Sports and Bipolarity

No more Macay McBride. +1
No more Wilfredo Ledezma. +1
No more Craig Wilson. +1
No more Mark Redman. +1

Tanyon Sturtze on the DL. 0
Mike Gonzalez on the DL. -1
Willy Aybar on the DL. 0
Edgar Renteria now on the DL. -2

In comes Mark Teixiera. +2
In comes Ron Mahay. +1
In comes Heath Bell. +1
In comes Octavio Dotel. +1

Yes, it's subjective, but the way I see it, throughout the duration of the season, the Atlanta Braves have improved by about nine imaginary points over a neutral, imaginary ranking. The loss of Gonzalez and Renteria has put a noticeable hole in both the bullpen, as well as the lineup. But with the influx of all this new talent at the trade deadline, all I have to ask is this:

Why aren't the Atlanta Braves winning more?

Obviously, I'm writing this after watching Andruw Jones ground into a game-ending double-play, after the Braves had the bases loaded with ZERO OUTS. Of all the players in the world, Jeff Francoeur couldn't make magic happen, but hey, everyone's human. Naturally, there will be points in this season where I will gladly give birth to Andruw Jones' illegitimate child, but for the time being: Fuck Andruw Jones. Him and his achy elbow can sit on the DL and watch his gigantic paycheck diminish, sinking faster than his batting average. The Braves shouldn't have lost this game. At least not in regulation. I would've been satisfied if they could at least make Billy Wagner blow a save before blowing the game, but dependable Andruw generated a worst-case scenario for the eleventy-billionth time this season.

Which brings me to the question I just asked; why aren't the Braves winning more? After hitting three homers in his first three games, Mark Teixiera was relatively a non-factor against both Colorado and now against the Mets. Mahay couldn't get a single ball into the strike-zone against Damion Easley tonight, and blew the lead for Smoltz, who gutted it out and stayed in it long enough, even though we could all tell he didn't have his best stuff tonight. Anyone watching could see the anxiety in Smoltz's eyes when Bobby came to make the pitching change. It's like he knew that this was a night where a save would be blown, and essentially the game would be lost. Smoltz is like god or something, heed his word, and let him get out of the inning himself. Soriano continues to give up homers as often as Andruw Jones generates easy outs, and Dotel has been just as inconsistent. It's only a matter of time before Soriano is put on the DL for sucking, but have the team say something like "pinky tendinitis," or in Josh Beckett's case, an *expletive* blister. Maybe I haven't been watching enough, but has Heath Bell even gotten to pitch yet? That massive AL-pitcher type who looks like he's tipping over while he pitches? Where the fuck has he been?

So in conclusion, despite the fact that the Braves are supposedly now World Series contenders, in reality, they're really still just floating around in mediocrity. There is this weird triangular diagram with a bulb on each point, that the Braves operate on, and the bulbs represent the offense, starting pitching, and bullpen. At any given time, there are always two lights on... but never all three. The hitting will be hot, and the starting pitching will be awesome, but Soriano will somehow start sucking, and Wickman won't be able to close a game outside of Atlanta. Or like when Kyle Davies wouldn't be able to get out of an inning, but Villarreal and Moylan pitch a combined six innings and bail the team out. Or when Tim Hudson pitches 7.2 innings, and the bullpen holds the other team at bay, the offense decides that every hit must be a home run, and they go 1-2-3 in every fucking inning, and inevitably lose the game 3-0. Despite the influx of all this new talent, this operational diagram has not changed.

The Mets are prime for the taking with no Beltran, and Delgado unable to hit any splitters, and Wright chasing slides into the dugouts. They figure out Oliver Perez, but then give up game-winning home runs to Mr. Piss-Hands, Moises Alou of all people.

Being a sports fan is frustrating, as many people can attest to. When the days are over, I'd rather go through such emotional roller coasters over not having baseball at all, But just for one night, it's just a little bit worse, for one Braves fan.