Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Mark Redman is the Worst Pitcher Ever

Although my co-writer may disagree with me, but Mark Redman is the worst pitcher in the history of baseball. Acquired during Spring Training to take place for the almost-as-worthless Mike Hampton who is going to miss the entire 2007 season along with the 2006 season, as well as most of the 2005 season he missed too.

I was at first optimistic, as lots of wandering players have a tendency to develop a case of "surrounded by winner-itis" where when they land a spot on a team that actually has the potential to succeed, they rise their own game and actually look like they belong.

After getting annihilated by the Mets on the Braves' own home-opener, I thought he might have just had a rocky start. But then he got annihilated by the Marlins in his next appearance, and then he got beaten by the fucking Cubs of all teams, I came to my senses and realized that Mark Redman absolutely sucks. He managed to get out of Florida with a no-decision, but still blew two generous leads, before the bullpen saved his worthless ass.

I saw the match-up today, and saw that it would be Mark Redman pitching against Cole Hamels, the lefty who, despite having no wins against the Braves, has their number. If this doesn't spell the makings of a Braves loss, I don't know what does.

But of course, a typical stat-curse developed, and mention of this fact was broadcast all over the radio and television, and despite the fact that Hamels gave up four runs, including two Chipper homers, he pretty much dominated the Braves yet again. Congrats to Hamels for getting his first victory over the Braves, and to the rest of the Phillies for beating Atlanta for the first time in five tries this year. Hopefully this will not be a common occurrence.

I told myself that tonight's game was pretty much locked up as a loss, and that I should not be the least bit frustrated and upset when it inevitably happens, but that didn't work - I'm still irritated, and I felt the need to discuss the points about why Mark Redman sucks and is the worst pitcher ever.

Mark Redman is a poison to a pitching staff. Not only does he suck, he sucks so bad that he has to be relieved early in the game, putting a huge workload on the bullpen. Villarreal pitched multiple innings, as did Peter Moylan, and both will probably not pitch at all tomorrow if needed. He is ungrateful, and seems to think leads are cushions the size of Zimbabwe, and has shown the trust of a fat kid with cake in protecting them.

I thought about attending tonight's game, but once again, I saw the lineup, and opted not to. Two of the four home games I've attended thus far have been Redman starts, and both were humiliating losses. I can't take it anymore. Although, I was mildly amused by the way the Atlanta "faithful" stood and cheered when Bobby Cox came out in the 1.2-st inning to pull Redman, as I probably would have done the same, and probably threw some John Rocker batteries at him on his way out. Believe me, it probably would've been worth it.

I know it's kind of harsh, but with the ability he plays, he's not going to be in the majors for much longer. How the fuck he became an all-star last year is completely beyond me, but I can only imagine it has to do with the fact that every team is supposedly represented in the Mid-Summer classic, and since Mike Sweeney was hurt for most of 2006, a crappy pitcher who could be afforded to be given the Andruw Jones treatment (a DNP) was selected in him instead.

I went off my tangent there - I meant to say that I know that it's kind of harsh, but at his position, I hope he's contemplating suicide - I'm baffled at how much this guy sucks. I would rather pitch and all-bullpen game consisting of the following guys:
  1. Bruce Chen
  2. Mike Remlinger
  3. Macay McBBride
  4. Ray King
  5. Chris Reitsma
  6. Dan KolBB
  7. Derrick Turnbow
  8. Kyle Farnsworth
  9. Brad Lidge facing Albert Pujols
At least maybe they'd be better at protecting a lead than Mark Redman throughout one inning.

No comments: