention. I wonder if the lesser ones just take the words their idols wrote before the season, look at the standings, and then make up pointless lists. Our latest Nats bashing comes from Larry Dobrow of cbssportsline.com. Larry decided that a list of the best and worst organizations in baseball had to be made, and that he was the man for the job. His bottom four is Texas, Washington, Baltimore, and Pittsburgh. Well three out of four ain’t bad, but the inclusion of Washington is just plain silly. If somehow this were the same ownership group that ran the team that was in Montreal, and the first two seasons in Washington then he has a point. But since the team was sold and now has some of the best minds in baseball running the show Larry misses the mark. Let’s look at what Larry has to say about the Nationals and then tear it apart and show why he just isn’t very smart.

This situation should be nigh-impossible to screw up: great sports market aching for a winner, shiny new stadium about to open, well-heeled ownership group. And yet can't-sit-still GM Jim Bowden feels the need to keep scrapheap finds like Ronnie Belliard and Dmitri Young around for ... what, really? Making quick work of the postgame buffet? Simply indefensible.

I can defend it, and if it can be defended then it is not indefensible. Ronnie Belliard might be one of the best utility infielders around, so really why not keep him if you can. Belliard is signed for a relatively low salary and most likely will be the back up infielder next year. When he was in that role briefly in the beginning of the season he delivered many key pinch hits to either start or end game winning rallies. As for Dmitri Young, does no one pay attention to the batting title anymore? Is having a career .295 batter filling in for the forever injured Nick Johnson or coming of the bench really a bad thing? Also why does he feel the need to make fun of them for their weight? He calls them scrapheap finds, and then bashes keeping them. I have a table sitting beside my chair at home that someone was going to throw away. I use it as a place to keep my remotes and sit my drink on when I am eating dinner or watching TV. It serves a good purpose and was a nice find. If it actually were junk it wouldn’t be a find. Also take a second to compare the stats of Ronnie Belliard and Josh Barfield and then ask an Indians fan who they want at second.

This team should've been riding the player-development bandwagon from the first day they arrived, as a shell of a franchise, in D.C. A few 75-win seasons might be good for morale, but they're getting in the way of a bunch of 95-win ones down the road.

Now he takes the time to bash the team by laying out Stan Kasten’s plan. He lays out the team’s plan in order to bash the team. In whose mind does this make sense? He also mentions the first day they arrived. I am sorry to disappoint him, but that wasn’t the same ownership group. That ownership group and team president Tony Taveras is the reason that it is a shell of a franchise. Since the new owners have taken over they have been riding the player development bandwagon. They have spent large amounts of money to hire the best scouts, they have had two excellent drafts, and they are signing key veterans that can help the young players adjust to life in the majors. My main question really is did this guy do any research before he decided to rip a team. He rips them for signing two bench players acting like these are the only moves that will happen between now and next year, and then he lays out Stan Kasten’s plan as the way they should be moving. So his argument is pretty much, “They are doing what I think they should be doing, but I didn’t bother to research anything, and Keith Law and Ken Rosenthal says they are bad so I will say they are bad.”

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The First Rule of being a Baseball Aficionado

My co-writer and I recently decided that we have a deeper knowledge than the typical fan. This is probably true since we focus primarily on baseball and believe football to be an inferior sport. we also take time to read many articles and books on the sport in order to expand our knowledge. Every fan in baseball needs to understand the game more than fans in other sports, but they don’t always understand every move a manager or team executive makes. While we know we aren’t smart enough to make these moves we can see the logic behind them. Therefore the first rule of being a baseball aficionado is to understand that you don’t know more than the people running baseball teams.


I am convinced that this is one of the main problems with today’s sports media. Guys like John Heyman or Ken Rosenthal believe what they think is the only way to think. That if they think a team should make a move and then they don’t they can’t understand the logic behind it. John Heyman didn’t understand why the Nationals would resign Dmitri Young. The answer is probably that they know something he doesn’t. He doesn’t have a working knowledge of the trades that were discussed or the medical reports on Nick Johnson. Jon Heyman also doesn’t know how Dmitri is with his teammates, but because Jon Heyman has an opinion on Dmitri Young as an out of shape, over the hill player he then thinks it is a bad move. Jon Heyman believes his opinions to be facts, and that if he ran a team they would be the greatest thing ever.


Normal fans may be smart, but they sometimes outsmart themselves. Prospects are nice, but they aren’t everything. Earlier this season the Braves traded Jarrod Saltalamacchia for Mark Teixeira, and now that the Braves are on a cold streak some fans are concerned about the move. They are part of the culture were anything new is exciting. Even though the Braves have a young catcher in Brian McCann some fans want to see the hot new thing stick around. The logic behind the move is correct. You trade from a strength to fill a weakness. The Braves needed a good slugging first baseman and they got it in Teixeira. What the Braves didn’t need was another young catcher that would be better off getting to play instead of sitting on the bench behind another young catcher. These fans made the error of assuming they knew more about baseball than the people running the team.


Looking at the past there are many moves that puzzled fans at first. The trade of Lou Brock to the Cardinals for 18 game winner Brogilio confused the media and the fans. The fans felt that Brogilio was an established star and that the Cardinals were trading for an outfielder that would never be any good. As time went on Lou Brock became a force to be reckoned with on the bases and at the plate as well as a good defensive outfielder. As for Brogilio, not much was heard from him after them. At the time of the trade some in the media called it one of the worst trades ever. They were right, but not for the reasons they thought. Bing Devine knew more about running a baseball team than sportswriters, but they assumed that they were in fact the ones with the deeper knowledge.


Knowing your limits is important in any area in life. Knowing that there will always be someone smarter, and knowing that there is always more to learn is the first step to learning. If one presumes they know everything then they will not seek further knowledge. In order to be a baseball aficionado one must first know that there is still more to be learned, and the ones that know what we desire to learn are the ones that get to run the teams.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Beautiful Sickness

Jose Reyes might be the best player in the NL east. He is one of the best players this season, and he might even be one of the best ever when it is all said and done. But when I see Jose Reyes walk to the plate I feel sick. A dreadful fear grips me deep in the pit of my stomach. I know that something great is about to happen, and I am not going to like it. They need a new stat for Jose Reyes. Earlier this season I saw a bloop hit drop just between the second baseman and the right fielder, and somehow Jose Reyes made it to second base. That wasn’t slugging. It was pure speed and instincts. The ball was picked up as soon as it hit the ground, but Reyes was already half way to second base. The way that ball was hit it had no right to be a double, but Reyes made it happen.


If Jose Reyes makes it to first he might as well already be on second, and if he is on second he might as well already be on third. He seemingly takes bases at will, and very well could be the first player in a long time to steal 100 bases. Jose Reyes is an amazing athlete. Even though he can single handedly manufacture a run to crush my team’s hopes, I still enjoy watching him play. He is one of the best of this generation, and we should all, as baseball fans, be pleased we get to witness it. Every move he makes is a crushing blow to the hopes of our teams winning, but every move he makes is also another move into legend.


Reyes isn’t just an offensive force either. Any ball hit between second and third could very well end up in Reyes glove, and his arm is good enough to make a throw from anywhere on the field. He moves with an effortless grace that no human has any right to move with. He can dive to his left, right, come in quickly, and run back on balls better than anyone.


I look forward to watching him play, but yet I hate it. Reyes scores runs and takes runs away from any team he plays. He could have succeeded at any sport in the world. Imagine Reyes running down the sidelines, streaking away from a defensive back, and reaching up to catch a 50 yard touchdown pass. Imagine him driving through the lane, leaping between two defenders, and rolling the ball into the basket. Imagine as he dribbles a soccer ball, switches it from the left to the right foot, and then curves it neatly beyond the goalies reach. Jose Reyes is a symbol of what is right with sports. He is the type of athlete we spend our money to watch, even if we are spending it to watch him beat our favorite team.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Brandon Webb is not unhittable; everyone just thinks he is.

When a massive amount of exposure it put onto a single player, regardless of any sport, two things can happen.

In most cases, it creates what we all like to call "a curse," where this newfound exposure creates an opposite effect to the type of exposure it was given.

Example: in 2005, Jeff Francoeur came up and batted like .million and hit four homers instantaneously after being called up. Sports Illustrated jumped all over this, put him on the cover, labeled him "The Natural," (a la this year's Rick Ankiel) and then Frenchy came back to earth. Had he been called up sooner, I'm sure his averages would've dipped beneath .300 and his homers wouldn't have looked that impressive.

But in a rare few instances, the player who receives positive exposure will feel their confidence rise, and in turn their abilities will rise. I believe Webb is one of these instances. Not only does he feel confident that he is a good pitcher, all of the players in the league who have also seen this exposure now have this gnat-sized piece of doubt in the back of their mind that the next time they face Webb, they might just get dominated. With this kind of intimidation on his side, Webb's already won half the battle before even throwing the first pitch. Pitchers who win Cy Youngs are never the same pitchers again - you'll very rarely see them get completely annihilated barring hidden injuries, or the coming of age.

I do not mean to de-value Webb's abilities, but let's face it - Skip Caray, Bobby Cox, all the players on both teams, anyone who remotely follows baseball; we all know what's coming. A sinker in some sort of fashion; Caray called it best - "Everything webb throws has some sink to it." And that is not an exaggeration! He delivers his change-ups at a higher angle so that they still fall into the strike zone, and his fastballs that look like they're coming straight down the pipe will all sink and miss the strike zone...but since none the Braves are willing to be a little patient, they'd never notice this.

Naturally, this negative tirade, is the result of a frustrating loss. Sometimes I get tired of seeing Atlanta being made into examples, or being a red carpet for another player or team onto something interesting. Hearing that Webb now has four more complete games than the entire Atlanta pitching staff is kind of irritating, and I texted and IMed everyone i could to let them know that Webb was throwing a potential no-no, just to try to induce one of those "jinxes," which seemed to work when Kelly Johnson blooped a hail mary into no-man's land to get on base.

So let's just hope that Atlanta can blow out the D-Backs the next two nights, so everyone can talk about Arizona's embarrassing run-differential some more instead.

EDIT: Just got back from the second Arizona/Atlanta game. I thought I said let's have Arizona get blown out, not Atlanta... Micah Owings, the pitcher, hits two homers, and the Braves just pretty much stink up the joint, to the point where nobody cheered for damn near anything. Nights, stretches like this, are what make it frustrating to be a sports fan.

I need something to make me laugh.



That'll do.

Monday, August 13, 2007

I hate to say "I told you so..."

I'm not going to talk about the Braves' recent sucking against the Philadelphia Phillies, or how retarded Alfonseca looks like whenever he celebrates a strikeout.

I'm not going to talk about how tired I'm getting of ESPN picking up Braves games (read: late-games) whenever they're not picking up the Red Sox vs. Yankees.

But speaking of the Red Sox...

Their lead is now down to 4 games.

Every sportswriter, their mothers, their best friends for whom they ghost-contribute to their own putrid sports blogs lay the Yankees out to waste when their lead dipped to like 50 games behind Boston. Sports Illustrated, ESPN, Fox Sports, every major media outlet had claimed that the Yankees were done for. Sometimes I feel like I was the only person in the world who, despite not being a Yankees fan, was still the only person outside of New York to not count out the Yankees. Ever since Jeter gave it to us mathematically how they had to play, it just turns out that the rest of the team responded, and has been playing that way.

Yes, the Braves have won 14 straight division titles, which seems like a record that'll never be broken. But the Yankees are up to nine, and this season is not over yet. The Red Sox and Yankees still have to play several more times, and each time the Yankees win, that'll be an entire game in the standings. Sportswriters seem to have forgotten that just two years ago, Boston seemed to be cruising to a division title, until the Yankees literally snuck in and took it from them the day before the regular season ended.

There's nothing strange about how sports are - the world prematurely buries a perennial-good team during a slow start, said team is alleviated of the pressures of success. With the lack of pressure, the players play looser, more relaxed. A more relaxed, loose team has a tendency to win. It's happened in all sports, not just baseball.

And if people don't realize this, and keep the pressure on Boston to hold off the Yankees, instead of pressuring the Yankees to win #10 in a row, Yankee Stadium is going to have yet another banner in their rafters for their dominance in the Inferior League.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Sports and Bipolarity

No more Macay McBride. +1
No more Wilfredo Ledezma. +1
No more Craig Wilson. +1
No more Mark Redman. +1

Tanyon Sturtze on the DL. 0
Mike Gonzalez on the DL. -1
Willy Aybar on the DL. 0
Edgar Renteria now on the DL. -2

In comes Mark Teixiera. +2
In comes Ron Mahay. +1
In comes Heath Bell. +1
In comes Octavio Dotel. +1

Yes, it's subjective, but the way I see it, throughout the duration of the season, the Atlanta Braves have improved by about nine imaginary points over a neutral, imaginary ranking. The loss of Gonzalez and Renteria has put a noticeable hole in both the bullpen, as well as the lineup. But with the influx of all this new talent at the trade deadline, all I have to ask is this:

Why aren't the Atlanta Braves winning more?


Obviously, I'm writing this after watching Andruw Jones ground into a game-ending double-play, after the Braves had the bases loaded with ZERO OUTS. Of all the players in the world, Jeff Francoeur couldn't make magic happen, but hey, everyone's human. Naturally, there will be points in this season where I will gladly give birth to Andruw Jones' illegitimate child, but for the time being: Fuck Andruw Jones. Him and his achy elbow can sit on the DL and watch his gigantic paycheck diminish, sinking faster than his batting average. The Braves shouldn't have lost this game. At least not in regulation. I would've been satisfied if they could at least make Billy Wagner blow a save before blowing the game, but dependable Andruw generated a worst-case scenario for the eleventy-billionth time this season.

Which brings me to the question I just asked; why aren't the Braves winning more? After hitting three homers in his first three games, Mark Teixiera was relatively a non-factor against both Colorado and now against the Mets. Mahay couldn't get a single ball into the strike-zone against Damion Easley tonight, and blew the lead for Smoltz, who gutted it out and stayed in it long enough, even though we could all tell he didn't have his best stuff tonight. Anyone watching could see the anxiety in Smoltz's eyes when Bobby came to make the pitching change. It's like he knew that this was a night where a save would be blown, and essentially the game would be lost. Smoltz is like god or something, heed his word, and let him get out of the inning himself. Soriano continues to give up homers as often as Andruw Jones generates easy outs, and Dotel has been just as inconsistent. It's only a matter of time before Soriano is put on the DL for sucking, but have the team say something like "pinky tendinitis," or in Josh Beckett's case, an *expletive* blister. Maybe I haven't been watching enough, but has Heath Bell even gotten to pitch yet? That massive AL-pitcher type who looks like he's tipping over while he pitches? Where the fuck has he been?

So in conclusion, despite the fact that the Braves are supposedly now World Series contenders, in reality, they're really still just floating around in mediocrity. There is this weird triangular diagram with a bulb on each point, that the Braves operate on, and the bulbs represent the offense, starting pitching, and bullpen. At any given time, there are always two lights on... but never all three. The hitting will be hot, and the starting pitching will be awesome, but Soriano will somehow start sucking, and Wickman won't be able to close a game outside of Atlanta. Or like when Kyle Davies wouldn't be able to get out of an inning, but Villarreal and Moylan pitch a combined six innings and bail the team out. Or when Tim Hudson pitches 7.2 innings, and the bullpen holds the other team at bay, the offense decides that every hit must be a home run, and they go 1-2-3 in every fucking inning, and inevitably lose the game 3-0. Despite the influx of all this new talent, this operational diagram has not changed.

The Mets are prime for the taking with no Beltran, and Delgado unable to hit any splitters, and Wright chasing slides into the dugouts. They figure out Oliver Perez, but then give up game-winning home runs to Mr. Piss-Hands, Moises Alou of all people.

Being a sports fan is frustrating, as many people can attest to. When the days are over, I'd rather go through such emotional roller coasters over not having baseball at all, But just for one night, it's just a little bit worse, for one Braves fan.

Monday, August 6, 2007

What to do with Those Predictions

If by some chance you are a professional sports journalist and you happen to stumble upon this I would like to give you some advice. We all know you had to pick someone to finish last, and the Nationals seemed like as good a pick as any. Remember this next year though when you damn one team as having a possibility to be historically bad. With each victory the Nationals inch closer to winning 62 games and not losing 100 we know you cringe. We knew your predictions were wrong from the start. We knew the Nationals had no chance to lose 130, 120, or 115 games. Some of us even doubted they would lose 100, and now it is looking like they won’t.

As a sports journalist I know your editors handed down an edict that you had to bash the Nationals every chance you got. Buster Olney said they would lose 130, Ken Rosenthal said the front office was a mess as they dared fired people they didn’t hire, and Jon Heyman thinks the players are fat and the front office should trade their best players. Look at how many good teams went about building by getting hitters and a couple starters but forgot the bullpen (sorry Cleveland fans). The Nationals obviously have noticed the trend of teams with good relief pitching winning.

As a sports journalist I know your job isn’t to pay attention to pesky things like trends within the game. I also know you can’t judge a player on what they might do unless they play for the Yankees or Red Sox. While everyone else still realized J.D. Drew wouldn’t change. For some reason to you he seemed like a god in a Red Sox jersey.

If it is true what you claim that the Nationals still have no starters and no one on the team can hit then shouldn’t Manny Acta be a lock for manager of the year? The Nationals current rotation is three rookies and two career minor leaguers. Of course Tim Redding is more of a reclamation project, but don’t let pesky things like his surgery and other teams not giving him a chance get in the way of running down the Nats. The Nationals are still a building team and aren’t likely to be very good next year, but remember when you make your predictions just because you have never heard of someone doesn’t mean they aren’t any good.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Trade Deadline Theatrics



The trade deadline is over now, and by now, everyone pretty much knows everyone who was traded to whomever, and it's safe to say that the Atlanta Braves made the biggest impact move of the season by acquiring Mark Teixeira for five players, including Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Screw Eric Gagné and the Red Sox, he is overrated and injury prone, and hopefully he will not injure himself throwing fastballs at a trash bag again. Optimism returns to this travel-weary baseball fan.

As a Braves fan, the most important trade of the season occured two months ago, when Atlanta shipped off the worthless Macay McBBride away. It didn't matter that we got the less-worthless Wilfredo Ledezma in return, because we shipped his less-worthless ass off away yesterday regardless, the fact of the matter is that Macay McBBride was and now still is someone else's problem.

If anyone thinks Detroit's going all the way, better look no further than that gaping left-handed hole in the bullpen. The inferior league is going to be represented by Anaheim, folks.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Definition: The Watermelon Sox

A lot of people love the Boston Red Sox. Regardless of if they're from Boston or not. They have an underdog complex, and regardless of the fact that the Red Sox have exorcised such demons and won it all back in 2004, there are legitimately a lot of fucking fans. I think they're alright, but their fans can be a little annoying. I wouldn't mind people in Atlanta being a little more loyal to the home team.



But today, what I'm going to discuss is the birth of the Watermelon Sox.

Boston, this season is a pretty good team, with decent pitching, a less suspect bullpen, and the usual slugging from Manny Ortez and company, including the impressive emergency of MLB's version of Sam Cassell, meaning the ugliest player in the league - Kevin Youkilis. But winning ways aside, the unfortunate passing of Red Auerbach made the Red Sox decide to honor him earlier in April.

So for an evening, the Boston Red Sox donned green jerseys to tribute the Celtics legend. To make things better, they defeated the Yankees in a come-from-behind, against Mariano Rivera. The jersey is now apparently a permanent item in the Wal-Mart sized Official Red Sox Merchandise store - players who didn't even participate in that particular game, Tim Wakefield, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Jonathan Papelbon, etc, have their names and numbers emblazoned on Celtic green on jerseys for sale.

But let's be frank here - the gesture was touching, but in actuality, it was pretty goofy looking.

My co-writer said it the best when he declared that the Red Sox looked like a bunch of watermelons. I thought about it for a second, and seconded that thought, when I was reminded of chunks of Bubbalicious gum, fresh out of their wrappers.

Look at Jason Varitek here - Navy blue helmet, green jersey, white pants, red knock-socks. Black cleats. Now I'm no fashion genius by any stretch of the imagination, but man, is that a whole lot of colors to be put together in one package.

I wonder what is going to happen when some big figure from the Boston Bruins die one day. I wonder if Varitek is going to have to mix in some yellow into the rainbow of colors he's already wearing.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Definition: The FOX Pitcher

Every few weekends throughout the Major League season, FOX picks up a few games, some nationally televised, some more regional. And they get the All-Star game, as well as the majority of the MLB playoffs, and the World Series.

Despite the fact that baseball is a sport that can really only be broadcast in one way, all local and national markets show the game with their own little twists. Some add wider camera angles, some shoot so that only the pitcher, and those in the batter's circle are visible, really zoomed in tightly.

ESPN films in a fashion that finds a compromised point where the pitcher and batter are roughly in a square, dead center on the screen. The viewer will hear the words "Nationwide K-zone" about every 40 seconds. Also, ESPN plagues the viewers with commercials that plug "The Bronx is Burning" or other repeated ads that often go on too long, often resulting in the game coming back with the first few pitches already being thrown, or whenever Matt Diaz is leading off the inning, with one out already.

Here in Atlanta, we have the luxury of being broadcast on three different networks throughout the season, not including the occasional ESPN and FOX nods. SportSouth, FSN South, and TBS - their styles are pretty much the same, as there is few twists to the otherwise "uniform" way of broadcasting baseball.

But the FOX Network, not only do they have the intense, emotional commentary of Joe Buck, they are also notorious for a camera habit that I like to call...

The FOX Pitcher.

For reasons unknown, FOX cameras, prior to every single pitch, make sure to zoom in as much as possible to the head of the pitcher. It does not matter if it is a star like John Smoltz, or a middle reliever like Joel Piñero, if they're pitching, you learn what they look like, very quickly. And it's not always flattering... like when a guy like Kelvim Escobar is pitching, and you can tell that he really wants to blow his nose after the inning, or how he could make a few extra bucks endorsing Proactiv®.

Why they do this, I have no idea. I suspect that perhaps by showing the pitcher's face, people can try to read into their emotions and what they might thinking. It might actually add to the drama of the game, especially if it's tight, and the crowd is going apeshit. Who knows?

I'm bored at work, and no piece of writing is complete without some visual evidence. So without further ado, I'm going to talk about FOX Pitchers: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good - it's not that they're really that good, or handsome or anything, they're just not... well, bad or hideously ugly.



Tom Glavine's steely stare, and seemingly concrete face. Watching this man pitch makes me wonder if he's got a mask on, because his facial expression doesn't change throughout an entire game. Jonathan Papelbon, and his super-high-energy-intensity stare while reading signs from Varitek. And JJ Putz, after seeing him in action during the All-Star Game, even though he was on the brink of a BS, watching his slow, methodical routine of bending over for the cameras and staring at the ground, before slowly drawing his head upward with a homicidal stare to read the signs from Johjima. Now that I think about it, it's normally closers who have this kind of need for gimmicks (Like Chad Cordero and his flat-bill cap, but FOX would never show the Nationals unless they were in contention), perhaps it helps them get some sort of mental advantage - when trying to get through a high-pressure situation, I imagine any sort of advantage is beneficial, whether it is physical or mental.


The Bad - they're not good, but they're not quite disgusting.



Greg Maddux is one of my all-time favorite pitchers of all time, and I will cheer for him no matter who he plays for. I would favor him over Roger Clemens any day of the week. But let's be honest here, he's not exactly the best looking guy in the world, and looks downright silly when photographed in the midst of a pitch. When FOX cameras zoom into his face, you see a droopy, almost jowly face of a legend who is more concerned about getting you to slap a come-backer to his glove than what he looks like in the mirror. K-Rod and his Steve Urkel-like looks, and his Reggie Jackson-like glasses. If not for the fact that he is a damn good closer, I don't know what this guy's got going for him outside of baseball. And we have Dan Haren, who like most of the Oakland A's, looks like a dirty stoner, or a caveman in a uniform.


The Ugly - watching these guys on your screen makes it harder to watch the game.



Watching Game 5 of last year's World Series was rough - not because of the tightness of the game, and my lack of confidence that Jeff Weaver would get out of another inning, but of the constant close-ups of his face in between EVERY. SINGLE. PITCH. His eyesight has obviously deteriorated with age (as has his skill, seeing his record with Seattle now), but his mangey hair, creepy, pedophile stubble... let me know when Fernando Rodney stops committing errors and the Cards are up to bat, because I'm getting sick of Weaver's face. Kenny Rogers makes the best face while pitching ever. It's not pretty, he gets the job done regardless, but I can't help but laughing whenever I see his face go from FOX injected intensity, to this face from the time his feet are on the rubber to throw. Last, and certainly least, we have 'Ol Boomer, David Wells. The man has never been pretty to look at, and watching his left arm have to go around his massive gut en route to a lollipop curve is never a pretty sight. But he has a Perfect Game on his resume, and none of these other jabronis on the list can say so.



I love playoff baseball, but FOX can do without the constant closeups of every single pitcher. And considering the probable playoff teams for this year, Kelvim Escobar can hopefully work something out with Proactiv®.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

the all-star game sucks

never send a phillie to do a real ballplayer's job.

the NL will never win as long as representatives from teams like the phillies, diamondbacks and pirates are obligated to have representatives. the inferior league was smart - meche, jenks, and most importantly, the middle reliever voted-in as the "last in line all-star" okajima did not pitch.

la russa on the other hand used the pity vote chris young, a mediocre #2 starter with inflated stats to blow the game, and then guys like billy wagner who can't throw anything outside of the fucking middle of the plate clinches it.

amazingly cubs players pull the NL back, before a phillie ruins the excitement.

and la russa selfishly rests his star who only had to get a single base-hit to keep the game going. pujols wouldn't even have to try to run to first if he got a clean hit, homer or not. a base hit would have resulted in either a tie or the win, but la russa fucked that up.

Friday, July 6, 2007

A Great Mystery Solved

I mean no offense to people from Chicago with what I am about to write. Being a Nationals fan and someone who cheers for the hometown team no matter what I can somewhat relate to Cubs fans from Chicago. Of course Wrigley Field is also full of yuppies that care nothing for the game and just want to sit around and throw trash on the field. I guess a lot of Cubs fans throw themselves on the field.


Some teams just travel well. The Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals, and Mets always bring their fans, but those teams win. The Cubs haven’t won anything that anyone can remember. The last time they made it to the playoffs they lost because their second baseman couldn’t pick up a routine grounder. Don’t even try given me that crap about Bartman. I don’t understand how one foul ball that still had to be caught by stone hands Alou can lead to an eight run inning. The Cubs just don’t win, and they don’t win in funny fashion. They are a comedy to all baseball fans that are not Cubs fans. So it has always confused me as to why someone would bandwagon with the Cubs. Why would someone choose to be a loser?


I can understand wanting to follow a winning team, but choosing to be a Cubs fan is like choosing to be a Devil Rays fan, or have a root canal without anesthesia. It just never made much sense until I attended three games against the Cubs this week. I saw many people who should be eating chicken heads at the local fair all wearing Cubbies blue. So the only possible answer is bandwagon Cubs fans are born losers. They are just used to losing. It is what they do. Instead of being a poser and cheering for the Yankees or some other team that has won the World Series in anyone’s lifetime they don’t hide their identity. They are just losers.


The funniest conversation I heard was between a bandwagon Red Sox fan and a bandwagon Cubs fun discussing the amount of fans in the stadium. The Cubs fan was trying to figure out the percentage of Cubs to Nationals fans, and the Red Sox fan claimed there were more Red Sox fans in RFK than Nationals fan. There is always someone in every building in the world wearing a Red Sox hat. So the fact that this guy saw another one must mean there are most than those that came to cheer for the Nationals. Quick math here before I get to what the Cubs fan decided was the ratio of Cubs to Nats fans. The Nationals have 15,000 season ticket holds and last nights attendance was 22,000. 7,000 of the people were not season ticket holders. It is from this 7,000 were the Cubs fans were most likely to come from. The Cubs fan claimed that it was 60% Cubs fans at RFK. This of course is not possible, and I would say it was more like 20%. But Cubs fans are born losers and can’t count.